Courage to Trust
In the months leading up to January of this year, I chose a word to focus on as I met with God each day. The word I chose was “courage”. If I had known the full extent of what God was going to teach me about courage this year, I might have chosen a different word, such as “peaceful” or “blessing” or maybe even “joy”! However, courage it was, and courage I have learned.
For a variety of reasons, my husband and I had moved to a town unfamiliar to us. It was new and different, but not necessarily a bad place. However, during this time in this new environment, we faced several challenges. (…and I’m using that word lightly.) Trials, pain, confusion, loss and more, were the things that were placed before us. Mountains that seemed to be indestructible stood in our path, and, the enemy, being a resourceful foe, used our new location to amplify our feelings of loss by keeping us isolated.
It is so important to remain in fellowship with other members of the Body of Christ. God created us as beings that should lift each other up and support one another during times of trial.
The unrest and isolation that we felt remained for many months and we knew we had to make a change. We felt that our move to that new place had been the wrong choice, but also knew that God has a plan in all things. We prayed for guidance, desperately asking God to show us what to do. We prayed for doors to be opened and for our hearts to heal. We prayed for Him to show us the way and to bring us to a community where we were supposed to be.
Several times during the year, we ran a bit a head of Him in our quest to know His will. And at each of those times, God made it known that we were to wait right where we were. He had something planned, but it wasn’t the right time to reveal it.
Looking back I can see that even while we were waiting, God was working. And as we waited, we learned to trust. It takes courage to trust. I think that was the crucial lesson God wanted to teach me this year.
Following the rejection of our daughter, I had to have courage to trust God. Rather than keep wondering why things happened the way they did, and why God allowed this huge loss into our lives, I needed to learn to trust that God had a plan. My prayers for her changed from “heal me” to “heal her”…and peace began to settle on my heart. I still feel the heavy ache of grief over what is gone, but I have gained courage to face that grief. Later, when the chaos concerning my mom’s health and mind confronted us, it took courage to release my feelings of guilt and responsibility for her care. I learned that to please God rather than people is a scary thing, but with God, the courage came to follow Him alone.
Then, amazingly, when things seemed the darkest, God opened a door. It was just a crack at first, but the crack was wide enough to let the bright light in which displaced the darkness that we felt. Once we acknowledged that God was in control we took a step of faith and a path became clear. Our steps seemed directed and purposeful for the first time in months. As God continued to open door after door, we could sense that He was letting us know our time of waiting was over.
And this brings me to where I am today. I am a more courageous woman than I was a year ago. My faith has grown and I am trusting God more each day. We have moved back home and are again fellowshipping with our church family. This is a joy that I can’t find the words to fully express. I am so thankful! The journey over these past several months has been a very difficult one. However, through it all, our God has been faithful. He has brought us to a place of strength in Him that is marked by courage learned the hard way. But, the hard way is sometimes the best way and I am thanking God for His perfect plan.
Trusting Him with courage,
Sometimes God allows the mountains so we can become stronger warriors for Him. We could all use some courage. Thanks for sharing from the heart. 🙂