Laced With Grace

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” ~ John 14:10 (ESV)

It started all on Saturday morning. A sweet friend of mine had shared a devotion and her own thoughts on it…The devotion really hit a cord with me. Especially one part really made me think about my purpose in His kingdom:

“The Jesus way is that you obey God’s commands because you love God, not because you must obey God. By actively pursuing the purposes of God, you worship your Creator.” (emphasis mine read the entire devotion here)

Have I been truly seeking His will over the past months? You see, I have two issues I battle with (a lot). One of the issues is pride, but I have shared about that with you before. The other issue is insecurities, self-doubt.

I really struggled last year with continuing to blog. I was discouraged by many things. Server issues; some things that were said by the on-line community (I took the wrong way)…I said to God – ‘are you sure my blogging has a purpose?’

So I pursued other things. I am not saying that those things were bad. They were actually good things, ‘fun things’. But God has been nudging me in a gentle way. Until Saturday. After I read the above mentioned devotion and what my friend had shared with me, I started praying about my purpose in His kingdom.

Oh, did God had things to show me. I had things buried deep in my heart. Insecurities that I needed to just let go. I looked at things through my eyes; not through the eyes of my Creator, my God. I only saw what others were doing around me and their ‘success’ in His kingdom.

But can you really measure success and failure in His kingdom when you are pursuing His purpose? I don’t think so. In His eyes we are all a ‘success story’. Not for what we do in His kingdom, but what He already has accomplished on the cross for us.

All I know is that I LOVE God with all my heart. Through the power of His Holy Spirit I want to fulfill my purpose in His kingdom and serve Him daily. Sometimes it takes a detour to realize what your purpose is…

Lord of Heaven and Earth. I love You with all my heart and mind. Thank you for showing me what clouded my vision. Lord, help me to always keep my vision clear and fixed on the cross to see what my purpose in Your kingdom is. I trust in Your mercy. In the precious name of Jesus I pray ~ Amen.

My sweet sisters in Christ. We all have a purpose in His kingdom. Don’t let others cloud your vision to loose focus on what He has set before you.

Blessings on your day…

Last Sunday was one of those days I wish I could wrap up and put in a special container to be opened on a cold winter day in January or a scorching day in August when the temperature hovers in the mid-nineties. It was a day of open windows and refreshing breezes blowing through the rooms of our home.

I was going to join my husband in the living room that afternoon, but I stepped outdoors for a minute and just couldn’t bear to waste the day sitting inside. I grabbed a deck chair, my Bible and Bible study book, and the novel I wanted to begin and headed for the front porch. I worked on the Bible study and then sat back for a minute before I opened my book. The scene playing out in front of me was so lovely I never did open the book. I just leaned back and tried to soak it all in.

The sky was a brilliant blue – not a cloud in sight. There was a gentle breeze moving through the branches of the trees. There were little yellow butterflies flitting across the yard – looping their way to unknown places. It was so quiet, and then I heard the birds begin singing.

I began thinking about how dry everything here is. We are in what the weather people are calling an extreme drought. We haven’t had a good rain in weeks. Just below the surface of all the beauty and tranquility is a dry condition that threatens it all. If we don’t get rain soon, everything will begin to die.

It is a picture of the way my life can become when I am spiritually dry. Everything looks wonderful on the outside. I say the right things, do what is expected, and generally go along just fine. To look at my life no one would suspect that there is something very wrong under the surface; that my spirit is dying for lack of Living Water.

When I wander away from the Lord; when I don’t spend time with Him in prayer and in the Word, there begins to be a dryness deep within my soul. The only thing that can bring refreshing new life is a drink from the well of Living Water. Just as the grass in our front yard responds immediately to the refreshing rains when they fall, so my spirit responds when I allow Jesus to pour Himself into my parched soul.

When the Lord sends us the rain that we need, the affects are seen almost immediately. Overnight the grass gets greener, the trees look fresher and new growth begins. So it is with my spirit. When I allow Him to refresh me with the water that only He can give, the results are amazing. My thirst is quenched and my spirit renewed. There is new life. Unlike the grass and other things outdoors that must wait for the rains to come, I have that water available to me every moment of my life. I have only to drink.

“But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season. And its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does he prospers.” Psalm 1: 2,3 (NAS)

“Jesus answered and said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water shall thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” John 4: 13,14 (NAS)

“Mike?  Will you go outside and put the birdseed into the feeder for me?”  I called from the kitchen.  After exhausting every excuse he could invent (oh the joys of parenting teens;) He tromped outside (in shorts and his tennis shoes, in Michigan in the middle of winter…in the snow) to do what was required.  After a while— I noticed he still hadn’t come back in.  I went to the door to find out why.  I couldn’t see him.  Instead,  my eyes followed a crazy, men’s size 10 foot-path that wandered through the yard. 

It started at the door- went to one tree, then around another, it continued toward the patio and disappeared around the side of the house.  I looked at the bird feeder.  Yep.  It was full.   At least he’d been there.  But where was he now? At 18, I don’t worry (much) if he is out of sight, but I was to say the least, intrigued.  There were a good 6 inches of snow on the ground and he WAS wearing shorts….(I don’t even ask anymore;) Just as I was about to yell out the door to (humiliate) I mean,  locate him, I heard the front door open and shut.  

“Where were you?”  I asked. (I do not know why Moms ask questions like this… but we do.) “I put bird food in the feeder, like you asked me too.” He replied, stomping his feet to shake the snow from his tennis shoes.  “I didn’t ask you to hike through snow around the yard in shorts and a t-shirt for 20 minutes! Are you trying to freeze yourself to death, or catch a cold???” (Even if I know it’;s not true, we’ve been passing a virus around here, so I’m on high alert to germs I sounded like every lame, sit-com Mom ever on TV.  “I’m not cold… I was looking around.  There are a bunch of footprints out there, you know animals, sheesh! I did what you said! “  He answered, through (slightly) chattering teeth. “Thanks.” I mumbled.  Annoyed- but not sure why.

I decided to back off.  (For once)  He had done what I asked, hadn’t her?   So, why was I annoyed?  I tried to let it go, chalking it up to a “mom thing.” But, every time I passed the patio door, I saw those foot prints. Those crazy, wandering footprints.  “Why couldn’t he just do what I said?  Why did he waste so much time wandering around, didn’t he know he could get sick or freeze or something?!”

“Why do you?” Said that still small voice.   I knew instantly, why I was annoyed.  It had nothing to do with my boy’s footprints.  It had everything to do with MINE.  If my days were mapped with footprints in snow, many of them would look like my son’s path.  I get done what I have to… eventually.  I’m not talking about laundry and dishes and projects and such, (although I tend to meander through those as well;) I’m talking about the things I feel like God is asking me to do.

Things like:

Love difficult people. Reach out, when it isn’t comfortable. (Hey it’s nice and toasty here in my little house;)   Stretch and grow in areas that I’d rather let atrophy or better yet- have surgically removed;) . 

When God asks me to do those things… I spend a lot of time traipsing around in the snow.  I don’t quite NOT do them…. I just don’t always DO them directly. Sometimes, to be honest,  I wonder if God knows what He’s doing… asking me to do them at all.  Sometimes, they just don’t make sense, (in a common sense kind of way) so I drag my feet in rebellion. Sometimes, I just don’t want to do them, so I hesitate, I wander. I  believe, that God knows how long it will take me to actually do something, and that He is patient and loving towards me, even in my wanderings….

But- I wonder what would be different, if I quit wasting so much time, going in circles?