Laced With Grace

Without the strength of Christ, this is my post:

I am not a writer.

The End.

Not very impressive, I know.

Philipians 4:13

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

That verse is what gets me through each and every post I write for Laced With Grace. I wish I could tell you that writing comes naturally for me but it doesn’t. I wish I had thousands of potential posts brewing in my head just waiting to be written. Alas, I don’t. Every couple of weeks it’s just me, sitting here at my computer, praying about sharing my love for Jesus in a way that’s sincere and doesn’t require a decoder ring.

Philipians 4:13 gets me through my writer’s block. Now that I think about it, that verse gets me through a heap of stumbling blocks both large and small. There is so much I do in my life that is all Him and one of them is my writing here. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be writing for a Christian Devotional site. Every time I’m called to write I wonder “Why me? What have I got to say?” Last night I thought about what I wanted to write and I broke down crying, completely overwhelmed that I am writing for you. It burns my eyes just thinking about it.

I’m going to share with you that I don’t know why I’m here. I’m not a writer. I’m not. I just love the Lord so much and feel so blessed by what He continues to do in my life that I feel like shouting it from the mountain tops! I don’t consider myself strong but then I read Philipians 4:13 and know that I am when I call on Jesus to stand by my side!

Heavenly Father, I am nothing without you. You inspire me to share the joy that you have placed in my heart and soul. Whenever I think I can’t do something, You give me the strength to accomplish the impossible. Thank you, Lord, thank you.
Amen.

I received some incredible news last Friday. We got word that we would get our referral and see a photo of our new child in early September. Yes! We will finally know who our baby is and be able to bring her home from China in November. Let me tell ya, this news had me jumping for joy!

Well, by Saturday, I was stricken with doubt, anxiety, stress, and worry.

Didn’t take long did it? Once again, I was back in that all-too-familiar pit of despair worrying about what could go wrong.

Matthew 6:27
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

After spending so many years on the rollercoaster of secondary infertility and adoption, I am trained to guard my heart by immediately preparing myself for disappointment. Call it “Terri’s Pessimist Mode.” Anyone that’s had difficulty keeping a pregnancy can relate to seeing a positive sign and then anticipating its dissipation. Anxiety floods in as you realize you have no control. You sweat. You cry. You make yourself sick. With this adoption there has been so many ups and downs (mostly downs), pessimist mode is always lurking in the shadows. I convinced myself that the good news is just too good to be true. Better not feel joy…just in case.

I’ve learned through prayer and experience the only certain antidote to pessimism is to get into the Word of God. BELIEVE!

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I may be a poor role model to lead this discussion since I always seem to take one step forward then two steps back. Yet, I thank God for granting me the strength, courage and stamina to peel myself off the floor each time I fall. I praise Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior for once again pulling me out of the pit of despair. Once again shining His light on me. Once again inspiring friends and family to pray for me.

It is only because of Him that I am where I am, about to see my baby with a feeling of intense gratitude, no anger or bitterness, only unmitigated JOY!

1 Peter 1:8

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.

God has laid on my heart that there is someone out there (maybe it’s you?) that is lonely and is possibly intimidated about this blogging community. My heart aches for any sense of pain you may be experiencing. Please know that there are so many wonderful and caring women in this circle of the blogosphere that would be blessed if you reached out to them.

I’m very shy and I found that I had to pray to Jesus and specifically ask Him for the courage to step out of my comfort zone so could I reach out to strangers. I started by commenting on a few blogs that I felt a connection with, usually with a question so that the blogger would write back and if they didn’t, I was suddenly okay with that. I knew I had to make the first move and I was always glad I did, reply or no reply. Each time I commented, it got easier and easier.

I want you to know that I know what it’s like to sit on the sidelines, not sure if I should put myself out there. I know what it’s like to feel inferior and not as “Christian” as some of the other bloggers. I know what it’s like to be embarrassed and insecure. I’m here to tell you that Jesus will give you the courage to get past all of that and reach out to others. I’m here to tell you that you will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams when you do!

2 Cor 1:3-4 (NNAS) “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Lord, we pray to you to help us open our hearts to those readers who may need a friend. Please give them courage to contact us and give them patience when we don’t respond as quickly as we would like to.

May we all be blessed by reaching out to others and use this community to spread the good news of the Gospel!