Faithfulness

Faithfulness, Faithfulness is what I long for, faithfulness is what I need…

As I sat down to write this post the above song came to my head. It brought back memories.

It was about 7 years ago and we had just moved to Massachusett’s. We only lived there for 18 months. In that time I went from being a mother of one with a stay-at-home husband who lived near family to a mother of two with a go-to-work husband living 12 hours away from family. In that time my husband’s grandmother passed away. A few months later we were moving back home to be with his dad who had colon cancer and his father died while we were mid-move. During the same time my mother informed me of my dad’s decision to divorce her. We ended up staying at my grandparent’s house, living upstairs with our two adventurous little ones, traveling an hour away to help with the funeral and all the arrangements, traveling 45 minutes to church, spending much time on the phone and visiting my mother comforting her, and trying to make ends meet while we awaited the sale of our condo in Massachusetts. (Condo sounds ritzy, it wasn’t, it was the only affordable option in a place where apartments cost $2000 a month.) Three months later we were living in our own home, large enough for our growing family and my husband’s home office, four times the size of the condo, costing $10,000 less the selling price of the condo–enough to pay all the moving fees and buy what we had to leave behind when we moved. Within a month of moving in I was pregnant with our third which meant home iv’s and bed rest for several months as my husband, now home picked up the slack in the child-raising and household department.

I remember first hearing that song and longing to be faithful to Him. I was still learning how to walk closer to Him, how to trust Him with our lives, how to not worry and to rely on Him. How I longed for faithfulness.

Seven years later, I look back and see how He timed everything perfectly. So much of that time was hard and yet He carried us through. How faithful He was. And now I see, that part of my learning to be faithful was to watch my Father in heaven, who would never leave us, never walk away from us, never let us fall, despite our foolish choices and attempts to sabotage His plan for us. How could I possibly leave such an amazing God, who has been over and above anything I could imagine.

Oh, I still struggle in the little daily things, like not yelling at the kids, having a good attitude, making deliberate time with Him, but He has trained my puny faith through trial and I have learned that :

… neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~Romans 8:38-39

How has He trained your faith?

Lord, thank you for your faithfulness. Lord, You alone have seen us through all of our trials and You alone can be trusted for the future. Lord, train our faith and help us to know You better. You are amazing and awesome God and I love You.

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