The Faithful Witness in the Sky
28 Jul
…it will be established forever like the moon, the faithful witness in the sky.
–Psalm 89:37
I once had a dream that carried me back to my childhood. My two brothers and my sister were there. The baby was missing—having not yet been born. We were riding in the old yellow school bus. So much of our lives happened on that school bus it seemed. The trip up the winding “holler” seemed hours long. Lifelong friendships were established on that bus…pecking order rules created…first kisses given and taken…secret crushes revealed…
But none of these things were present on the bus in my dream. Only my brothers and sister and I. We were sitting close and smiling. I knew from the easy way we were with one another that this bus ride was before my parents’ divorce. This was from the time when our hearts were still the hearts of children, from the happy innocent time before our home was torn apart. We were laughing and though I could not tell what we were saying, I knew that this is how it should be with brothers and sisters: open and trusting, believing that our thoughts and words were safe to hand one another. And in the dream I was happy.
When I awoke the feeling remained with me for a time. But there was something else there as well: grief.
The brokenness between us all began not too long after that school bus ride. And though the years have plodded on and we love each other very much, we are all missing something. The dream served to remind me of the tenderhearted trust that we once shared. The trust that came from bearing one another’s burdens through anything. How my heart still grieves that loss at times.
We used to all four pick a star on our way home from church. We would lay in the back of the family station wagon, side by side and follow the bright light of our chosen beacon home. Invariably–when we arrived at our destination, past bedtime, longing for the clean sheets to slide between–invariably, we would find that we had followed the very same star home. All four of us.
That was how I wanted it to stay forever: so that even our chosen stars would be the same. I still wonder at times how it would be if we were still following the same stars instead of looking out from different universes. For that is how it is now. We all grew up and apart, carefully guarding our hearts from further damage. In the process we lost one another somehow.
When I find my thoughts settling too much on melancholy times, I try to remember the faithful witness in the sky. No, I am not talking about the moon, but of The One who sees and knows all. Psalm 56:8 tells us He catches our tears in his wineskin; that He records our laments in His scroll. He witnessed my wounded heart during that time and in the broken years that followed. Indeed, when I look back in faithfulness, I see how He used that sorrow to draw me close to Him.
There are some things we will never understand, Beloved. But when you look back, look back in faith. Consider how He worked in you. When you look for Him, Dear One, you will find Him. He was always there, catching your tears before they could fall to the ground.
photo by Talke Photography, flickr creative commons.
Beautiful! Our Faithful One…always there…never forsaking…forever loving us….
Thanks for touching my heart.
Thank YOU, Denise and Karen, for stopping by. Every time I look at the moon, I feel God there. He is our faithful Witness. He sees everything.
Laura, whenever I read these words from your heart I long to be able to make everything better for you. It is a miracle to know there is One who will do that – is doing that. And He will do it for each of us, if we will only let Him.
Thank you for your transparency and tender heart.
What a beautifully descriptive post. Thanks for sharing your heart…and your faith in the One who holds our tears.
Living for Him, Joan
Linda,
You are so sweet-a precious friend. Life is hard sometimes, it’s true. That’s why I need Jesus so. He uses it all. And, as I said, if not for the broken pieces of my past, I don’t know that I would know Him the way I do now. Thank you for thinking of me.
Joan,
Oh, thank you! And thank you for the prayers you have been sending. They must be like sweet incense to Him. Many blessings!