Helicopter Parents or Launching Pads?
In the early days of parenthood, I felt the enormity of my new job. I hurried to calm each cry, I swaddled my daughter close to my heart and drew her in so I could protect her from the harsh realities of this world. Ever since that day, I’ve been there for her when she needed me. I still calm her cries, but now they are more likely to come from disappointments or relationship woes. I still want to protect her from the world and I pray for her safety, but now I’m thinking more about emotional protection.
It’s completely natural for us as parents to huddle around our offspring and keep the cold world at bay, but I wonder if it’s really in our children’s best interest to always protect . Is protection our number one duty as parents?
When the popular girl doesn’t invite our child to her birthday party, do we interfere?
When she fails her assignment because she didn’t study, do we talk to the teacher?
When she forgets her lunch (or gloves, or instrument, or paperwork), do we rush off to retrieve it?
Or, do we see these as opportunities to pray for something that may be even more important that our protective mothering:
Spiritual Growth.
I want to be the parent who supports her daughter through the tough days and gives the hope for her to persevere and growth from difficult circumstances.
No where in Scripture are we exhorted to protect our children or ourselves. We are to pray for them and ask God to protect them, but our job as parents is much more important than protection. Ephesians 6:4 says that we are to “…bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Hardship will come to our children and I want to train them to handle it with God at their side. I want to instruct them; to teach my children how to turn to God and His word for strength in difficulties, instead of hiding away or shirking responsibilities. We’ve become a generation of helicopter parents because we want what’s best for our children, but how do they learn and grow if we remove all obstacles from their way? How will they experience the triumph of courageous success if we never let them venture out into their own adventures? How will they become strong responsible young Christians if we swoop in to rescue them any time they fall?
Instead of being a parent who hovers over my child, ready to intervene at any moment, I want to give my children their own wings. I want to teach my kids how to rise above their circumstances.
Heather
P.S. Can I pray for you and your children? Leave a prayer request in the comments for me!
Nice post.
This is so true,yet hard to do at times. My boy are getting bigger and they are starting to have disappointments. At times I want to intervene,but my husband says to let it be. That’s so hard to do when I’ve protected them from such a young age. Thank you sharing with us,Heather! My boys are Daniel (6),Aaron (4 1/2), and Johnathan (2 1/2).
Yes it is hard and seems to be a growing process as we come to new ages. Good reminder! Thanks :). My son is Caleb.
It is so true, Heather that we want to protect our children from every hurt in the world. But you are also right that our children need to learn to trust God and sometimes that means that their knees get scraped.
Heather, this is very true. My oldest is now 22. I still struggle with standing back and watching him take the lead. The desire to protect our kids does not diminish no matter how old they get! I do thank the Lord, however, that so far he is doing a pretty good job of it on his own! Thanks for the reminder.