Feeling Unloved?
There are days…probably for most all of us….when we feel a bit “down and out”. I remember when our girls were growing up there would be days when they would be so pitiful and say with such passion, “nobody loves me”.
Haven’t we all felt that way? We know in our deepest heart that we are loved, but somehow the pressures or stresses of life— so overwhelm us that we start sinking into ourselves and the enemy can cause us to believe that we are nothing special….not lovable….not desirable….completely forgettable. But sweet friend…that is not so at all.
Last year, I seemed to have a time “down and outness” (I do realize I just made up a word). Not that I didn’t feel loved….but that I was completely overwhelmed with the “stuff” of life. Pain had kept me from going 90 miles an hour (as was my usual pace this time of year)….my work was a bit behind, due to being out with back problems… I had none of the gusto I normally have. I had been talking to the Lord, partly out loud when I was alone, and partly in my heart–head.
It was during that time I had a conversation with my Father that went something like this:
“This is so aggravating!” I fumed—out loud—as I hung up the phone rather sharply after the one-thousandth phone call of the day. Why don’t they stop calling and let me get something done!”
“They have needs.”
“So do I!—Hel—lll—oooo—-remember my need? I am hurting here! This is just too much!”
Then the call came. At exactly 3:16 p.m. From a man named John. Can’t give you his last name…client confidentiality and all that…but that’s not the point….the call came from John at 3:16. And the Lord’s message to my heart came through LOUD and CLEAR.
“Angie, I do love you, and I care about every detail of your life. But I need you to focus on Me. For I loved you so much….I gave My All. So that you would have ever lasting life. With Me. Do you understand child?”
You may think I made this up…but sorry. I’m not that clever. You see John calls our office frequently. As does Beth, Ricky, Bruce, Miss Mary, my employer’s family members, amidst tons of clients. So why did John call at exactly 3:16? Why not 3:17? Or 3:15? Because my Father had a message. For me. Since it is my custom to take down the exact time and date of each and every call…God knew I’d notice.
Since we use duplicate message books, I have a copy of the message I took to prove this call came. When the call came, His love flooded my heart. Not the love from the caller….but the love from the Caller. My Father.
Allow me now to back up to a the time I was sitting in a doctors office waiting to meet with the “one” that supposedly has the answers for my pain. The Lord showed me exactly Who has the answers to not only my pain, but the healing as well. Not only the healing, but He has the answer to the questions in my heart. No, the answers may not come when we ask. Sometimes the answers come after a time of trial. So that we can see. See with eyes of the heart (spiritual), and not just eyes of the head (physical).
My thought was spurred on that day by a handmade cross and real nail sitting on the desk. I was thinking of all the things I should be doing rather than “wasting time” in a doctors office. If you know me at all….you know that going to the doctor for me is the ultimate last resort. When I have exhausted every home remedy known to mankind, then I will go to the doctor.
Do we treat our “soul needs” the same way? When we have exhausted every effort in trying to “fix” whatever the problem is our self…then we go to the Father….When you are feeling unloved, in pain, left out, alone, scared, depressed, heartsick, burdened with something you can’t seem to put a name to, place your hand on the nail. Feel the love—it came with the pain of everything we could possibly endure today….and more.
For He loved us enough to die for all the sins we would ever commit. Not just you and I. But for every single human being in this entire world. Living, dead or yet to be born.
All of us.
I wish I had read Max Lucado’s book 3:16. If I had, then I could probably do a better job writing this. But since it is still sitting on my shelf “waiting” for it’s time…it is still unread. But the message I am sharing today is the message He had for me.
I am loved. You are loved. God proved it in a manger. In a stinky musty barn. Alone with just His earthly parents. The onlookers that were in His “waiting room” were just some farm animals. No calls were made by humans. But the Lord of Hosts sent His message out by special messenger.
“And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shown round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men’.” (Luke 2:9-14 KJV)
And so, as God proved His love for us on the day Christ became one of us….that love was proven again on Calvary….when God gave His only begotten Son, so that whosoever believed in Him, would not perish, but would have everlasting life….with Him. That same love is proven time and time again. To each one of us.
So precious friend…if you are feeling unloved….put your hand on the nail. The sharp end. Feel the love.
“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12 NIV
Trusting Him,
Angie
Adapted from the Archives of “The Knightly News”. Used by permission. Copyright 2007-2009. All rights reserved.
Amen my dear friend, amen.
How easily we get wrapped up in our human messes and forget that each one of them was planned and has been prepared for already. Prasie God for that nail!
Beautifully said, dear lady, and just what I needed to read today! Chris Rice sings a song that has the line – “Sometimes Love has to drive the nail into it’s own hand”, and it always touches me just as your post has today. My prayers are with you and your family today.
Oh Angie,
Put my hand on the nail. I am choked up. Girl, love you.
Dear Angie, this post has touched my heart. I’m feeling down today and really needed this. I’m a bit in the “poor me” mode and this reality was delivered from the hand of God. Thank you.
I don’t like to think of it being my hand that touched the nails and drove them in… but it’s oh so true!
And how appropriate that my anti-spam word is Forgiven!
Love you my friend.
Angie, this post was just what I needed. I’m glad I read it today, at the beginning of a new week.
Hello , and thank you for your sweet and lovely blog. I read quite a bit and just want to share with you the beauty of your spirit and Gods spirit are truly infused here,,,what an inspiration, thank you for your understanding , it’s amazing.
After reading your post, I felt a bit better than I did before I came across it. I do depend on my great God for the love and Friendship I miss from fellow humans, including other Christians. As I scrolled down to read comments from your other readers, I could not help surmise most are much younger than I. This October, I will turn 68, if the Lord see fit to let me see another birthday. My wife of 63 feels the same as I do.
I have lived long enough to have done many things, including two military services during Vietnam and later during Desert Storm. He gave me a rare gift on this side of the Atlantic, being a bagpiper which I feel he has used many times to play for funerals, both civilian and military. But nowadays, I feel my life is nearly over, the friends I once had are no longer around, and people I meet treat me as if I have nothing really important to give. I am not having a pity party, just trusting my Saviour to help me cope with this in my remaining days on earth. I will try to remember pray for you and your family. Family life these days is not an easy way to go, but I still believe our God can get us through it all.
Wonderful article! I just feel so alone and really unloved and unlovable at the moment. I have felt made fun of by my own father recently. I get resentment from my own mother too cause she was hoping I would have made my own life by now and somehow I regret I didn’t leave twenty years ago. I think that the reason I feel unloved is because my life seems like a life fit for a ‘loser’. You’re more likely to live like this if you have some kind of horrid handicap like autism like I do. So in other words no one is likely to love me if I seem to have not much to offer people except what I happen to do at home-gardening, playing the piano, housework, and reading. I think they resent me because I’m not out earning money. I had times in the last five years when I was in tears over why my life seems ‘ruined’.
You ARE loved. Friend Your Heavenly Father gave everything for you and me. He makes no mistakes. There are no moments in our lives lost when we are giving everything we have to Him. It is often hard to see our potential because our eyes focus differently than HIS. If we could see as He sees, we would let out stress dissolve—but we can’t so trusting Him is critical in our walk. Faith and trust in knowing beyond a doubt that He loves us. Gave HIS only Son for our lives. So that we might live eternally with HIM.
Thank you for reading the words He gave me to write so long ago. It reminds me what He gives cannot be taken away.
Be blessed today.
Hi Angie your comment cheered me up so much. Thank you for your reply. I’m rather young and I’m often harshly judged by some old people where I live. I’m often judged on my character and my behavior and even my belief in God if I dare complain especially around my dad so I avoid it. I have been lucky to have a sibling to talk to. Just one but he’s so busy too. I often felt it worse being a female even. Sure I have read the Bible and prayed during all this time. I wish I was hanging out with friends having a good time with them. I laugh little. I haven’t had that since I was a kid.
I thought my dad stood beside me. I felt hated today especially when I expressed my opinions to mother and my dad just jumps in and starts reminding me of something of my past. It kind of hurt me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it or not.
Since dad tried to tear me down then all of a sudden I needed someone to talk to. So I talked to another person closest to me. Sadly it seemed like a real mistake. I felt worse after I talked. I didn’t feel uplifted at all. I felt treated like I was impractical and selfish like others wouldn’t like me very much either. I know God loves me despite the fact that I have felt treated like I don’t amount to much of anything. Inside of me I ‘know’ it just ISN’T the case. I KNOW for a fact that God loves me and He would never treat me like this. Today is one of those days when I’m finding it hard to see any evidence of it for myself.
Angie, I would like to get to know you better. I sure needed it that one awful day just before you emailed me.
Here I’ve had company. My brother came along with his five kids. I had a wonderful time playing a game with them and showed them the land. They very much liked that. Now I’m feeling a real letdown. Here my brother took me somewhere and I went out to eat and unfortunately I got carsick and threw up when I got home. All my dad could say was ‘Did someone slap you across the mouth?’. I rested a bit and had to go online after such a nasty remark. My brother kind of laughed too. Maybe he was joking and I’m taking it a bit too seriously. It made me sad that he was still so kind to take me out to dinner. It seems like life is meant to kind of treat me bad. I feel like bad luck. You would think I would feel supported and loved. It’s just not so. I’m just hated. It seems like I’m hated so much I shouldn’t even think of existing very much longer. I’m already asking what will make me laugh again? Somebody came up to me in a store and gave me a tract and said that God loved me. Well that kind of cheered me up. That’s all I can think about that one act of someone giving me that concept that God still loved me no matter what. I was crazy to think his kids would want to play my keyboard and dance with me. They don’t do that stuff. Only I do. I’m just telling the facts like it is.
I have felt blessed to feel content part of the time. Today wasn’t one of those days. I had to respond to Dad who asked if there was a heater somewhere. I had to bring it to him and turn it on for him. Here I was in a hurry and I had to respond to him right now in the ‘right’ way. At first I misunderstand him. I was called a liar and worse like what I said came out of my rear! I just hated him today. I was all too glad to get out of the house and by the time I had shown up with Mother somewhere I was in tears and almost made a fool out of myself. I feel like hating myself too. Mother consoled me by taking me to a bookshop and getting me ice cream.
Part of me feels I don’t want to be on this earth anymore. I don’t trust myself. I have been filled with rage over the last couple days. I get tired of feeling made fun of and trying to deal and all. What a relief it would be if I accidentally died from the flu. Laughs!