Learning to Listen
“Too many of us speak twice before we think.”
Anonymous
I have a confession to make. Okay, here goes my name is Bernadine and I sometimes often, speak before I think. There I’ve said it and I actually feel a little better, lol. It’s so easy when someone comes to us with a problem to immediately feel on some level that we have the answer even before we hear the complete story. In fact I’ve been guilty a time or two of actually mentally hurrying my friends or family members along so that I could give them what I saw as the solution to their problems. Sometimes, the answer seemed so obvious that I wondered how the person couldn’t see it. Yes, I know it sounds quite arrogant. But, I thought I was being a good friend until one day someone said to me, “Bernie, I don’t need advice, I just need a listening ear.”
As I reflected on the conversation a few days later I realized that I am sometimes too quick to dispense advice. The apostle James said,
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:19 (emphasis mine)
I am trying very hard to live this verse. Believe me, at times it’s not easy and at times I fail dismally. However, like the chorus of a song I like says,
He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He’s still working on me.Joel Hemphill
Consequently, I’m learning to listen. I’ve come to the realization that if I cannot quiet my mind and mouth enough to listen to the person who’s sitting opposite me or is talking to me on the phone then it’s going to carry over into my quiet time with my heavenly father. How many times do I miss His still small voice because I refuse to just sit and listen?
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 7 (KJV emphasis mine)
My prayer today is that He will help me to listen until He prompts me to speak.
I absolutley could have written this one (although not nearly as well Bernadine). I am working on listening too. Sometimes I am so busy formulating my “brilliant’ response I don’t even listen to the complete story. And I’m a terrible interupter. Thanks so much for writing this. I know it’s a gentle nudge from the Lord.
this post is bound to convict many of us. I’ll bet we’re a primarily female audience, and I really think that as women, one of our biggest battles is the fight to control our tongue (which is only half the way to listening.) I’m guilty. Listening really is an art, and I am so thankful for hte people who listen to me. We can even be guilty of this when we are skimming rather than reading and taking in emails and blog posts, rushing to comment before really thinking about what’s been said. The internet probaly makes us worse listeners, becasue we can skim away with no one watching, roll our eyes without offending, skip whole paragraphs…
I, too, am learning to listen and not be so hasty to speak, especially when it comes to my husband. The Lord is working in me and I can sure tell the difference!
Thanks for this wonderful post. I am learning to be a silent listener,too. And also find sometime I could not control my mouth to show my opinion when chat with my friends. So let pray the Lord help us to be a nice listener and wise child.
Too many times I catch myself interrupting someone so that I could give my opinion. Or share something about myself. James 1:19 is a great verse to memorize. It reminds me often to be quiet and listen.
Bernadine,
This IS convicting. I am one of those who can open my mouth and insert my entire foot. It happened Sunday. The Lord worked me over this event and now here I read this scripture.
You wrote this for me. I will print this out and keep it with me. I am going to make every effort to live it as well. Wonderful.