Laced With Grace

January 12, 2003

I remember the day so clearly. I was a little over 10 weeks pregnant with our first child. It was a Sunday, and we were at a fellowship lunch after morning church services. I went to the bathroom and was shocked to see I was spotting. I remember the fear I felt and how I tried to stay calm, how I told myself it’s okay, it’s probably nothing. I told my husband, and we quickly finished eating and went home. I called my Mom and tried to search online for answers. I just wanted to crawl in bed and make it all go away. I prayed over and over that everything was fine and that the spotting was just nothing. I was so scared though. I stayed in bed most of the day, and my Mom came to visit, to be supportive and give us a hug. My heart hurt as we prayed and hoped our baby was okay.

The next morning my husband took me to the local emergency room. I don’t know why I didn’t go see my regular doctor, but there I was feeling so sad and scared, not really wanting to find out what was wrong but at the same time needing to know. My heart hurt as we went through the examination and the ultrasound, followed by the news that we had lost our baby. I was having a miscarriage. I lay on the table crying as my husband stepped out of the room to call to tell the sad news to my Mom.

I remember in the following days just feeling as if I was just going through the motions of life. My Mom stayed with me a few days while I recovered physically. I dreaded going back to my classroom. I remember when I did go back how it felt so foreign. My world as I knew it had stopped for four days, and now here I was back in the classroom where I was supposed to act normal and go on with my life. Nothing was the same for me though. I didn’t know how to go on at first.

Nine years ago. So much has happened in that time, and I still sometimes will wonder about that baby. I have always felt that God had a reason and a purpose, just like He does with everything we go through. Up until that point I had never been through such a loss in my life. I had no idea the pain that can be associated with a miscarriage and didn’t really know that many women who had faced a loss. Now when I hear of someone who lost a baby my heart hurts for them, and I’m taken back to that time nine years ago.

I am thankful for how God used those 10 short weeks with our baby to change my heart forever. Through our loss, God taught me to depend on Him. I learned some things that are not appropriate or beneficial to say to someone who is hurting. I learned that carefully chosen caring words are so helpful. I learned how much it means to get a kind note or email, even months down the road. I learned that you never know what someone is going through or what kind of day they are having.

God used our loss to help change my heart to be more compassionate for the hurting. It is my prayer that I can offer comfort to others who are hurting in their lives whether it be due to miscarriage or something else.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Have a day of blessings!

My husband is currently reading a book by Dr. Henry Cloud entitled, “Necessary Endings”. He pointed out a chapter in the book to me about pruning. Even though the book is referring to the necessity of pruning in business at times, the same concept is just as imperative in our spiritual being. The book defines pruning as…

“removing whatever it is in our business or life whose reach is unwanted or superfluous.”

When I think about pruning, I think about a bonsai tree. As the tree grows, the pruner must be careful and intricate about cutting the branches to develop the correct size and shape. What is interesting about the bonsai tree is that even if the branches are healthy, if they are going in the wrong direction, one other than what was planned, the branch would have to be cut. Pruning such a tree takes much patience. Sometimes it may take decades for the plant to become exactly what the pruner wants. Even when it becomes exactly how it should be, it still will need some maintenance pruning from time to time, as long as the plant is still alive.

Spiritually speaking, we can all be compared to a Bonsai tree. Except, God is the perfect pruner, ever so patiently clipping, cutting and forming as He desires. He started the pruning process with each of us as small seeds. He has steadily watched us grow and along the way He has had to cut off unhealthy branches from time to time. Sometimes, He has even had to cut away what seems to me to be healthy branches. Such branches that were healthy but just not growing in the direction that He had planned.

With each pruning stage, whether it is with a Bonsai tree or with our spirit man, it all has a purpose. The purpose of pruning a Bonsai tree is to show off the patience and care of the pruner, the same could be said about the pruning that God does for us. His purpose in pruning us is not to bring hardship or heartache, in fact, without His pruning we could not become the masterpiece that He has planned for us to be.

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:2).

Have you felt some pruning in your life in 2011? I have and it hasn’t always been easy, but as I reflect back over the past year I can see areas that needed to be clipped, tweaked and cut away. When I allow God to be the master pruner of my life, it is then that I can see purpose in it. I pray that in the new year 2012, that each of us will allow purposeful pruning to take place in our lives and in our hearts.

Happy Pruning! I mean…Happy New Year!

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” Matthew 6:25 (NKJV)

Does the fact that Christmas is just ten days away make you cringe or even panic?  Do you have a list of things that need to be done or purchased and realize that nothing has been crossed off your list yet?

For the past five or so years I have learned not to allow these things get me down.  Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way when chronic illness crept into my life like a thief in the night robbing me of the stamina I once had in order to accomplish the things I thought I needed to get done for the Christmas season.   I have learned that my home does need to be perfectly decorated; I do not have to bake everyone’s favorite Christmas cookie, candy, or cake; or have the perfect Christmas dinner; or the perfect tree with all the special trimmings; or spend a fortune for gifts.

I’ve learned that what people really want – those closest to us – is our special attention.  We can find ourselves so busy with all the holiday trappings that we neglect the very people we claim to be doing all the fuss for.

This past Sunday afternoon I had a Women’s Christmas Tea for the ladies of our church in our home.  I not only wanted to show my love and appreciation for each of them, but I also wanted them to know that we can have a wonderful time of fellowship without all the hype and fuss.  I knew my limits as well.  Other than the usual weekly cleaning that my husband always helps me with, I did not worry that everything had to look spotless or beautifully decorated.  I decided that since it was an afternoon Tea, that the food would be simple as well.  I furnished the hot tea and sparkling punch along with a tray of freshly baked scones and mini muffins purchased from my new friend who has a lovely Bed & Breakfast and Tea Room in Pottsville, PA.  I had the ladies bring cookies for a cookie exchange using one dozen from each lady for all to share at the tea.  To make it even simpler I purchased Christmas paper plates, cups and napkins.  I did not want the focus to be on the food or a beautifully decorated table.  I wanted the focus to be on the fellowship with one another as well as the real reason for this special season – Jesus.  We had prayer and devotion; a white elephant gift exchange; Christmas Pictionary; and a great time of fellowship and laughter too.  The two hours set for the Tea flew by way too fast!

This year there will not be any homemade cookies or candies from me.  Although, those who know me are probably thankful to hear this since for some reason my cookies never turn out like they should.  My husband and I will enjoy a few Christmas gatherings with the church, some extended family members and our small but precious family (mom and our daughter Heather and family).  Knowing my physical limitations we chose carefully which gatherings we attend as well as limit the amount of time spent at each gathering so as to not overly exhaust myself .  I’ve learned that I do not have to be supper woman and do everything myself.  My daughter and grandson love to help with the Christmas preparations.

In simplifying my life I have been able to give the gift that each family member desires from me – the gift of quality time with ME.   In so doing, we can all enjoy the real reason for this special season – God’s precious Gift to each of us – Jesus

“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!”  2 Corinthians 9:15 (NKJV)