My Faith, His Glory

Faith is something that I’ve always had – even when I didn’t believe or at least understand what role Jesus had in my life. Growing up in a religious family, faith was something that just was part of our lives even though, at least in my case, a belief in Jesus as my Savior, was not. I understood Jesus to be the Son of God – literally – as part of the Trinity that was God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I understood that He died on the cross for us. I even knew that He would come again.

I knew all this, but I did not know that I could have a relationship with Christ, and, through Him, with God the Father and the Holy Spirit. These were the names I rote-ly recited whenever I did the sign of the cross. And while I turned from the religion that I was raised in even before I left my childhood home, I always had faith.

I had faith in a God that existed in heaven. I had faith that He created the world and would judge us. I just didn’t have faith that He would save me through His doing rather than my own. By it’s very definition, faith seemed to require action on my part.

Faith is defined as “complete trust or confidence in someone or something” or a “strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.”

To me, that made sense – if I had faith in God, it was my doing. I believed in Him or I did not. I did not attribute my belief or unbelief in any way to anyone but myself. I never saw faith as something I had been given by God. It was something I could choose or discard. It was about me just as much as everything else was in one way or another.

And then it was not.

In March several years back, I attended a luncheon where I was introduced to Christ as a Savior who died on the cross for my sins. My sins – that was about me. That was the one thing about me I could have done without facing. And yet, with that knowledge also came the chance to be forgiven. To live forever in relationship with Jesus Christ, and, through Him, God the Father.

Still, that was about me. I could be forgiven. I could have a relationship. I could…

… have something beyond me.

I could have faith.

I could have a real faith – a different faith – one that didn’t seem to come from me – from what I believed as much as from what I desperately needed and longed for… One that seemed to come from Someone other than myself – yet within me.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” – Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)

That’s what it was – a gift. It was not of my doing – it was not because I was good enough, believed enough or even knew enough. It was because God gave me that faith – right there on the spot. I didn’t go looking for it. To the contrary, I showed up skeptical of anything having to do with the God I never really understood. The God who had allowed my earthly father to die of cancer. The God I knew was not a God I had faith in as someone who wanted me. He was certainly not a God I wanted to know.

Yet, I sought Him out over and over in my life, trying to return to the only religious system I knew when I moved, when I was troubled and when my firstborn was young. It was not by my faith that I sought Him, but by that faith He had already given me.

“…for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” – Hebrews 11:6b (ESV)

I don’t really know if I believed He would reward me when I sought Him out during my father’s battle with cancer or any other time in my life. I don’t know whether I believed that or I believed that He did reward those who sought Him if they were worthy of His love – something I was not.

Still, He sought me out, and, eventually, I surrendered my will to the faith He gave me and believed what I could not see – what I could not choose to believe as a fact other than by faith – that Jesus, my God, became man for the sake of all mankind, died on the cross for my sins and for yours and rose again so that all that believe – including me – may have eternal life.

Faith.

This faith that I claim because His Word says I can comes from Him. It overcomes the world – sin – unworthiness – satan. It is not something I can brag about because it is a gift from Him. Instead, it takes away my pride as I cannot take credit even in believing.

“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith.” 1 John 5:4 (ESV)

Faith. Faith is victory over unbelief. Faith glorifies…

…it glorifies Him.

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