Laced With Grace

Ignore the bad lighting— I swear I have eyebrows;) And don’t usually squint quite that much!But- I’m NEVER in any pics.. and was glad a neighbor offered to take one on Mothers Day!

“What makes life on this frightful sod so exquisite is God’s merciful propensity to perform divine tasks amid deeply flawed people.”
~ Beth Moore, LPM Blog ~

It doesn’t make sense. Totally illogical. When I write up the “stats” on my life, I probably wouldn’t trust myself to wash dishes, let alone raise 3 incredible sons, be wife to a great man, or write ANYTHING, except maybe a grocery list- and that- I’d wonder about.

The stats:

Parents Divorced (When I was 16, the divorce rate for adult-children of divorce is extremely high)
Experienced Abuse
Dad a recovering substance abuser. (multiple addictions- alcohol to cocaine, praise God he’s been sober for over 18 years!)
Poor choices during teen years.
Probable learning ability issues with writing. (handwriting- not legible.)
ADD- un diagnosed.
Speech Impediment during elementary years. (I can, however- now say the mantra of my elementary years…”She sells sea shells by the sea shore!” )
Pride issues. (yes there will be a theme here;)
A need (ok, a strong desire) to be “right.”
Immaturity.
Insecurity.
A tendancy towards both avoidance and escalation, of conflict.
Perfectionism.

This is the “very short” list of my “deep flaws.” I’ll spare you the gory details.

Sometimes I feel like “Dr Spock” trying to understand the “illogical” processes of Captain Kirk. We used to watch Star Trek on Sunday afternoons, while eating dinner in front of the TV. I loved Dr Spock. (I know the rest of you loved Captain Kirk- you can have him) Sadly, Dr Spock was often confused by Captain Kirk. Usually when it came to emotions. Issues not of logic, but of love.

I can relate, as, I’m often, admittedly, confused by God, usually on the same types of issues. Sunday was Mother’s Day, and it made me think about what an amazing and holy, calling I have. A calling to care for, train and mentor 3 young men, (my sons) and to minister to the needs of an amazing man, my husband. It also made me think of my “stats.” And how those don’t exactly add up to a resume fit for a Mom, let alone, a writer.

But, here I am. Imperfect. Flawed. Messy, even. Good thing He doesn’t call me, then leave me to do the tasks. He does them through me, when I let Him.

One of our family traditions (My husband’s idea, actually) is to verbally “bless” someone on their special day (Birthdays- etc). We each share some thought, memory or story that is meaningful and communicates what we think of that person. (Ummmmm “you cook good dinners” is a fallback- freebee for me….)

This Sunday, my family shared things about me. I nearly cried. It wasn’t my list of flaws, that they listed. It was things God has done in and through me. Like being patient and understanding. (When I am naturally impatient and inflexible) Listening, (I’m a talker- not so much a listener. Somedays, I even wonder why God bothered giving me ears- (I don’t use ‘em much) They called me “Loving”. When I’m actually, naturally critical. Although they see and know my flaws, that isn’t what they experience. They experience God through me. Amazing.

Totally illogical. Totally God’s mercy. God’s complete doing. If my kids survive my mothering- and become adults that honor Him and have some semblance of health, it will have very little to do with me- and EVERYTHING to do with Him.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

“Dear Jesus- I’m a mess- the stat’s aren’t good. If I were doing the choosing- I’d pick someone else, someone better qualified for the tasks before me. Yet- you choose me, deep flaws and all. Thank you God- for the amazing honor of serving you in and out of my home. I ask you to perform these divine tasks- through me. I love you, Lord- amen!”

For more participants in CWO’s In Other Words Meme- Stop By Laurel’s blog, she’s our host this week!

“When God is involved, anything can happen. Be open and stay that way. God has a beautiful way of bringing good vibrations out of broken chords.”

~ Chuck Swindoll~

“Plink! Plunk! Clink! Clunk!” I spent hours in my grandparents basement, sheet music spread before me, like an ancient scroll in a language I couldn’t read, pounding my skinny little fingers on the piano’s keys. I had the “moves” down, but not the skills. I copied the moves I saw on TV. (A shout out to Sesame Street, Lawrence Welk…for providing my my introduction to “fine” music) I posed in front of the piano, looking, I’m sure, like a miniature concert pianist, trying to “will” music to come from the huge instrument. For good measure- I ocassionally slid my back-side off the edge of the piano bench, stretching my legs to press the pedals. “Maybe that’s what it needs” I thought. Nope. Music didn’t come, noise, however, did.

Years of sitting in the cold, damp basement had yielded an out of tune piano. Years of neglect- had left a few keys to make only a dull “thump”. Broken cords. Even sliding my fingers in a pseudo-scale didn’t quite sound right. But, there I sat, plunking away. Trying to make music. The cards were stacked against me.

Every once in a while, my mom would come downstairs. She’d sit down beside me, put her hands to the keys and I’d be amazed. “Heart and Soul” would erupt from the tired, old, piano. My mom had skills. She’d had “lessons”. (Well, she remembered how to play one song, anyway!) Whenever my mom came downstairs- I moved over on the bench and let her take over. Even on the old broken piano, my mom made music. It was magic.

Sometimes, I feel like an old broken, out of tune piano. (I’m either getting old or going blonde one hair at a time! I feel like parts of my life have broken keys and are way out of tune. I keep trying to make music with it… but all that comes out is a disharmonic “Plink! Plunk! Plank!” No amount of posing or posturing helps.

Fortunately-like in my Grandparents’ basement, I don’t sit on the piano bench of my life alone. I sit on the lap of the concert pianist. One who can play any instrument with ease, in and out of tune- even tuning and fixing keys as He plays. Writing new songs to replace old ones. I learned from my mom- that in order to hear the music I longed for, I had to let someone else play. Someone with skills.

God is that someone.

“When God is involved, anything can happen. Be open and stay that way. God has a beautiful way of bringing good vibrations out of broken chords.”

~ Chuck Swindoll~

Are you sitting on the piano bench alone? Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, all you can make is noise of your life? Are there broken keys and out of tune notes in your life? Do you long for music?

Then scoot over— let Him play. He’ll tune- refine and create music- even on the most dilapidated instrument.

“Dear Jesus- you are the concert pianist- you can make music from the high and low notes- even the dischordant notes can become beautiful music under your touch. God- I pray that you’d help us to climb into your lap, and let you play the notes of our life. amen”

Roman’s 8 28-30
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. “

We all have rough notes in our lives- the verse above doesn’t promise a life without trouble. Only that when faced with trouble- God will bring good things out of it. He will make the music from our mess.

For other takes on todays’ “In Other Words” quote- please visit Loni @ Joy in The Morning

Please leave your prayer requests and pray for others listed in the comments- or on our prayer page. This week one of our sisters at “Faith Lifts” has been facing some serious ones…. please join us in prayer- for Heather.

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”
~ Charles Spurgeon ~

“Puff. Puff. Puff. Slap. Slap. Slap.” The sound of my running. In slow motion. Every race was the same. I came in near, or at the bottom. Last place- yep, that was my special spot. I ran “Cross Country” all three years of high-school. *Go Rockets!* And, I was awful. 3.1 miles of SLOOOOOW. Let’s just say I didn’t uphold our team name of “JG Rockets”.

Training was rough. Somedays we ran timed runs, as far as you can in 45 minutes. (Or, until you puke… I suppose.. not very pleasant to talk about.) Somedays we sprinted laps on the track. Fine- except for one thing. Cross Country season coincided with football season. That meant we literally ran circles around the football players. Which is where I earned the nick-name. “Slow-mo.” (Not exactly how a teenaged girl wants to be noticed by the football team!) Apparently, it looked like I was running in slow-motion. I was that bad.

At the end of the season in my senior year- we had our “Banquet.”
A fine tradition that includes typically shorts clad, sweaty team-mates wearing “dress clothes” and receiving awards before their assembled families and friends. I loved my team- so I went, but being the slowest member on the team- I wasn’t looking forward to any awards.

I was shocked when, near the end of the night, our coach started talking about the most improved runner. “She works hard and finishes her races- that’s what matters” I was shocked when he called my name. I blushed- (I didn’t even know Italian girls COULD blush) and I went forward- to accept my award. I couldn’t believe it. Sure- I knew I wasn’t always dead last anymore- but most improved? My coach admired my perseverance. I was stunned. My team mates clapped. I still have my Varsity letter- and nearly every “Number” I wore in a race. Sadly my times are written on the backs- not exactly impressive;) Although- I mostly wear running shoes at the grocery store, now.

There are days- as a Christian, where I feel like I have the same nick-name. “Slow-mo.” Some days I feel like everyone else runs the race of Christianity faster, better, more gracefully. I feel like I’m just… plain… slow. I don’t “get” things that others seem to easily understand. My life doesn’t always line up with what God desires. Other people’s families and ministries seem so much more honoring to God. On those days, I feel like a snail in the race of Christianity. Not like I’m racing against others- but that we’re on the same team… and I’m so much slower.

Then, I remember, Cross country. Finishing the race is what matters.

The bible says that God- “knows we are dust” and “sympathizes” with our weaknesses. He knows I’m slow-weak. And, best of all? He loves me anyways.

At the end of this life- I imagine that Jesus will be there to catch me as I fall across the finish line. Maybe I’ll be the slowest runner ever- but He’ll be there- cheering for me. Because I finished the race. By perseverance- this snail will reach the ark of His presence. I hope you’ll run along with me. I’ll be cheering for you, too! As is He, and ready to catch you when your fall- or cross the finish line!

Acts 20:24
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

Dear Jesus- life is hard- sometimes it feels like running uphill- all the time… sometimes it feels like I’m stumbling downhill- almost falling beause I can’t keep up with my feet- but- Lord- mostly I just feel slow. I don’t understand so much there is to know about you, I don’t live in a way that wins races or you… I am slow. Help me keep running Jesus- straight into your arms. Jesus- Help me cheer on others who feel slow. When I cross that finish line Lord- I hope I hear YOU say I finshed my race and that’s what mattered. I love you Lord- amen.

For more takes on todays CWO “In Other Words” Quote- Please visit Iris’s blog at “Sting my Heart”