Earlier this week I got a jolt. I had a message on my phone from my daughter’s neurologist office saying that we had an appointment. It didn’t say when, just that we did–aren’t automated messages lovely?
Now, to begin with I thought we had cancelled this appointment when we took her off anti-seizure medications but that was a seperate phone call and I forgot to cancel it. I called my husband in a panic. I hate doctors appointments, especially with the neurologist because I panic when I try to explain anything. I start stuttering and get my words mixed up, I get argumentative and cry–in other words the neurologist thinks I am a clueless ninny who can’t talk straight and who obviously cannot make wise decisions about her daughter’s health. My husband had promised that he would go the next appointment and I thought, because of the call, that it must be the next day–meaning he couldn’t take off work in time. Time to panic.
When I got home I checked the schedule and found that it wasn’t till today. Whew. We had time to plan and I had plenty of time to worry. We planned for him taking off. We planned for the others to be babysat. We planned meals (it’s over an hour away). Then we prayed and asked for wisdom. (Oops–we got that a little backwards.)
Wednesday we had everything figured out: who, where, when. All we had left was what we wanted to say and why. We talked and talked and then once we decided what to say we prayed that we would make wise decisions and do what was best–inwardly I had been praying all day that the Lord would help my husband make a wise decision because I knew that I would stand by his word in the end–even if it meant putting her back on medication. (Yes, we prayed after instead of before–again.)
Later I remembered the important bit–that this was the appointment we were going to cancel because she was off medication–and this appointment was to check on her medication. Then as I thought I realized that all we were going to do was go and tell him what we had already told him–she is doing fine without the medication and we don’t want her medicated right now. So….I went back and talked with my husband, prayed again, then talked some more and he realized that it would be better to cancel the appointment the morning of than take off work to drive over an hour away to tell the doctor what he already knew–which the insurance probably wouldn’t pay for anyway because the reason for the appointment was gone. Um? Yeah.
Now, remember that earlier we prayed for wisdom.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
I had also prayed that the Lord would give my husband wisdom because in my worry I couldn’t possibly hold to a wise decision, even if I made it–when I panic I sway.
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I knew that the worry was a sin but also that in this I was weak and needed my husband’s lordship over me. I knew, that despite my fear that I could trust my husband and the Lord–that between them it would be right.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Later I called my mother-in-law to let her know what had happened and that we didn’t need her to watch the other two. She immediately showed concern over us canceling the appointment causing me to second guess the decision–again. Praise the Lord that it was no longer mine to make. After some discussion she saw the wisdom of our actions but that is not the point. The point is that I was protected. By placing myself first in the Lord’s hands (asking for wisdom), then in my husband’s (praying that the Lord would specifically speak to my husband in this and help him make a wise decision) I was free from worry because I could know that it was out of my hands. It is now between my husband and God–and my husband is completely at peace now whereas before he was uncertain about our decision and it was nagging at him as well.
I know my temptation to fret over doctors appointments and have learned to innoculate myself against that temptation though not by dealing it in small doses as a vaccine does. Instead I hand off those decisions which would cause me to fret to the Lord and trust Him to help my husband or boss or whoever is above me in that decision to make the right one.
So, how do you inoculate yourself against temptations?
- Know the enemy–how does he press your buttons?
- Know the truth–what verses apply to your temptations?
- Apply the truth–how can you use those truths to put up barriers around your vulnerable spots?
He has promised wisdom to those who ask and help to those in need. He does not allow anything that you cannot manage with His help. Trust Him to help you and use all the power He has placed at your disposal.
Lord of Heaven and earth, you have promised Your divine help in every area of need. Lord help us to flee temptation by running straight to You. Prepare us to fight the battle at hand. You are Lord of all creation and a very ready help in times of trouble. Amen.
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