Laced With Grace

I’ve suffered from this condition most of my life. A condition that I am still learning to live with. I desire to control things. Lots of things. Not just big things, but little things, important things, and even not so important things. I try and give God a hand, all the time.

Hello, my name is Joanne and I am a recovering control freak.

From what my children wear, who they will hang out with, where they will go to college, what they will eat, to what political party they will subscribe to. Day or night, no time is sacred for my controlling binges.

One thing I’ve learned – people who need to control everything do so out of fear.

Sure, as a mom, there are some things I need to be in control of, but there are more things that I need to let go of. Trying to control and be in control of everything only seems to make me stressed and anxious. I am a flesh and bones creation attempting to do God’s job.

My oldest child is a Senior in high school this year. She’s trying to figure out where she wants to go to college. Being a recovering control freak means that I am trying very hard not to help her and God out too much with this decision. I’m praying very hard against anxiety and fear, and I am attempting to surrender it all to the Lord and feel His peace.

I want desperately to grow in my walk with Him. This means allowing God to handle the cares of my life. Remembering God’s promise to cast my cares upon Him because He cares for me. This is often a day to day, sometimes moment by moment decision.

“Jesus Take the Wheel” is a great country song. But, friends, Jesus doesn’t only want to take the wheel, He doesn’t want me anywhere near the front seat.

And, controlling backseat drivers aren’t allowed either!

“Cast your cares upon Him, because He cares for you.” 1Peter 5:7

Anyone feel as though they are out on the raging sea of life in a leaky life boat and trying to bail water with a sieve?

Life right now with all its challenges, heartaches, pain, illnesses, trials, sorrows and despair is extremely difficult and stressful to say the least. I know firsthand what it’s like to feel as though you are sinking fast with no hope in sight. Sometimes we think that to be able to just survive in this world is enough; but our Lord has promised us LIFE… and have it more abundantly.

I had spent several years homebound, racked in chronic pain and illness taking dozens of prescription medications on a daily basis all having their toll on me physically, mentally, and spiritually. There even was a time I prayed to the Lord that if I was not going to be healed, “then please Lord, take my life!” Out of shear desperation and I’m sure the leading of the Holy Spirit, I opened my bible and glanced down at the passage of scripture in Psalm 42.

As I began to read, I came to verse 4, “My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be….” ‘Yes, Lord, I certainly can relate.’ I continued to read, I came to verse 5, “Why am I discouraged? Why so sad?” I stopped right there and I said to myself and to the Lord, ‘Well let’s see…there is….’ And I started to list all the things that had me discouraged and that I was battling at the time. After I was finished venting on the Lord and telling Him how disappointed I was in Him, I continued to read the verse, “I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God!” ‘What did I just read?’ I continued to read, “Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember your kindness..” I stopped again. I thought to myself, ‘Hum, I need to contemplate on this a while.’ I really didn’t want to think about God’s loving kindness; after all, I did not feel that He had been very loving and kind to me for quite some time now. Then I felt this knot in the pit of my stomach and a yearning in my heart, the next thing I knew I began remembering His kindness toward me! This brought comfort to me along with reassuring thoughts of God’s love and kindness.

David, man after God’s own heart showed me that I can be real with God, share my bitterness, rejection, pain and sorrow openly with God. Yes, the darkness, deep depression and pain had overwhelmed me. But I was reminded once again that though I cannot still the winds of adversity and waves of grief and pain; I know the One who can calm the raging sea– And even while in the midst of my pain and grief, the God of my life, the Rock of my Salvation has not forsaken me because I have made His tender mercies, everlasting truth, and mighty power my Refuge. As the psalmist reminded me as he repeated his thoughts in verse 11, “Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God!” My mind thought of what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 94:19, “When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” With tears streaming down my cheeks, I chose right then, even though I was still in the midst of the storms of life, I will put my hope and trust in my God and my Savior – I chose to praise Him again, I chose not to be just a survivor, but to THRIVE in whatever state I am in, because my God has brought me life, and to have it more abundantly! (John 10:10).

Dear gracious heavenly Father, if there is someone who is reading this today, and feels like I did, that their hope is gone, and they are discouraged by the challenges and trials of this life; may they be comforted by your Word and loving kindness. May they say as the psalmist wrote, “Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God!” May they find renewed strength and hope in YOU.  In Jesus precious name, Amen.

“So I pray that God, who gives you Hope, will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in Him.  May you overflow with Hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13

This devotion is taken from my devotional serries THRIVE, to view previous devotions on THRIVE, please view my blog and click THRIVE.

Beelieve You Can… THRIVE!

http://michele-risingabove.blogspot.com