“Just the stats, Ma’am.” Good thing that’s not all God sees!
Ignore the bad lighting— I swear I have eyebrows;) And don’t usually squint quite that much!But- I’m NEVER in any pics.. and was glad a neighbor offered to take one on Mothers Day!
“What makes life on this frightful sod so exquisite is God’s merciful propensity to perform divine tasks amid deeply flawed people.”
~ Beth Moore, LPM Blog ~
It doesn’t make sense. Totally illogical. When I write up the “stats” on my life, I probably wouldn’t trust myself to wash dishes, let alone raise 3 incredible sons, be wife to a great man, or write ANYTHING, except maybe a grocery list- and that- I’d wonder about.
The stats:
Parents Divorced (When I was 16, the divorce rate for adult-children of divorce is extremely high)
Experienced Abuse
Dad a recovering substance abuser. (multiple addictions- alcohol to cocaine, praise God he’s been sober for over 18 years!)
Poor choices during teen years.
Probable learning ability issues with writing. (handwriting- not legible.)
ADD- un diagnosed.
Speech Impediment during elementary years. (I can, however- now say the mantra of my elementary years…”She sells sea shells by the sea shore!” )
Pride issues. (yes there will be a theme here;)
A need (ok, a strong desire) to be “right.”
Immaturity.
Insecurity.
A tendancy towards both avoidance and escalation, of conflict.
Perfectionism.
This is the “very short” list of my “deep flaws.” I’ll spare you the gory details.
Sometimes I feel like “Dr Spock” trying to understand the “illogical” processes of Captain Kirk. We used to watch Star Trek on Sunday afternoons, while eating dinner in front of the TV. I loved Dr Spock. (I know the rest of you loved Captain Kirk- you can have him) Sadly, Dr Spock was often confused by Captain Kirk. Usually when it came to emotions. Issues not of logic, but of love.
I can relate, as, I’m often, admittedly, confused by God, usually on the same types of issues. Sunday was Mother’s Day, and it made me think about what an amazing and holy, calling I have. A calling to care for, train and mentor 3 young men, (my sons) and to minister to the needs of an amazing man, my husband. It also made me think of my “stats.” And how those don’t exactly add up to a resume fit for a Mom, let alone, a writer.
But, here I am. Imperfect. Flawed. Messy, even. Good thing He doesn’t call me, then leave me to do the tasks. He does them through me, when I let Him.
One of our family traditions (My husband’s idea, actually) is to verbally “bless” someone on their special day (Birthdays- etc). We each share some thought, memory or story that is meaningful and communicates what we think of that person. (Ummmmm “you cook good dinners” is a fallback- freebee for me….)
This Sunday, my family shared things about me. I nearly cried. It wasn’t my list of flaws, that they listed. It was things God has done in and through me. Like being patient and understanding. (When I am naturally impatient and inflexible) Listening, (I’m a talker- not so much a listener. Somedays, I even wonder why God bothered giving me ears- (I don’t use ’em much) They called me “Loving”. When I’m actually, naturally critical. Although they see and know my flaws, that isn’t what they experience. They experience God through me. Amazing.
Totally illogical. Totally God’s mercy. God’s complete doing. If my kids survive my mothering- and become adults that honor Him and have some semblance of health, it will have very little to do with me- and EVERYTHING to do with Him.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
“Dear Jesus- I’m a mess- the stat’s aren’t good. If I were doing the choosing- I’d pick someone else, someone better qualified for the tasks before me. Yet- you choose me, deep flaws and all. Thank you God- for the amazing honor of serving you in and out of my home. I ask you to perform these divine tasks- through me. I love you, Lord- amen!”
For more participants in CWO’s In Other Words Meme- Stop By Laurel’s blog, she’s our host this week!
Bless you sweet one.
Go Tracy! Great thoughts! I am thankful to know that God doesn’t look at my resume first – He makes it with His very own hands. Thanks for sharing!
Tracy,
Your post brought tears to me eyes. Thank you so much for sharing. What a wonderful family, love and life you have. Thanks for reminding us that blessing others is so wonderful and that they and God love us despite our flaws. I love your family picture. May the Lord Bless you this week and always.
In his endless love,
Angel ( Angel Mama Pearls of Wisdom)
Tracy,
What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing, your post brought tears to my eyes. Thanks also for reminding us to bless others, and that they and God will love us despite our flaws. I love your family picture. What a beautiful family and life you now have. May the Lord bless you this week and always.
In his endless love ,
Angel Mama ( Pearls of Wisdom)
sorry it didn’t take at first and I ended up doing again. So sorry Tracey.
I loved how you began this post! I have many of those same stats and am amazed at what God uses out of those stats that I would rather hide! Thank you for the reminder that “If my kids survive my mothering- and become adults that honor Him and have some semblance of health, it will have very little to do with me- and EVERYTHING to do with Him.” This is a blessing to me today!
Statistically I am a mess as well. Praise Him for His grace! What a sweet tradition of blessing on special days. I may have to incorporate that idea. Blessings to you for sharing.
I read this post and All i can think of is how cherished you are to all of us……
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
sheesh. yes-the Kyle is my husband. Good thing I haven”t put on mascara yet;)
Tracey,
This post really spoke to me. My Stats are long and ugly. Unbelievably they are redeemed. It causes me to fall down before the throne in wonder and profound love for my Savior.
Thank you.
What a great encouraging hopeful post! Thanks for sharing. Love the photo, also. I’m generally the photo taker. It’s nice to get in one once in a while! Blessings on you and your men!
Beautiful post… I love your list! Mine’s very similar. Isn’t it amazing what God does?
I feel you Sweet Girl!! We have all had our share of “hard knocks” but somehow Jesus chooses to love us and use us anyway!! The beauty of it all, is that through these trials and tribulations he is actually perfecting us! Amazing!!! He never ceases to amaze me!!! Have a great day!!!
I have my list of faults too….I am so glad that my family sees more of the positives than the negatives…..
Thanks for sharing
Blessings
Wonderful post and family photo…
Tracey-
I share so many of your flaws. I love your word choice of “illogical”. The deep love that our Father has for us really does defy logic.
Jenny
Tracey-
Great job today! If we all were honest, we have many of the same flaws. It’s a wonder anyone sees Jesus through our human-ness, but Thank God! they do! And when they do, we are making people rich in Him. Thank you for your honesty.
Excellent post on the quote . . . I doubt that any of us would be able to make it on our worldly stats. “He does them through me, when I let Him.” I have experienced that and it is an amazing thing . . . wish it happened more often.