Laced With Grace

I grew up with faith. I know that’s not abnormal, but I walked away from it because I didn’t feel good enough and it was just so hard to be good enough. Good all the time. I couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t bear the guilt of not being good enough for God. Flash forward 20 plus years forward, and I became a Christian. I know the day exactly. I know the moment exactly and it’s been a whirlwind ever since. I fell in love with a Savior that forgives and forgets.

 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. – Romans 8:1

I fell in love with a Savior that gave me His righteousness in exchange for my sins. Who died on a cross so that I may live eternally with Him.

I fell in love with a Savior that has made me new.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

And yet, I still sin and those old feelings return. I am not good enough for my Savior. I am not holy as He is holy.

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” – 1 Peter 1:14-16.

Which leaves me where we began. I am unworthy of my Savior. I am not good enough to serve Him – to be loved by Him. I am not good enough. And, quite frankly, I never will be as long as I live in this flesh we call a human body. Even then, I know that God commands us to live in this body so as to glorify Him, which I do not always do.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were brought with a price. So glorify God in your body. – 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

So, where does that leave me. Not good enough to be worthy of the Savior who gives me eternal life nor to have His Spirit live within me.

Not good enough is a hard place to live at. Its mirrors are curved so as to accentuate your flaws and hide the lovely transformation that is going on within. It is a cold, dark place where shame and guilt are blown up like your face in a fun house mirror. Condemning whispers can be heard from every crevice in the floor that is perilously placed on a foundation of quick sand.

And that’s the problem. It’s not in “not” being “good enough” but in believing the lies of Satan that being “good enough” was ever a criteria of salvation. Jesus came for the lost, for the sinners, for those “not good enough” by the world’s standards. He came because I am not good enough and He knows that we can allow the world to swallow us whole if we believe those lies.

It is His Spirit living in us that makes us good enough – in our brokenness, flaws, weakness and inadequacies – in those places, He will rise up and bring glory to Himself because if we were “good enough” we would never need a Savior in the first place. Nor would we continue to cling to Him and allow His Spirit to transform us.

That does not mean I can be bad to the bone, as George Thorogood sang about in the early 80s.  Rather, it gives me hope that in obedience, surrender and enduring, God’s Spirit will change me – will transform me.

I am holy because He says I am. Not because I have done something good enough to earn the title of “holy” but because Jesus has – on the cross. And we are good enough because we have turned to Jesus to be our Savior and God. It is because of this that I am certain that my “goodness” or lack thereof is not measured by my failures but by my God’s ability to redeem me and glorify Jesus in the process. It is because of this that I praise Him not only when I get to heaven after I have been completely transformed, but here, on earth, as I go through the process of allowing His goodness to change me.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6

Do you wake up thinking about bills and immediately started running through a gamut of emotions – from fear to thankfulness?

Me, too! And all these feelings hit me before my hands have even reached for the first cup of coffee. The other morning as I stood waiting on my coffee to brew, I thought of a verse that had stuck in my mind since I knew I would be confronting my pile of bills today:

“I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread” Psalm 37:25 (NIV).

I find so much comfort in that verse knowing that God will never forsake us and that he has promised to feed us. When I look at my stack of bills to be paid, the worry isn’t about my family starving.

But the fact that we’re not going hungry isn’t going to help me pay those bills.

There are real people in very desperate situations for whom this verse would be their hearts’ cry. But for many of us, food isn’t the problem. The problem is all the stuff we now consider essential to living. Think about what many of us consider “essential”:

• Cell phones

• Cable TV (with DVR)

• Internet

• Cabinets stocked full of food

As I began to study when Jesus said, “I am the bread of life”, I realized that most of the things I considered essential are nothing more than wants. Our basic needs are the same regardless of where we live: water, food, shelter, clothing, and love.

Financial troubles are a very real struggle. I talked with a friend this week whose electricity was on the verge of getting cut off and another friend who is losing her home. Some of us are paying the bills but having to say “no” to our kids for the first time ever. What do we do when we find ourselves in these kinds of situations?

When I see verses like the one above in the book of Psalm, my heart knows that isn’t my situation.  So if I try to pray it, my heart says, “Seriously?” More than likely, since you are reading this on a computer, it isn’t your situation either.

So what should a middle-class woman who has water, food, clothes, shelter and love do?

The first thing is to be thankful. What are you thankful for right now? Most of us are adjusting to tighter budgets, but we are not in truly desperate situations. Find time to focus on what is going well in your life and tell God you are thankful for it.

Secondly, expect God to do something. It is in his nature to respond to our cries for help, whether the mess is our own making or completely out of our hands. Personally, it seems I spend a huge amount of time thinking about my troubles – but am I praying about them? Be deliberate in deciding to pray about your troubles but with a mindset of whether what you are praying about is a need or a want. Sometimes, I think I try to convince God my want is a need, and he’s not buying it. But when I acknowledge how it’s a want, my heart feels freer whether the answer is a yes, no, or wait.

Thirdly, when he opens a door for us to change, be willing to walk through the door, knowing God is working in your life. A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to write about bathrooms for extra money. When they first asked me about doing it, I thought, “No way. I can’t.” Well guess what? With God’s help, I wrote more about bathrooms than I would have ever dreamed. Look for ways the talents God has given you might help you make some extra money.

Most importantly though, we should embrace frugal living. And not in a begrudging way but by doing so with a joyful spirit. People will be drawn to a woman of God who can be joyful even when she is serving rice and beans … again! That’s what we are having tonight I might add!

We can handle these changes with grace and thanksgiving, and God will give us the ability to do so when we shift our focus from our momentary troubles to who He is~ I am the Bread of Life!

How we handle our situations will direct the response of our entire household. We can either respond by sinking into feelings of defeat and despair – or we can respond by becoming a testimony of God’s provision.

How could knowing that Jesus is the Bread of Life, change your view today? If you leave a comment you’ll be entered for a free copy of Seriously God?

I would love for you to read first pages of Seriously God? and then join in our discussion on wants verses needs in regards to our bill list. Or join our online Book/Bible study for Seriously God? sarting in June. You can find all the details at Keeping In Stride.

And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. ~ Luke 17:15-16

Illustration for 'The Life of Christ' copyright 1886-94. Tissoud, James Jaques Joseph (1832-1902). Brooklyn Museum of Art, New York, USA / The Bridgeman Art Library

I opened the campus mailbox eagerly. I just knew that I had to have a card waiting. It was only a couple more days until my birthday, and I knew that he wouldn’t forget. He wrote me several times a week; long, beautiful letters that shared everything happening in his life. We had met over the summer and had kept in touch for almost eight months now. But there was nothing, at least not from him.

The next day, I eagerly checked again. Certainly, it would be here today. But it was not. Each day, I checked my mailbox, more convinced than ever that THIS would be the day. My birthday came, and still there was no card. Well, at least he’ll call, right? I mean we talk frequently and he knows it’s my birthday. But there was no phone call either. As a proper Southern lady, I did not dare call him, but I was crushed. How could he not acknowledge my birthday? But the reality was that he did not.

We talked later in the week, and he apologized for missing it. I was expecting some great story for why he had missed something so important. But his only response was this, “Oops, I forgot to flip my calendar.” WHAT? My birthday is not important enough for you to remember without flipping a calendar? I was annoyed, but I wrote it off to him being a guy and quickly forgave him.

Year two, birthday comes along. There is no way that he’s going to forget this one, right? Nope, forgot it again. And year three. And year four. And year five. And year six. We were great friends, but somehow he could never remember my birthday in time to acknowledge it. I think we had known each other for over ten years before he finally remembered it. In his mind, we had a lot of great times together; he wrote to me and called me regularly; we were friends. That was what was important.

So often, I think that God must feel the same way about me. We’ve been friends for a really long time, but I frequently forget to acknowledge Him when it’s important. Every day, He gives me blessings, but how often do I say thank you? How often do I express to Him how much HE means to me. Not being happy that I have things or health, but happy that I have Him.

The ten lepers must have been the same way. I’m sure that all of them were glad to see that their lives had been changed by Jesus’ miraculous healing, but they were busy. They had things to do. The things were important. The law said that if they had been cleansed of leprosy that they needed to stand before the High Priest. They were fulfilling their obligations. But in their hurry to do, they forgot to first be. Be thankful, be in the moment, be still.

Have you found yourself making excuses for why you have not spent more time just being? If so, pray about. Ask God what He wants for your life. I’ve found that this is an area where I still struggle regularly. Today on my blog, I will be talking a little more about something that God has been working in me. I hope that you will hop over to learn a little more about it. Perhaps it is something that He has put on your heart as well, and we can journey for a while together.