If you want to cultivate the fruits of the spirit… care for a sick loved one!
My husband recently had back surgery, and I have had the privilege of caring for him during the past month. This is the first time he has been hospitalized, and the first time he has been incapacitated for an extended period of time. Bill has cared for me many times–each time I gave birth to our three sons, when I was hospitalized with a heart condition, and during other illnesses. I was honestly happy to be able to care for him. The timing was perfect, as I’m not teaching this summer.
I learned a lot about myself during this time. Caring for someone who is ill is a great way to cultivate the fruits of the spirit! What a great bonus! Not only can I express my love for my husband, but I can grow closer to Jesus and become a more mature woman of God in the process–if I allow God to work on me.
Here are a few things I am learning. When a loved one is ill and in pain, a spirit of kindness and gentleness are essential. Kindness can help a loved one in pain cheer up a bit. Gentleness is necessary to avoid causing more pain, both physical and emotiona
l. A kind and gentle caregiver will make the illness and pain a bit more bearable. For my hubby, it was not only my own gentleness that helped, but we recently got a kitten, and ‘cat therapy’ also helped my husband and distracted him from the pain : )
Patience is a necessary ingredient for the caregiver. We need to be patient with ourselves, with our loved ones, and with God. The healing process often does not adhere to our schedule, and I have a tendency to become impatient. When my husband is in pain, I want it to go away now! As I am patient with the process, I can help him practice forbearance as well.
Faithfulness is integral to a good marriage, and part of our wedding vow was loving our spouse “in sickness and in health.” As we are faithful to “be with” our spouse and care for our spouse during any sickness, God will bless us, our spouse, and our marriage. We can grow closer to each other during the illness.
Of course, love is primary. As I mentioned in my last post, love is not a choice, but a command. We are commanded to love one another, and especially our spouses! But this love, combined with gentleness and kindness, can truly help in the healing process. As Paul states in 1 Corinthians 13: 5, “love … is not self-seeking…” When caring for an ill loved one “it’s not about you!” The attention and focus is on the one who is ill, as it should be. It reminds me of a new father. Everyone’s attention is on the newborn, secondarily on the new mom. The new dad gets very little attention! Similarly, the caregiver is focused on caring for the patient. The focus of the doctors, nurses, friends, and loved ones is on the patient. Rightly so!
I hope I have learned the lessons God has for me during this time, and I am thankful I could be here for my husband.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5: 22-23 NIV
I will be praying for both of you. God uses this schooling for advanced degrees in compassion for patients, medical personnel and caregivers. I’ve not finished this study myself.
Thank you, Luwana. I know you can empathize!
Yes, it is not easy to care for a loved one, especially our husbands. However, with God’s grace and mercy we can be a great caregiver.
Amen!
I just returned from a trip to Florida to help care for my 89-year-old dad. He had been hospitalized and needed help after he was discharged. It certainly does require the fruit of the Spirit. But God is so faithful and He provides what we need as we depend on Him. Beautiful post.