Good Enough?
I grew up with faith. I know that’s not abnormal, but I walked away from it because I didn’t feel good enough and it was just so hard to be good enough. Good all the time. I couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t bear the guilt of not being good enough for God. Flash forward 20 plus years forward, and I became a Christian. I know the day exactly. I know the moment exactly and it’s been a whirlwind ever since. I fell in love with a Savior that forgives and forgets.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. – Romans 8:1
I fell in love with a Savior that gave me His righteousness in exchange for my sins. Who died on a cross so that I may live eternally with Him.
I fell in love with a Savior that has made me new.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17
And yet, I still sin and those old feelings return. I am not good enough for my Savior. I am not holy as He is holy.
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” – 1 Peter 1:14-16.
Which leaves me where we began. I am unworthy of my Savior. I am not good enough to serve Him – to be loved by Him. I am not good enough. And, quite frankly, I never will be as long as I live in this flesh we call a human body. Even then, I know that God commands us to live in this body so as to glorify Him, which I do not always do.
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were brought with a price. So glorify God in your body. – 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20
So, where does that leave me. Not good enough to be worthy of the Savior who gives me eternal life nor to have His Spirit live within me.
Not good enough is a hard place to live at. Its mirrors are curved so as to accentuate your flaws and hide the lovely transformation that is going on within. It is a cold, dark place where shame and guilt are blown up like your face in a fun house mirror. Condemning whispers can be heard from every crevice in the floor that is perilously placed on a foundation of quick sand.
And that’s the problem. It’s not in “not” being “good enough” but in believing the lies of Satan that being “good enough” was ever a criteria of salvation. Jesus came for the lost, for the sinners, for those “not good enough” by the world’s standards. He came because I am not good enough and He knows that we can allow the world to swallow us whole if we believe those lies.
It is His Spirit living in us that makes us good enough – in our brokenness, flaws, weakness and inadequacies – in those places, He will rise up and bring glory to Himself because if we were “good enough” we would never need a Savior in the first place. Nor would we continue to cling to Him and allow His Spirit to transform us.
That does not mean I can be bad to the bone, as George Thorogood sang about in the early 80s. Rather, it gives me hope that in obedience, surrender and enduring, God’s Spirit will change me – will transform me.
I am holy because He says I am. Not because I have done something good enough to earn the title of “holy” but because Jesus has – on the cross. And we are good enough because we have turned to Jesus to be our Savior and God. It is because of this that I am certain that my “goodness” or lack thereof is not measured by my failures but by my God’s ability to redeem me and glorify Jesus in the process. It is because of this that I praise Him not only when I get to heaven after I have been completely transformed, but here, on earth, as I go through the process of allowing His goodness to change me.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6
Nic, it is so beautiful to see you coming to this place. Today was a day that I really needed to hear this. I have been feeling “not good enough” all day and it has been wearing me down. Thanks for the reminder that once again my eyes have turned the wrong direction.
None of us are worthy but yet His Grace makes it possible to become new. So thankful for His Grace and forgiveness. Great post!
It is so good to know that He continue to change us until we meet Him face-to-face. I know that I will never be good enough to make it on my own to heaven, but it is comforting to know that He still loves me.
Wonderful post.