Laced With Grace

Over the weekend I returned to my childhood home.

My daughter and I flew from Southern California to Salt Lake City. I hadn’t been back to where I grew up to visit my old friends for more than 30 years.

Thirty years.

Although we stayed in touch with our friend and they visited our new home, it has been a very long time to wait for me to return home.

This weekend we all gathered at my BFF Michelle’s house to celebrate her parent’s 50th wedding anniversary.

Fifty years.

It was a surprise party and boy howdy, what a surprise. Her parents had no idea people were coming from everywhere to honor their life-long commitment to one another.

Hysterical laughter filled the weekend as we recounted our crazy childhood antics. In fact, I was reminded about how I often got the whole gang into trouble of some kind or another due to my mischievous nature and curiosity and wild imagination. Sheesh!

Oh but did we ever have fun. Tons of fun.

We all traveled to Millcreek Canyon for a barbeque. When we were little, our mothers would load the car with sandwiches, Kool-Aid, and six kids and take us on a picnic in the beautiful Rocky Mountains. We went every week on Wednesdays during the summer. So in honor of those times we trekked up the mountain again as adults with our adult and near-adult children joining in the tradition. It is a legacy that thrills my heart.

As I sat on the picnic bench chatting, I moved closer to Rosie, whose wedding anniversary we celebrate. I asked her an important question. I said, “Rosie, you know that I write about marriage, so please tell me, what is the secret to a successful 50 year marriage?”

She grinned, paused, looked me in the eye, and then spoke words of wisdom that will forever lie upon my heart. She said several things make a marriage successful such as patience and perseverance. But what she said next was profound.

She said, “You need a sense of humor.”

And how right she is. Can you imagine how different our lives could be if we choose to laugh instead of criticize? What peace we might obtain if we look for humor in a stressful situation. What would happen in our relationship if we elect to tickle the funny bone instead of feed our anger when accidents happen? We need to laugh at ourselves and laugh along with our spouse and their crazy moments, at circumstances, with our kids…….. at life.

This very day, let’s choose to bring and GIANT sense of humor into our marriages and watch as it displaces disappointment, unforgivness and bitterness.

So today, I share these words of wisdom with you straight from a woman who has 50 years of experience, four children, and six grandchildren. Her family and friends testify to this truth, Rosie quietly impacted so many, many lives for the good.

I am one of them.

Laughter can cure many ills, tear down walls and repair what sometimes appears hopeless. Our Lord, is a God of joy and I know He has a sense of humor. Let His grace, love and humor be the glue in your marriage and watch as you also quietly bless those around you and behold the abundant riches which come from a lifetime commitment to your spouse.

Be blessed, Lynn
Find me daily at

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab our back.

I saw this quote a while back and thought to myself, how true.

Most of you know I write about my marriage to my unsaved husband. I began writing after God healed me from my disappointments in life. But, it was only after many years of fruitless living.

Because I wasted so many years wandering like the Israelites in the dessert, longing for the Promised Land, I am compelled to help others escape the desert at their earliest opportunity. The desert landscape can be a marriage, a prodigal child, chronic illness, bad neighbors, unemployment.

We each face struggles that God allows because He is busily crafting our character to Christ’s likeness. But for me, I languished for way too many years in the land of envy.

Envy: A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.

I looked around and saw husbands who attended church with his wife and children.
~I wanted that.
I knew husbands who read their Bible, regularly.
~I wanted that.
I knew husbands who actually prayed with their wife…. Every day…
~I soooooo wanted that.

Envy is a waste of time.

Mate comparison is a toxic occupation and one I must continually surrender to Christ. I spent way too many years in the comparison camp, pining with envy.

Over the years I have discovered that behind every marriage is a relationship. There is a private relationship between a man and a woman that no one else sees. I have yet to meet a married couple who hasn’t struggled in their marriage at one time or another.

Just recently on my blog, I lamented about a disappointment in my marriage. I felt justified in my dissatisfaction and therefore was completely humbled when this comment arrived:

Your story made me pause… I had just celebrated a precious date with my husband of 8 years.. He said he loved me more than when we first met. Chris told me, that I was a great wife and perfect mother for our girls, ages 2, 4, and 6.. Three days later he was in a plane crash and God took him home………That was 12 years ago. I lost my husband and best friend that day… So please ladies take time to enjoy that husband of yours…. God is in control and he just wants us to SIMPLY TRUST him.. When we fret that is the enemy trying to steal our joy……..peace and hugs to you all. Kathy

Gulp!

God gave me a wonderful man. Not perfect but neither am I.

When we start down that road of comparison and envy is tapping us on the shoulder, we must take those thoughts captive to Christ and remember what rich blessings we already have. God wastes nothing and although it may appear life is unfair, we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28 (NIV)

So hang on to your problems because I can guarantee if we could see what others are dealing with, we would, in deed, grab ours back.

Thank you for sharing a few minutes with me. I would love to pray for you. Visit me at spirituallyunequalmarriage.com. Be blessed, Lynn
Find me daily at

This is perhaps one of the most significant life changing verses in the Bible for me in recent years. I desired, no, I NEEDED revival in my life. A total transformation was needed in order to be set free from the bondage of my past.

It became necessary for me to become totally transparent with myself and others. The Lord began to work in my life. I appeared to be like an onion in the hands of a Master Chef. He peeled back layers of sin that stood in the way of intimacy with Him.

My ultimate goal in this process was to have the Lord in His proper place in my life. I needed Him to move me out of the way so He could have first place in my life. It was (is) a painful process. It will not be over until He calls me home and I am no longer in the presence of sin.

As I read John chapter 3 this morning, I thought it to be a beautiful picture of being contrite and lowly. I had never actually looked at it through that lens before. John 3:1-21 I was reminded of His finished work on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin. I could do nothing to remove myself out from under this penalty. I could not ascend into heaven on my own good merits, but rather He had to humble Himself and come down to redeem me. When I received Christ as my Savior, when I believed He paid the penalty price for all my sin, I became justified in His sight. The past was reconciled. I could now have a relationship with Him.

But for years that relationship had a barrier. I wanted to be close to Him but I kept falling prey to the same traps. The daily sanctification process, the process of being freed from the power of sin in the here and now, was being hindered by someone very close to me. Someone who had (and still has) great influence in my life. This person stood in the way of me having a close relationship with the Lord.

That person is me. My will has to be broken. My will has to be humbled. My will has to be decreased so He can be increased – high and lifted up in my life. John 3:30,31 says it so clearly, “He must increase, but I must decrease. He who comes from above is above all, he who is of the earth is from the earth and speaks of the earth. He who comes from heaven is above all.” I must be moved out of the way so He can be increased and seen in my life. I must decrease so He can have His way in me and be glorified.

John 3:36 sums up the ultimate reward of this process we call glorification – that moment when we will be removed from the presence of sin. “He who believes in the Son has (possesses now) eternal life.” We receive that promise of eternal life when we receive Christ as Savior. We are sealed by His Spirit of promise (Ephesians 1:113,14). That promise is eternal life with Him.

During this time of sanctification, I need to be reminded daily of my need for Him in my life. More of Him and less of me. I need to daily pray:

Move Me Out of the Way, Lord

I run to the front

To take the control

But in the end

It’s harm to my soul.

I must be in charge

I think I know best

“It’s my life,” I say.

I’m leading the quest.

Who knows me better

Than I know me

Though you look

You do not see.

There’s only one

Who truly sees me

He knows who I am

And who I could be.

The author and finisher

Of my holy faith

The love of my life

He receives all my praise.

He truly sees me

The intent of my heart

He understands all

He sees not in part.

The depth of His love
For this wretched (wo)man

It boggles my mind

So I don’t understand.

Why I insist

On running my life

When in the end

It cuts like a knife.

When I look upon

The wreckage I’ve wrought

It all came to ruin

It all came to naught.

It’s come to the point

Where All I can say

Is move me, dear Lord

Move ME out of the way.

Make me decrease

Make me small

Make me, in the end

The least of all.

Subdue my ego

O’ Lord bind my pride

Have your way, Father

Just move me aside.

To you be the glory

Creator of life

The Author of peace

Moderator of strife.

Flesh cries to be seen

Pride desires to be known

But I know the glory

Is Yours alone.

So, Lord hear my plea and answer me true.

Keep me from running ahead of You.

Move me to the rear, drive me to my knees.

Lead me to the light, move me Father, please.

~ Poem by: Norris K. Oler~