How to be an Encouragement
My daughter told me on the way home from school today that she was disappointed with her handwriting grade. They have just introduced cursive writing into her class and she struggles to make her all her loop-di-loops perfectly on the lines. I wanted to encourage her by reminding her that every time she learns something new, it is hard at first, but once she gets the hang of it, she does great.
So, I started to tell her about how terrible her handwriting was in second grade and how her teacher commented that she needed to slow down and paying attention to the details instead of rushing through her writing. Before I finished the story, I turned around to see her crying in the back seat. Although my goal had been to make her feel good with my reminiscing, I had made her cry. I explained that I wasn’t finished with my story and the point was that her handwriting had shown great improvement by the end of second grade.
It seems that I am good at this type of “encouragement”….I try to motivate my students by pointing out the ways they fall short of the goal. Or, I think I will kick myself into gear by making rigid plans for the day, outlining goals and forcing myself to follow the plan. What happens is, I end up feeling discouraged before I even begin and give up.
When the Bible tells us to “spur one another on,” I wonder if there is a better way to do that. Pointing out failures or setting unreachable goals doesn’t seem to accomplish much, except a feeling of defeat. I think that most of us are spurred on best by positive reinforcement.
What my daughter really wanted to hear in the car today was that I still loved her and that I still believed that she could succeed in this challenge. She wanted me to be the person on the sidelines of the race, screaming out her name, cheering her on, lifting her spirits to find a second wind.
That’s what I need too and I’m pretty sure that’s the secret to motivating anyone to accomplish a goal.
To be this kind of encourager, I need to stop trying to point out errors and weaknesses and change my focus to successes and strengths. Philippians 4:8 makes it clear that we are to focus on whatever is excellent or praiseworthy and that’s the type of person I want to be.
So, when you think of a family member, friend or co-worker who needs a little encouragement right now, can you find something that’s “praiseworthy”? Because praise builds up (instead of tearing down) and hope is what spurs us on to greater things (for His glory!)
Fantastic post.
Sometimes when I am feeling bad about something, I talk to someone about it. People tend to like to fix things and often offer ways to improve.
However, there are times when a listening ear is all that’s needed. Somehow the affirmation that I’m still OK despite the problem can often spur me on.
I love your honesty and how you can look back at a situation and recognize what was needed. What a fortunate daughter you have. She has a mother who admits when she flubs up. That’s priceless!
Blessings,
Debbie
AMEN! Sometimes we just need someone to love us and encourage us along the journey.
Hugs, andrea
Boy Heather,
I could have written this exact post. So similar to me and my daughter. Needed this today. Thank you. I want to love and not be critical. Hugging you. Lynn
I enjoyed this, Heather, and saw parts of how I can be that way myself in what you wrote. Great post.
God bless,
Bethany
I agree with you on this one. Encouragement is my passion, because I know it makes a difference for me! I believe if we could learn to say encouraging words to our kids and each other, we could change the world one person at a time.
Looking for something special to encourage and motivate your loved one when you are not with them? Remind them that you are behind them 100 percent when they wear the new “GO FOR IT” and “YOU CAN DO IT” bracelet.
The battle for courage begins and is won by believing. These powerful words will help them believe in themselves to find their own potential and give them strength to take that extra step.
How to encourage
Amen…wonderful advice…
Being encouraging to others can be a tricky thing. I love what Paul shares in Philippians 4:8 – great pointers to take to heart.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts today with us.