Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all thins, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV
This Is Us is one of the most popular and favorite shows on TV. I often joke and say I am a married to a real life Jack Pearson. Not the flawed Jack Pearson but the Jack Pearson who is a faithful and loving husband and amazing dad.
And, yes, I can be Rebecca Pearson. Not the sweet, beautiful singing, gorgeous Rebecca Pearson but the mean and self centered Rebecca Pearson.
In one particular episode, we fans saw the worst Rebecca Pearson. It was Jack’s birthday and Rebecca is very pregnant. This particular morning, she woke up in rare form complaining about things that aren’t finished, the house being hot, etc. Eventually, she kicked Jack out of the house for no reason other than her own pure grumpiness. Jack bows out and goes without putting up a fight. Later on, Rebecca realizes she was awful to him, on his birthday. When he finally returns home, he forgives her for her terrible behavior and lackluster birthday gift. It wasn’t even a question. Forgiven. Done. Move on. And it was a good thing, because she went into labor that night!
My husband and I celebrated 21 years of marriage on October 26. We had planned a day away together at our favorite theme park for our favorite dinner. In order for this to happen, I moved heaven and earth with coordinating rides for kids to their activities, rescheduling appointments and working ahead so I was prepared for the day away. All was great until my husband goes to make the dinner reservations the night before. Now, this dinner rarely sells out, especially during the weekdays in October. Well, turns out they weren’t offering the dinner on our anniversary. Now, I knew this wasn’t his fault. We sat down, looked over the calendar and picked a new day to go. I was disappointed we didn’t go on our actual anniversary but happy we had a new day picked out.
That was until my husband goes to make reservations for it and it is sold out.
Now, I made Rebecca on her worst day look like an angel. I was furious with my husband. How in the world could he let this happen twice? This time, in my mind, it was totally and completely his fault for not making reservations sooner.
Then, to make things worse, he would humbly say, “I understand why you are mad. You have every right to be. I blew it.” He took total responsibility for it.
I spent a good day pouting and being downright nasty to him. Here is the thing though, I eventually had to make a choice to let it go and forgive him or spend the rest of my life being made. Honestly, being mad is exhausting. It is emotionally or physically demanding. And he forgave me. No questions asked. Forgiven. Done. Move on.
Twenty-one years of marriage doesn’t happen by staying mad. There has to be grace. There has to be forgiveness. There has to be a choice to continue to love someone despite their shortcomings.
I’m happy to say we finally had our day together this past Thursday. The dinner was amazing, (as I knew it would be), the weather was perfect, the day was wonderful – even if it was three weeks late.
I’m thankful that God demonstrates the same love for us. Not only did I have to ask my husband for forgiveness, I had to ask God to forgive my not so Proverbs 31 behavior as well. And He did. Forgiven. Done. Move on.
I’m thankful that as children of the Lord, he allows us to forgive one another, heal relationships and move on.
Forgiveness can be hard. Relationships can be hard. I’m trying, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to be more Christ like in my relationships. I have a long way to go, but for now, I’m blessed by 21 years with an amazing husband – who is my husband and not Jack Pearson.
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