Laced With Grace

January 12, 2003

I remember the day so clearly. I was a little over 10 weeks pregnant with our first child. It was a Sunday, and we were at a fellowship lunch after morning church services. I went to the bathroom and was shocked to see I was spotting. I remember the fear I felt and how I tried to stay calm, how I told myself it’s okay, it’s probably nothing. I told my husband, and we quickly finished eating and went home. I called my Mom and tried to search online for answers. I just wanted to crawl in bed and make it all go away. I prayed over and over that everything was fine and that the spotting was just nothing. I was so scared though. I stayed in bed most of the day, and my Mom came to visit, to be supportive and give us a hug. My heart hurt as we prayed and hoped our baby was okay.

The next morning my husband took me to the local emergency room. I don’t know why I didn’t go see my regular doctor, but there I was feeling so sad and scared, not really wanting to find out what was wrong but at the same time needing to know. My heart hurt as we went through the examination and the ultrasound, followed by the news that we had lost our baby. I was having a miscarriage. I lay on the table crying as my husband stepped out of the room to call to tell the sad news to my Mom.

I remember in the following days just feeling as if I was just going through the motions of life. My Mom stayed with me a few days while I recovered physically. I dreaded going back to my classroom. I remember when I did go back how it felt so foreign. My world as I knew it had stopped for four days, and now here I was back in the classroom where I was supposed to act normal and go on with my life. Nothing was the same for me though. I didn’t know how to go on at first.

Nine years ago. So much has happened in that time, and I still sometimes will wonder about that baby. I have always felt that God had a reason and a purpose, just like He does with everything we go through. Up until that point I had never been through such a loss in my life. I had no idea the pain that can be associated with a miscarriage and didn’t really know that many women who had faced a loss. Now when I hear of someone who lost a baby my heart hurts for them, and I’m taken back to that time nine years ago.

I am thankful for how God used those 10 short weeks with our baby to change my heart forever. Through our loss, God taught me to depend on Him. I learned some things that are not appropriate or beneficial to say to someone who is hurting. I learned that carefully chosen caring words are so helpful. I learned how much it means to get a kind note or email, even months down the road. I learned that you never know what someone is going through or what kind of day they are having.

God used our loss to help change my heart to be more compassionate for the hurting. It is my prayer that I can offer comfort to others who are hurting in their lives whether it be due to miscarriage or something else.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Have a day of blessings!

“I will extol Thee, my God, O King; And I will bless Thy name forever and ever. Everyday I will bless Thee, and I will praise Thy name forever and ever. Great is the LORD, and highly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall praise Thy works to another, and shall declare Thy mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of Thy majesty, and on Thy wonderful works, I will meditate.”  Psalm 145:1-5

When do you take down your Christmas tree and decorations?  For many, it all comes down this week. We pack them all up and put Christmas back in the box until next year. The warm fuzzies fade, and the reality of the present glares at us come January 2nd when everything goes back to the “normal” routine — back to work and school, appointments and paying the bills.

I don’t like packing Christmas away for another year. But I also don’t like keeping Jesus as a baby or in a box.

Yes, there is something simple about the birth of Jesus. We think of the story of a sweet baby laying peacefully in a manger and it somehow feels safe and warm. Visualizing Him as helpless and small makes Him seem easy to control.  I don’t need to deal with how big He really is, His greatness, majesty and power.

Jesus doesn’t want to remain a baby in our lives, nor does He want to can He be put into a box. In the beginning of Luke 2, we see Him as the baby in a manger, but by the end of the chapter we see He grew in wisdom, stature and in favor with God and men (Luke 2:52).  He was born full of grace and truth (John 1:14) and we can trust and follow Him in every circumstance of life. He came to be our Savior and He desires for all of us to see His majesty and awesome power, to fall to our knees and worship Him as our Savior and Lord. To put Jesus into a box would negate His grace that’s given to us freely, grace upon grace (John 1:16).  To relegate Jesus to a box of our own choosing, (i.e. legalism or humanism) is like thinking we have life under our own control.

The past few years I’ve started keeping one Christmas decoration or ornament out of the box, and place it somewhere where I least expect it. It serves as a visual reminder to not put Jesus in a box, but to see Him for Who He truly is, our Savior and Lord. This year, I’m keeping out one of my Moravian star ornaments to remind me of His splendor and majesty and His mighty works. It will also remind me to “shine like stars in the universe” before this sin sick world. (Philippians 2:15)

As you’re undecorating this week, pause and reflect upon His majesty, power and mighty works. Reflect upon His grace upon grace in your life. Don’t put Jesus in a box.

Prayer:

Lord, I love the presents and the lights. I’m not looking forward to taking it all down, but I’m most grateful for You sending Your Son as the Light of the World.  The simple, uncluttered way I decorated this year gently reminds me I don’t have to be all decked out in beautiful array to come before You; You are more concerned with what’s inside.

I don’t ever want to put You in a box. I pause right now and recognize you as my grown-up Savior and Lord, out of the feed box and on the throne of my heart.  Please help me to always keep You there.  May I continually mediate upon Your glorious splendor and wonderful works.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

As I wandered through the woods this morning, I got caught up in a woodland chorus.

An amphitheater made of oak, maple, birch, poplar, ash and evergreen pine and painted in glowing hues of gold, red, orange, brown, russet and green by the Master Craftsman. The participants perched upon their bough.

Each bird species has it’s own unique part that no other in the woodland chorus can sing. Simply it chirps its repetitive song. It does not try to sing another bird’s song, it only sings the songs God created it to sing.

It lives a life of contentment.  Content to be an ordinary bird singing it’s God-given song.

A variety of birds, each singing its part in the woodland chorus from their tree top perches.  Worship in surround sound.

What’s your song?  What has He created You to sing to the world?

Have you ever found yourself discontent with your voice in the symphony of life?  Do you find yourself wishing you could “sing” better or perhaps a different song?

Listen to the Lord’s response to your discontent.

 I love to hear you sing your praises and your sounds of joy. I am your song, and when you sing, all of creation hums in harmony. Your voice is the instrument I use to stir human souls, but it is your heart that reaches My ear. 

 There is music in great sounds of joy and jubilation! There is music in the crashing waters, in the sound of wind in the trees. But there is no music as delightful to My ear as the sound of My children; because it is your heart that I most want to hear. It makes My heart glad to hear you because your sounds are pure and true.

 My Holy Spirit springs from your spirit in the form of music, and the sounds you make are holy. They refresh and renew your soul; they bless My heart. 

 Sing to me a new song. Even in diversity, sing to Me. Even in Trials and what you think is your darkest hour, sing to Me. Sing to Me, for I am your Beloved; sing to Me a tender, loving song. I am your song.

“Sing for joy in the LORD, O you righteous ones; Praise is becoming to the upright. Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre; Sing praise to Him with a harp of ten strings. Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully with a shout of joy. Psalm 33:1-3

Lord, forgive me! Oft times I attempt to sing songs that are not meant for me to sing.  Thank You for giving me a song to sing in eternity’s symphony.