“Love is what you do.” True or False?
“Love is what you do.”
True or False?
Searching the racks for a Valentine’s Day card, I spotted one that read “Love is what you do…”
I didn’t buy it.
I didn’t buy the card, or the sentiment. I thought it totally false. Love isn’t what you DO. Too many marriages die because of expectations of what one is supposed to do for the other. Too many children are smothered by mothers who are constantly do-ing for their kids instead of guiding their children to learn to do for themselves. Love isn’t “works” that you do to achieve status, appreciation, salvation.
Yet, true love – God’s AGAPE love – IS doing. God so loved the world that He GAVE His only Son…
Giving is sacrifice.
Giving is doing.
Giving is loving.
Unlike Greek which has 3 words for “love”, our poor English language only has one. We use the same word to express our appreciation for a delicious meal or our favorite color, our children or our spouses.
The Greek word “Eros” describes The Valentine’s Day love, the cupid-popping, heart-stopping, starry-eyed romantic love. The love you can “make.” It’s the white hot flash of light that burns bright, but though seemingly powerful can easily be extinguished. It’s the love people long for for and miss terribly, but has the least value. It’s often fun, but without depth. It’s full of fleeting feelings. It also can be used to entrap women into abusive relationships.
Then there’s “Phileo,” the friendship, “brotherly love.” True transparency and camaraderie between souls. This love evokes deeper feelings where connection is deep and lasting. It lacks the flash of Eros, but it is soul-satisfying.
Lastly, actually firstly, there’s “Agape.” And in a way, this is “Love is what you do.” This is the love that lets a Father send His royal Son to certain pain and death so that His other children may live. It’s seen in drops of blood-sweat of a Man about to bear sins, griefs, sorrows, rejection, humiliation making the choice “Not My will but Yours…” It’s the love that GIVES His One and Only Son. The love that is described in 1 Cor. 13, a passage often read at weddings describes an eternal agape love, not a eros romantic one.
Anyone can experience eros – …. From Frank Sinatra to the Beatles to Justin Beiber, to a cute guy down the block, young girls’ hearts and eyelashes flutter… Many are fortunate to experience true phileo – a transparent reciprocal friendship with someone you love and who loves you back, warts and all.
But the rarest and most valuable love is available to everyone but is often overlooked. A pearl of great price, trampled, missed by those seeking fleeting flutters. It’s the most valuable because of the great price that was paid for it.
During His life on earth, Jesus “did” for others. Demonstrating Agape, He healed, He forgave, He prayed, He loved those who could do nothing for Him in return. He lived the love described in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor. 13:4-7
Paul opens the chapter explaining that if he had gifts and did good works but didn’t love, it was all nothing. Giving and doing without love account for nothing in God’s economy.
And Paul closes the chapter by saying that as he matured, he “put away childish things.” As we mature, we grow in our ability to Agape love others and rely less on receiving Eros or Phileo.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is AGAPE. 1 Cor. 1:8
May you be blessed by His Agape love for you in abundant measure, today and every day.
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Awesome post.
So true – so many people will say, “If you love me you will do….”…. that is not true love Agape love…. I am so glad I did not have to DO something to merit God’s love.
nothing short of the truth!