A Gentle Answer
I come from a family of fools. Before you get on me about calling my family fools let me explain. I love my family very much but they have some very foolish habits (as did I when I was younger.)
My family will argue about anything, anything at all. If I say to my mom this is the best book ever she will respond with all kinds of arguments against what I said, even if she agrees. My brothers are the same way–I say I have found a great program and they will insist that the opposite program is so much better. Discussing politics or religion is even worse–there is no logic behind their answers, only random arguments that may or may not be based on fact. There is no research involved in their answers, only half-remembered ideas and unrelated suppositions. Poor memories and the desire to be right often fuel their arguments.
It took me many years to learn to stop the arguments when they start, to gently change the subject or stop talking all together. It took me a long time to just plain quit arguing. I am not going to change their mind with my arguments, it is foolish of me to try. Instead I gently respond and turn the subject, hoping that eventually they will take my gentle answer and turn int over in their mind and make it their own. (They have too, I think of it as planting a seed–sooner or later the new idea takes form and gets rooted. 🙂 )
Second Timothy 2: 23 says Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. It is easy to get drawn into such quarrels, to argue about words or specifics of our beliefs. Even worse are the arguments about the best type of music to listen to or the best type of worship service. We are not supposed to argue about these things.
14Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. 15Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 16Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. 17Their teaching will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, 18who have wandered away from the truth. They say that the resurrection has already taken place, and they destroy the faith of some. 19Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,”[a] and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.” 2nd Timothy 2:14-19
Lord, help us control our tongues and guard our hearts. Give us wisdom in dealing with one another, open our eyes and show us the important aspects of our faith and help us to leave all the trappings behind.
How do you handle it when fellow Christians disagree with you?
Thanks for sharing this post.
Hm – how do I handle fellow Christians who argue with me? It really depends on their tone of voice. If I think that I can somehow prove my point, I will tell them my view. If I see that there is no use – I don’t say anything, because I know that I can not change their view…
Thank you for sharing your thoughts this morning with us 🙂
Heather, I have to admit that I may not handle disagreements all that well (I have to work on that). I had a heated debate a couple of months ago with a family memeber over Bible Translations (both of us are Christian, but this other person is opposed to modern English Translations). It did not end well. There is a point to defend and a point to stop arguing and I haven’t figured it out yet.
I needed to read this and be reminded. Thank you.
When I read your post, the first thing I thought about was whether or not your family does that on purpose just to get a rise out of you. You may have to think on that one for a bit. I grew up with 6 other siblings so I have had similar experiences like the one you’ve described. We only have one child now. Do you think my upbringing would have anything to do with that??? Hmmmmm! I’m just having some fun with you on this one. Our dd is a miracle child and a daily constant reminder of the Lord’s faithfulness and miraculous ways.
Boy, can I relate to that! I’m from a family of fools as well. It gets exhausting for sure.
God has been breaking me of my pride that manifests itself in an argumentative spirit. He has shown me that I should have a teachable spirit which is “laced with grace”. Proverbs 13:10
That sounds just like my dad…… he will not even let me think that he agrees with me on anything!!!!!! he is now 90 and has been like that with me all my life………Now he lives on my property and I take care of all his needs and his money……. it is hard for him to let me take care of him and he still want to argue………. However over the years I have also learned to just smile and change the subject…… I think he has mellowed a lot over the years because I just refused to verbally joist back and forth………… thanks for the wonderful post..
That sounds just like my dad…… he will not even let me think that he agrees with me on anything!!!!!! he is now 90 and has been like that with me all my life………Now he lives on my property and I take care of all his needs and his money……. it is hard for him to let me take care of him and he still want to argue………. However over the years I have also learned to just smile and change the subject…… I think he has mellowed a lot over the years because I just refused to verbally joist back and forth………… thanks for the wonderful post..
Girl,
Do we have the same family????
Great post… I relate in so many ways.