Worry

If anyone had asked me if I was a “worrier” a few years ago, I would have answered with a definite no.  I have always considered myself one of those optimistic people who unfailingly see the glass as half full.  I still do. 

However, when I listen to my own words carefully, I realize that while I don’t use the word worry a lot, I actually do worry – quiet often.  I hear myself using phrases like: “I hope….; What if….; I don’t think we should do that because….; I’m afraid that if….; I’m concerned….; Every time we try to do that….  Not words that reveal a very trusting heart.

I have many things in my life these days that can cause me to worry myself into a state of immobility.  I know the Lord is working through all of these things to teach me to trust Him absolutely and surrender completely, but I’m afraid my walk is rather like the proverbial “one step forward, two steps back”.  I understand that worry is a sin.  I confess my failing and ask the Lord to help me to grow in faith. 

I have come a long way despite the “falling back” more often than I’d like.  For me, the key to trusting the Father more is believing He is all that He has said He is and that He will do all He has promised to do.  I thought I had that nailed down pretty well until I read a simple little sentence in “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver.  It hit me right between the eyes as so often happens when we are just happily reading along:

“IF MY GOD ISN’T BIGGER THAN LIFE, THEN MY LIFE IS BIGGER THAN GOD – AND THAT’S WHEN ANXIETY TAKES OVER.”

It really was a heart-stopping moment for me.  When I begin to worry over my circumstances, what I am really saying is that they are bigger than God!  How simple.  Truly there is nothing in my life, no matter how devastating it may be, that is bigger than God – nothing. 

“I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA,’ SAYS THE LORD GOD; WHO IS AND WHO WAS AND WHO IS TO COME, THE ALMIGHTY”     Revelation 1:8 (NAS)

“TO WHOM THEN WILL YOU LIKEN ME THAT I SHOULD BE HIS EQUAL?’ SAYS THE HOLY ONE.  LIFT UP YOUR EYES ON HIGH AND SEE WHO HAS CREATED THESE STARS,   THE ONE WHO LEADS FORTH THEIR HOST BY NUMBER,  HE CALLS THEM ALL BY NAME;  BECAUSE OF THE GREATNESS OF HIS MIGHT AND THE STRENGTH OF HIS POWER NOT ONE OF THEM IS MISSING….DO YOU NOT KNOW?  HAVE YOU NOT HEARD?  THE EVERLASTING GOD, THE LORD, THE CREATOR OF THE ENDS OF THE EARTH DOES NOT BECOME WEARY OR TIRED.  HIS UNDERSTANDING IS INSCRUTABLE.  HE GIVES STRENGTH TO THE WEARY, AND TO HIM WHO LACKS MIGHT HE INCREASES POWER”       Isaiah 40:25,26,28,29 (NAS)

This Holy God is my Father; He calls me child.  What have I to fear?

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