Laced With Grace

January 12, 2003

I remember the day so clearly. I was a little over 10 weeks pregnant with our first child. It was a Sunday, and we were at a fellowship lunch after morning church services. I went to the bathroom and was shocked to see I was spotting. I remember the fear I felt and how I tried to stay calm, how I told myself it’s okay, it’s probably nothing. I told my husband, and we quickly finished eating and went home. I called my Mom and tried to search online for answers. I just wanted to crawl in bed and make it all go away. I prayed over and over that everything was fine and that the spotting was just nothing. I was so scared though. I stayed in bed most of the day, and my Mom came to visit, to be supportive and give us a hug. My heart hurt as we prayed and hoped our baby was okay.

The next morning my husband took me to the local emergency room. I don’t know why I didn’t go see my regular doctor, but there I was feeling so sad and scared, not really wanting to find out what was wrong but at the same time needing to know. My heart hurt as we went through the examination and the ultrasound, followed by the news that we had lost our baby. I was having a miscarriage. I lay on the table crying as my husband stepped out of the room to call to tell the sad news to my Mom.

I remember in the following days just feeling as if I was just going through the motions of life. My Mom stayed with me a few days while I recovered physically. I dreaded going back to my classroom. I remember when I did go back how it felt so foreign. My world as I knew it had stopped for four days, and now here I was back in the classroom where I was supposed to act normal and go on with my life. Nothing was the same for me though. I didn’t know how to go on at first.

Nine years ago. So much has happened in that time, and I still sometimes will wonder about that baby. I have always felt that God had a reason and a purpose, just like He does with everything we go through. Up until that point I had never been through such a loss in my life. I had no idea the pain that can be associated with a miscarriage and didn’t really know that many women who had faced a loss. Now when I hear of someone who lost a baby my heart hurts for them, and I’m taken back to that time nine years ago.

I am thankful for how God used those 10 short weeks with our baby to change my heart forever. Through our loss, God taught me to depend on Him. I learned some things that are not appropriate or beneficial to say to someone who is hurting. I learned that carefully chosen caring words are so helpful. I learned how much it means to get a kind note or email, even months down the road. I learned that you never know what someone is going through or what kind of day they are having.

God used our loss to help change my heart to be more compassionate for the hurting. It is my prayer that I can offer comfort to others who are hurting in their lives whether it be due to miscarriage or something else.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Have a day of blessings!

Today I have a question for you. During this busy time of year, what fruit are you displaying in your life?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22, 23

I was out doing some errands and shopping this week. As I look back on my busy day, it is easy to think of examples of times when one could become aggravated, annoyed, unhappy, etc. Lines are longer than usual. Parking lots are fuller than on normal weekdays. All of the shopping carts are taken. Stores are overcrowded with extra gift displays making it hard to maneuver through the aisles. Kids are whining and past ready to go home.

Is it easy to be joyful when you find a parking spot only to have someone else turn and get that spot ahead of you? Is it easy to be patient when there are only two registers open and five people standing in line at each one? Is it easy to be loving to the fellow shoppers who are rude and impatient?

Remember that we can’t be different on our own. On our own we will grumble, complain, and gripe just like everyone else. If we act just like all the other shoppers, what kind of example are we setting?  There are so many opportunities for us to shine for Jesus during the Christmas season.  It is only by the Spirit living in us that these fruit will become evident.  What better time than at Christmas to share His love, joy, and peace with those around us!

I encourage you to check your attitude often (both when you are out shopping AND when you are at home with your family). What fruit are you displaying this Christmas?

Merry Christmas!  Have a day of blessings!

I have been listening to a wonderful audio book (Courageous Living Dare to Take a Stand by Michael Catt). As I was listening today a verse was read that really caught my attention. I looked it up later in my Bible and have been pondering it this afternoon.

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.” Psalm 119:37

I got to thinking about all the worthless things we see day after day. Books, magazines, television shows, advertisements, video games, internet sites, movies….the list goes on and on. How many times are we not even aware of what our eyes are seeing?

If you read the previous verse (Psalm 119:36), it says:

“Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.”

Our hearts need to be turned toward God and His ways. If our eyes are looking at worthless things, our hearts will end up thinking of those things instead of the things of God. I think the enemy likes for us to look at worthless things because they often seem so harmless to us at first. But don’t those worthless things take our attention off of God? Satan will put any distraction in front of us to get our focus off of God and our relationship with Him. I see this more and more in our society as people go crazy for certain actors, athletes, movies, and books. It concerns me greatly to see this fanaticism as well as how people don’t see anything wrong with their dedication (or is it addiction?) to these worthless things.

May our prayer today be that God will turn our eyes away from worthless things and turn our hearts toward Him.

Have a day of blessings!