Caring For The Widow

“The church should care for any widow who has no one else to care for her.  But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God very much.”  1 Timothy 5:3, 4 (NLT)

This past year has been a very difficult year for our family.  It has been a year of multiple changes in our lives to say the least!  My widowed mother-in-law passed away in December after a 3 year battle with Alzheimer’s; my step-father passed away in May of this year after a battle with kidney failure; and my family and I packed up and moved cross country to start a new chapter in our lives in Pennsylvania.

Part of our decision to move across country was the above scripture verses and God’s leading.  Last year, realizing that my mother would be a widow in the near future had made me ponder upon my responsibility to my mother.    At the same time I also desired to be closer to my family after 33 years of living far away from my family.   This would require my husband to leave his steady employment and ministry in a very tumultuous economy to say the least.  How could I ask my husband to do that?

“Oh ye of little faith” the Lord exclaimed!  I should have known that God was working on Jim’s heart as well.   By faith, Jim and I made the decision to move to Pennsylvania to be near my newly widowed mother.  This meant taking a job that pays 1/3 of what my husband was making; no benefits (including healthcare), and living in a 5^th wheel trailer in a campground!  Scary choice to make at any age, but here we are in our 50’s – starting all over again!

Do we regret our decision?  Are our struggles to difficult for us?  NO!  Out of obedience to God’s Word, we are taking care of my widowed mother.  This has meant some sacrifices on our part, but as the scripture says, it’s our responsibility to repay our parents for taking care of us!

Now I realize that many of you are not in a position to pack up and leave everything behind and start afresh somewhere else.  But I urge you now, if you have aging parents, you need to start to plan how you will care for them as they get older.  Maybe you live nearby, then visit them often and plan on work days around their home as well.  If you live a distance, then maybe talk with your parents about the possibility of them living closer to you, or even with you.

My mother is a very independent woman to say the least, and for her to ask for assistance is very difficult, but she is learning.  In the mean time, if we see something around the house that needs to be done, we just do it!   We invite ourselves over for dinner about once a week or so, sometimes even doing the cooking for her. We have found that she does not cook for herself and just snacks on “junk” most days.  The other day my daughter called her Nana to say she was dropping by to pick something up the next morning.  When Heather arrived her Nana asked her to join her for breakfast.  At first Heather thought, “I really need to get back home”, but then she thought, “Oh, why not”.  She was so delighted she stayed; they had such a sweet time fellowship.  It make me think that I too need to just stop by more often and visit even if it’s for a half hour.  Or take mom to lunch or go shopping with mom.  Or as I did this past weekend, spend the weekend with her and watch movies and play games.

The Lord has truly blessed us these past few months since we have moved to be near my widowed mother.  It has been a struggle financially, but God has graciously supplied all our needs!

I do not know how many more years we will have my 86 year old mother with us, but in the mean time we will do our best to honor her, and care for her as God’s Word instructs us.

Today my mother gave me this poem she found years ago in an Ann Landers column.  She said she plans on making a copy of this and giving it to each of her children.  I thought it went well with my post.

To My Children

Written by Virginia Bass of El Cajon, CA

When I spill some food on my nice clean dress

Or maybe forget to tie my shoe,

Please be patient and perhaps reminisce

About the many hours I spent with you.

When I taught you how to eat with care,

Plus tying laces and your numbers too,

Dressing yourself and combing your hair,

Those were precious hours spent with you.

So when I forget what I was about to say,

Just give me a minute – or maybe two.

It probably wasn’t important anyway,

And I would much rather listen just to you.

If I tell the story one more time,

And you know the ending through and through,

Please remember your first nursery rhyme

When I rehearsed it a hundred times with you.

When my legs are tired and it’s hard to stand

Or walk the steady pace that I would like to do,

Please take me carefully by my hand,

And guide me now as I so often did for you.

Beelieve You Can!

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