Grab Them Back NOW!

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab our back.

I saw this quote a while back and thought to myself, how true.

Most of you know I write about my marriage to my unsaved husband. I began writing after God healed me from my disappointments in life. But, it was only after many years of fruitless living.

Because I wasted so many years wandering like the Israelites in the dessert, longing for the Promised Land, I am compelled to help others escape the desert at their earliest opportunity. The desert landscape can be a marriage, a prodigal child, chronic illness, bad neighbors, unemployment.

We each face struggles that God allows because He is busily crafting our character to Christ’s likeness. But for me, I languished for way too many years in the land of envy.

Envy: A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.

I looked around and saw husbands who attended church with his wife and children.
~I wanted that.
I knew husbands who read their Bible, regularly.
~I wanted that.
I knew husbands who actually prayed with their wife…. Every day…
~I soooooo wanted that.

Envy is a waste of time.

Mate comparison is a toxic occupation and one I must continually surrender to Christ. I spent way too many years in the comparison camp, pining with envy.

Over the years I have discovered that behind every marriage is a relationship. There is a private relationship between a man and a woman that no one else sees. I have yet to meet a married couple who hasn’t struggled in their marriage at one time or another.

Just recently on my blog, I lamented about a disappointment in my marriage. I felt justified in my dissatisfaction and therefore was completely humbled when this comment arrived:

Your story made me pause… I had just celebrated a precious date with my husband of 8 years.. He said he loved me more than when we first met. Chris told me, that I was a great wife and perfect mother for our girls, ages 2, 4, and 6.. Three days later he was in a plane crash and God took him home………That was 12 years ago. I lost my husband and best friend that day… So please ladies take time to enjoy that husband of yours…. God is in control and he just wants us to SIMPLY TRUST him.. When we fret that is the enemy trying to steal our joy……..peace and hugs to you all. Kathy

Gulp!

God gave me a wonderful man. Not perfect but neither am I.

When we start down that road of comparison and envy is tapping us on the shoulder, we must take those thoughts captive to Christ and remember what rich blessings we already have. God wastes nothing and although it may appear life is unfair, we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28 (NIV)

So hang on to your problems because I can guarantee if we could see what others are dealing with, we would, in deed, grab ours back.

Thank you for sharing a few minutes with me. I would love to pray for you. Visit me at spirituallyunequalmarriage.com. Be blessed, Lynn
Find me daily at

9 thoughts on “Grab Them Back NOW!

  1. JoanJoan

    Yes,enjoy your husband and trust God! He can and does work miracles in marriages! One of my very best friends was married to a wonderful man, who did not believe. But, through her gentle witness, her daily prayers, and her loving attitude toward him, God tugged at his heart. And now, 20 years later, he has given his life to Christ. And all throughout…she trusted the Lord, knowing He had a plan!

  2. Elizabeth

    I am so sorry you have to go through this. But, don’t give up. You’re right…God has a plan. I will pray for you and your family. Keep praying and have hope…all our hope is in God:)
    Blessings,
    Elizabeth

  3. Dineen Miller

    My anti-spam word is “hope.” I just love that because that’s what we have in Jesus. Joan’s story is so encouraging! I love hearing how God works. And I know He’s working on Lynn’s hubby, and my mine. The two Mikes! LOL! God is good!

  4. Karen

    I visited that land of envy, too…and made the terrible mistake of actually telling my DH about the trip…that resulted in one of our worst arguments…and provided a much needed lesson on contentment and patience….

  5. Iris

    Powerful post, Lynn. I really like what Karen shared. We do need to enjoy the time we have with our husbands – we never know how the day ends…Also try when we start on the road of envy, comparison with others, it can become exhausting.

    Thank you for sharing from your heart, Lynn.

  6. Missie

    Thank you for sharing! i know that I have issues with envy of other peoples marriages. My husband believes in God, but isn’t really seeking a personal relationahip which is hard because I really wish he could see how amazing it is. I hope that God works in both our husband’s hearts to draw them to Himself by them seeing our faithful example.

  7. mariel

    Thank you for the beautiful reminder to be thankful and content. I just read recently in my time with the Lord, about the Lord giving the Israelites “what they wanted”…a king. He WAS their king, but they wanted what everyone else had! So He gave it…to their demise they got Saul, a man who turned out to be an evil king who drove them from the Lord. Right then I thanked Jesus for not giving me ALL I think I want! He knows best!!