Laced With Grace

My eighteen-year-old daughter Meghan, recently bought herself a new car. She was looking forward to taking me for a spin around the neighborhood. I climbed into “Abby” and it wasn’t long before we were out in some wide open spaces, enjoying the crisp afternoon.

As Meg started climbing up a hill, she nervously began to grind her gears and ride her breaks. The thick smell of burning brake pad soon filled the tiny car. “Meghan, what the…”

“Mom! I don’t need your help. I have had a stick-shift before!”

Her fear fueled her anger, which fueled mine. Once, we were driving again on flat roads I asked her, “What was that all about back there!? Why are you mad at me?”

“Mom, you get me nervous.” she stated matter-of-factly. Her eyes staring straight ahead.

“I get you nervous? Seriously?! But, I barely said a word.” I wondered if she was using me as her excuse for her poor driving performance back there.

“I can’t explain it Mom. You get me nervous.”

To my oldest child, my presence was powerful in her midnight blue Elantra. I had no idea. Words didn’t need to be spoken for her to know I was sitting in the front seat beside her. I couldn’t help but think about how as Christians we bring an invisible presence wherever we go. Most of the time we don’t even realize it. A mighty presence of the Holy Spirit, Christ in us. A sweet perfume to some, the scent of death to others. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. 2Cor. 2:15-16

One of my sister’s doesn’t enjoy the company of our family. As much as we laugh when we’re together and enjoy playing board games together with our families, it never seems to go much farther than that. We live only a few minutes from each other and rarely see one another. She no longer attends church or is interested in Bible studies. I no longer talk to her about it. I take my prayers to the Lord. I’ve often wondered if the reason she doesn’t want to spend time with me is because of the fragrance of Christ.

My daughter Meghan was becoming irritated with an unbelieving relative who was asking intrusive questions about her and her boyfriend. Meghan shared with this person that her and her boyfriend were praying about their relationship. Once the Lord and prayer were brought into the conversation this relative couldn’t get off of the phone fast enough. I wonder if she smelled something!?

As a believer in Christ, the Holy Spirit dwells inside of me and will permeate every bit of space I occupy. To some I may smell like a warm vanilla-spice candle, welcoming and comforting. But, to those who are perishing,  the stench I carry with me will burn the nostrils in an unpleasant way. Not always will I be received with open arms. Not always will my own family wish to spend time with me. And for no apparent reason at all, people may not like being around me. I’m learning to be OK with that.

Lord Jesus, help my heart. I want so much to be included and liked, especially by those I love. Help me to understand there is a spiritual fragance I bring into a room. You experienced torture and crucifixion for me. Help me to bear the stench I am to those who are perishing. Remind me it isn’t me at all, but you they can’t bear to be around. Then, help me to live a life that brings you glory. One that helps point others to you. I love you so much Jesus.

“And these are the ones by the wayside where the word is sown. When they hear, Satan come immediately and takes away the word that was sown in their heart. Mark 4:15 NKJV

One of the many loving terms of endearment my husband has given me is, “Bright-shiny-thing.” As a child, I grew up infamous for being distracted by any bright and shiny thing that came along. I still struggle with this affliction. I have the attention span of a gnat. Do you remember that mosquito from the movie, “A Bugs Life”? You know the scene, when he’s drawn to the bug zapper? While his friends frantically yell out their warnings to him, “No, Harry, No, don’t look at the light!” Hypnotized, he’s unable to pull away. “I can’t help it… it’s so beautiful…” His weakness to distraction becomes his fatal mistake.
Just like the mosquito, I suffer from this chronic disease I like to call, the attraction of distraction. Sadly, this weakness of the flesh, affects my spiritual life in big ways too. No matter how heartfelt my desire to be in the Word, before my feet even hit the ground, I can be distracted almost immediately. I would love to say that these distractions are of dire importance, that my attention to these matters hold life and death in the balance. Ahem, well, not exactly.
A phone call, a song on the radio, an email from a friend, thoughts about what to make for dinner, “Should I keep my hair short or long this summer?”, are sometimes all it takes to pull me away from my time with the Lord. These distractions work their way in, taking from me the chance to know Him a little bit better and to be prepared for whatever He has for my day.
The scripture above, “And these are the ones by the wayside where the word is sown. They that hear, Satan comes immediately and takes away the word that was sown in their hearts.” Mark 4:15 NKJV, is from the parable of the sower. This verse almost screamed out to me from the pages of my Bible today. “ Satan comes immediately and takes away…” were the words that my eyes kept going back to. I dug a little bit deeper and found out that the words “takes away” come from the Greek word ???? (air?) which means to take away what is attached, or my favorite, to take away from another what is his, or what is committed to him.
Satan doesn’t waste one second. Distraction is not an affliction he will ever suffer from. It is his goal to distract us. He has his missiles locked and loaded. The moment He knows that our ears are ready to hear God’s Word, the very second the Lord’s promises for us begin to take root, the enemy uses his nuclear warfare we call distractions to take away what is attached to our heart. Satan does his best to tear away the promises that are ours and distract us from the promises that the Lord has committed to each one of us. What we think are just the mundane day to day things that come up, Satan uses to advance his position. His joyous mission – to keep us from growing and maturing into the godly people we are called to be.
I now keep a Bible right beside my bed. The Lord sits beside me as I spend time with Him, while the enemy hides in the shadows waiting to pounce like a roaring lion for the kill, and take away His Word from my heart. The enemy may threaten me by attempting to take away, but I belong to the One who gives and gives abundantly. All I need to do is ask.
For now, I will be asking for my walk to be steadfast and unwavering. His Word will strengthen my perseverance to overcome any bright lights sent to distract, and will be my holy bug spray, aimed and ready to zap any mosquitoes I see along the way.

Our youngest son Samuel has a few passions. One of those passions is “Star Wars”.  It’s not uncommon to find Samuel pretending to be Luke Skywalker with his sister and friends in tow. Samuel and his friends love to have their light sabers attached to their belt loops as they run all around the house. Thanks to my six year old son, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader have never been in such daunting situations.

Yesterday, while the children were playing in our bonus room, Samuel decided to try to copy a move he once saw Luke Skywalker make, a forward flip in the air with light saber in hand. What he ended up doing was a forward flop in the air, landing on his light saber with his head. He performed this stunt in front of an audience of six-year-olds and eight-year-olds. He bled quite a bit, but thankfully, he didn’t need stitches.

What he did do was learn a valuable lesson…he is no Luke Skywalker.

It reminded me of a Bible study I did with my teenage daughter Meghan and her girlfriend this summer.The question posed stuck with me. “If you were living your life on a stage, who would be in your audience?”

I can tell you who is often in my own audience. From time to time it’s my husband Paul.  Often times, it’s friends, family, neighbors, and people at church I’m up onstage for.

As Christians we should only be concerned about playing in front of an audience of one.

Jesus is sitting in the front row waiting to give each one of us a standing ovation. He is watching us front and center, waiting to cheer us on. He loves us so. As adults we can fall into the same traps that our children fall into…trying to impress people.

It took a light saber and my adorable mini-Luke Skywalker, to remind me that there are no repeat performances in life. I’m going to make sure today that I’m living my life for an audience of one.

I want that standing ovation.

…and lo, I am with you always even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20

Lord, forgive me for keeping my eyes on others and their responses. Help me to keep my eyes focused on you, and remind me through your word and your gentle nudgings, that you are the only audience I’m standing before of each day. Give me ears so I can hear you clapping for me.