Laced With Grace

Little things stick. And sometimes for good reason. If something replays in my mind, I know God is trying to speak.

Am I listening?

This week while driving my son to his carpool stop, I saw a middle school boy walking with his head down holding something small in front of him. He took his sweet time crossing the neighborhood street as I waited to turn. And I mean, his sweet time.

What captured his attention? A hand held video game.

I thought, What is this world coming to? Kids can’t even walk to school now without some electronic gadget.

The following night I shopped for groceries at Sam’s Club. First my two kids and I ate pizza in the deli. A few tables away, a middle age man held his cell phone or Blackberry in front of his face, frantically pushing buttons. Justin and Hannah giggled.

“Stop staring,” I scolded. Justin claimed the guy wouldn’t even notice because he was playing a game.

“How do you know? He could be texting.”

“Because look at his face. He keeps sighing like he lost.”

Two times this week I saw two different people focusing on something small in front of them. Something they were holding on to. Both were oblivious to the world around them because of it.

Am I any different? Not really.

Sometimes I choose to carry little things around and focus on them all day. Little things like fears, feelings of rejection, stress of deadlines, or anger. And in doing so, I miss out on the world around me. And that includes my loved ones. Ouch. I wonder what my face looks like. I bet I sigh too.

I’m learning certain small things steal my day. Sometimes those little things are tangible, sometimes not. I don’t want to be memorized by one thing that I miss all small wonders around me. I want to notice every little gift God gives me.

Gifts like:

• Smiles
• Sunrises and sunsets
• Smells like my blooming lilacs
• Songs
• Sweet words
• Sleep
• Salsa (my favorite, couldn’t resist)

The list goes on.

God knew I needed a visual of what it looks like when someone focuses on one small thing and nothing else. It looks ridiculous. Crazy. God cared enough to send the message. Twice.

For the past couple weeks, I’ve been busy writing. I haven’t paused long enough to notice anything. I’ve been grumpy when someone interrupts me. I’ve missed out. It was not my laptop that mattered most. That one thing made me look ridiculous.

Heavenly Father, You know how easily I can grab on to one small thing until it becomes unhealthy. You know how easily I can develop tunnel vision and miss my today. Right now, I surrender that thing capturing my attention. Each day it’s something different. You know what it is right now. Take it. It’s not what matters most. You do. And so do others. Now that my hands and eyes are free, allow me to see the little things You send my way everyday just to say, “I see you. I care about you. I love you.”

Now there’s something worth focusing on.

Looking for God’s love in the small things.

James 1:2
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (NIV)

(my image from flickr of autumn in our street)

I’ve been sharing with my 1Peter email group and other online friends about our family news.

As some of you know I work 4 days a week in a local real estate office doing administration. For the last 6 months or so the New Zealand economy has taken a turn for the worse. Interest rates have skyrockted, retailers are losing out and people just aren’t buying houses. It’s because of this that my office has decided to close it’s doors and reduce my hours down to a few per week instead of the 8 I was doing per day.

Living in a small town means that wages aren’t as high as what you can get paid in the bigger cities but the quality of life is better. It also means for us that we will probably have to go back to surviving on my husband’s weekly wage which unfortunately doesn’t cover the mortgage, food, bills etc so I’m not sure what we’re going to do. I do have a certain peace about it though and know that God will provide. When our 3 children were little we survived on less than this, it was tight but we managed.

I’ve got to say that it’s times like this that always prove to be a learning experience and I know that I’m going to enjoy being a homemaker again, seeing my children after school and having time to get all the housework done.

Whatever happens, I know that God has it in hand.

Amy

But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. Gen. 19:26 NIV
Remember Lot’s wife! Luke 17:32 NIV

My husband Paul is my reluctant passenger whenever I travel down memory lane. Once I put on my turn signal and head toward recollection road his body stiffens and his eyes roll back in his head in silent protest. It is at that very moment that I commit a felony, a marriage felony. I become his kidnapper and he becomes my unwilling hostage.

Any questions I may ask him like, “Paul, do you remember that time…?” or “Paul, have you ever…?” can instantly transform his countenance. For the first time in a long while, I was able to share my husband’s pain. I am pursuing a part-time job at a local police department. This morning I took a polygraph test.

It really isn’t fair to compare the stress of a polygraph test or lie detector test with taking a quick trip into the past. Well, I guess it depends on your past. But I can’t help but feel that the similarities are striking. Like my husband Paul, as soon as the polygraph technician began asking me questions I immediately tensed up. She asked things like, “As far back as you can remember, have you ever stolen something from your employer…even as a teenager?” I silently thought, “Yikes, a teenager! Are we going back that far!?!” My mind quickly began to try and figure out if my infractions were still admissible in court. I was thinking of answers even before she asked the questions. I nervously wondered, “Is there a statute of limitations on stolen Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?” At one point I almost blurted out loud, “I never inhaled!!!” As my mind raced I anxiously thought, “Should I have my attorney present for the remainder of this test?!?” Like Paul, I would bet money, that as the questions continued, my eyes began to roll into the back of my head too. Some of the questions brought back memories that I was not thrilled to answer. While still more questions brought back memories I was not too proud of and even others that are actually quite shameful.

As I was driving home from my test I felt miserable. My past was laced with sins that I had not thought of in a long time. I couldn’t help but think of the story in Genesis when the angels grabbed Lot and his wife and daughters by the hand and pulled them to safety from the destruction soon to befall Sodom and Gomorrah. “As soon as they had brought them out, one of the angels said to them, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain” Gen. 19:17 NIV What a command to this family. Not only were they to flee for their lives, they were ordered not to look back and not to stop anywhere along the plain. This means they weren’t even to saunter, stroll or loiter in their past. What a command for me too. The Lord gave this command to protect me from feeling miserable. Well, of course I was feeling miserable! I had just spent three unusually long hours meandering down the road of my sinful past.

God’s Word says, I am not to look back there and not even to stop anywhere along that sinful road of remembrance. I thought of Romans 8:1 “There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.” Another verse my girlfriend had reminded me of yesterday came to mind, “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” Psalm 130:12 NLV And then verse 2Cor.5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” It was only after washing my mind in God’s Word that I again had peace.

The enemy would love to keep us back there at our Sodom and Gomorrah days. He would love to make us think that this is who we truly are. Whenever you feel yourself going there, use God’s Word as He tells us to, as a sword to slice and dice those lies! Sisters, don’t give the enemy a foothold. Turn immediately to the Lord in moments like these. God’s Word is supernatural and more powerful than any deep breathing exercises or 800 milligram Ibuprofen tablet to take away the pain and shame of our sinful past.

Remember friends, God has blessed us with an amazing brain. This brain of ours not only functions as a bad memory retriever but can also bring back to mind many beautiful memories as well. There is nothing wrong with looking back at baby photos of your children or love letters from your husband. There is nothing wrong with looking in your life’s rear view mirror from time to time to see all the special moments we have been blessed with. The reality is, that while driving forward, we can only look in our rear view mirrors for just a moment. If we were continue driving while keeping our eyes on that mirror with a view of where we have been, we would not be able to move forward very well and would eventually crash.

Jesus reminds us in the gospel of Luke, “Remember Lot’s wife!” He wants us to be cautious at looking back because looking back keeps us from moving forward and closer to Him. That is why we call this our ‘Christian walk’, not our ‘Christian stand’ or our ‘Christian stop’. Christianity is a process. As we continue in this supernatural process we will take steps forward each and every time we grow and mature. Each time we press on towards the prize.

As in all uncomfortable moments and trials I do know, that like you, as a daughter of our King, He promises that He works everything out for the good for those who love Him. I can already see today as a blessing. What started out as a nauseating recollection of the miry muck of my past soon became a great reminder to me of God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness. I am so thankful that I have a Savior and that I am redeemed. He has forgiven me and washed me as white as snow. What a reminder for me to keep moving forward on that straight and narrow path. On this road with Jesus at the wheel, I will be a willing passenger and lucky for Paul, I won’t take any hostages this time.

In His Love,

Joanne Kraft
Guest Contributor

Joanne Kraft writes from her home in Northern California, where she lives with her husband Paul and their four children. If she is not in her garden, or shopping at thrift stores, you can find her at her blog “Blessed…” at www.onesoblessed.blogspot.com