Laced With Grace

Raising teens today is a huge challenge. I can already tell there are bobbing heads out there, agreeing with that statement. With regards to my own struggling teen, I’ve come in contact with so many other moms out there, dealing with some pretty heavy-duty issues with their teenagers.

In just the last week, I spoke with a friend who’s daughter is battling anxiety issues, just like my own sweet girl. How do we ride these choppy waters and navigate our teens into a place of functioning and thriving adulthood?

I will honestly confess I don’t have any fix all cure or THE ANSWER to solve any situation. Through the ongoing issues of cancer recovery, stress, depression, ongoing health issues, and anxiety that my own daughter has gone and is going through, I’ve found some comfort is four simple areas:

1. You’re not responsible. This was a hard one for me to finally come to grips with. I didn’t cause my daughter’s cancer. There’s nothing I could have done to prevent it or ongoing health issues and anxiety that she’s now going through. I can’t fix it, nor should I hold myself responsible for the outcome. I do what I can for my daughter, then have to leave the rest in God’s hands and TRUST Him for the outcome.

2. Live in the moment. When we first got my daughter’s cancer diagnosis, this lesson hit hard and fast. Life became consumed with doctor appointments, surgery and treatments. I will tell you, I’m so grateful for that because that was just the beginning of what my daughter face. That lesson is what keeps my sane some days because I don’t let the bad moments define all the others. There are precious moments of love and closeness in every day. Grab and appreciate them. They are the inspiration and fuel to keep going some days.

3. Learn to listen. Again, a big lesson for me, especially since I’ve always considered myself a good listener. I am, but when I’m in mommy mode, I want to fix things. I finally learned that a lot of the time, our teens just want us to listen and really HEAR them. This takes practice but it’s vital. Our teens don’t want us to “fix” them. A lot of the time they will come to the right place, but they need us to hear them out. As adults, many of us know we sometimes need to say what we’re struggling with out loud to make sense of it all. Our teenagers need that too. There will be times that we will need to say something, get directly involved, or take action, but most of the time, they just want to know you care and listening is a huge way to show it.

4. Pray like crazy and don’t stop. I confess it’s a challenge, especially when my heart is breaking to see her sadness and frustration that she can’t be “normal.” I have prayed the heavens around this kid over and over again, and I won’t stop until she walks into the healing and future God has told me is hers. And yes, it’s hard when you see them take a couple steps forward and then fall back three steps. Will it ever change? Will this person I’ve worked so hard to raise into adulthood walk into that role with confidence and strength?

Pray, pray, pray. God is faithful. I cling to this truth, because He’s proven it to me time after time. My challenge is not to let my impatience get in the way. Again, trusting God is vital here. He knows our kids. He knows our mother’s heart for them. He’s their Father, Brother, Friend, and hopefully Savior. God can take care of whatever is going on. It may not turn out the way we imagined, but I can guarantee you that it will be the best possible outcome and result for our teenager.

Like I said, I have no clear-cut answers to raising a teenager with issues—to raising any teenager. I only know that we have a mighty weapon in prayer and that God is faithful. Walking the road of parent is the most difficult yet rewarding journey I’ve ever walked. And I have the gray hairs to show for it!

I know one day my daughter will walk into her future with the strength of God to guide her. The struggles of her past will be part of the foundation God has built to equip her for whatever place of service He is designing for her right now. And I’ll be right there, praying for her still, and praising God for the outcome.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Find me also at:

Do you ever feel like a nine year old at an amusement park? You want to ride with the big kids on the “Big” rides but you just don’t measure up.

Not tall enough.

I think everyone of us struggles with …. Not enough.

Not smart enough.

Not enough courage to say no to a demanding family member.

Not enough confidence to take a risk and trust God.

Not pretty or sexy enough for our spouse.

Not witty enough.

Not strong enough.

Not happy enough.

Not enough.

You know where I think that we feel the most insecurity in our “not enough?” I think right in our very own church family.

I have to tell you that some of the harshest criticism I received from my writing online hasn’t come from my unbelieving souse or another atheist debating my beliefs. No, some of the most painful and soul wrenching criticisms come from those who I hold in high esteem and who are Christian. Sometimes it’s believers who contribute most to our self-doubt.

That’s why it’s difficult to be truly authentic when writing or teaching in any area of effective service to the Kingdom. To bring real and lasting healing requires you to “get real” about issues and living life.

It’s a risk.

But, I have discovered a few of God’s promises which brought me freedom to teach with authenticity. And it’s authenticity that is what our Lord desires from our lives. It’s authentic living that compels others to see Jesus.

First.

“Not enough” is a lie from the pit of hell.

If you are a child of the Most High, you are enough. In fact, you are more than enough. And the more brokenness you have overcome through the power and love of Jesus, the more powerful and effective witness you are to the world.

Satan wants to keep you believing the lie that your past secrets and failures will keep you from serving the Lord. So right now say out loud, “I reject the lie of the enemy. I am more than enough.”

Second.

Your past is exactly what God will use to perfect your future. In fact, God brings about your healing and then in the most stunning of events, He will display you to the world as His trophy. You are that valued and that important to Him. He delights in your life surrendered to Him and it speaks louder than words to a broken and lost world.

Third.

You may not be enough “in the eyes of the world.” So pay the world no mind because in the eyes of God you are complete. Nothing is more beautiful or priceless to our Creator.

“Hear me now.”

“I am the Lord your God. I have chosen you from millions of people living on this earth. I adore you. I have fantastic plans for you. I will raise you to be my trophy that the world will know that there is a God of the universe and that I love my people of authenticity.

“You will always be enough for Me.”

Be blessed, Lynn

Please join me today at Winninghimwithoutwords.com and enter the drawing for the marriage basket, a $300 value.