Living in Fast Forward Mode
Have you ever watched a movie in fast forward mode? Doesn’t make much sense does it? I’ve watched enough movies to know that in order to get the full effect and understanding of the movie, I have to watch it at its intended pace. When I do fast forward through what I consider the boring parts of the movies, I actually find myself having to rewind because I don’t quite understand what is happening and in those moments I realize that even the “boring” parts have its purpose.
Unfortunately, sometimes I treat my life with a little less respect and reverence than I do those movies. As I reflect on my life, the memories roll through my mind like scenes from a movie. However, the scenes are all in fast forward mode.
In one scene I say longingly to my friend, “I can’t wait for graduation. I’m tired of high school.” In an instant, I am marching up the aisle to my high school graduation. Fast forward a few years later, I say the same thing about college to another friend. The next scene I’m hugging friends with tears streaming down my face at my college graduation.
Fast forward a few months after college…I sign the bank loan to purchase my first car. The first words that come out of my mouth are “I wish the next three years would pass by quickly so I can finish paying for this car”… they did.
Three years ago I moved into my own home. When I looked at my paycheck and saw the big chunk that was missing I started to say, “I wish…” Before I could finish the thought, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Do you really intend to wish the next 20+ years of your life away?”
I stood there shocked. Was I really wishing my life away? As I reflect back, I realize that I spent a huge part of my life wishing it away. I chose many times to glamorize, long for and fantasize about the future, while not enjoying the gift of the present that God has blessed me with.
So many times when I witness, I remind people of the scripture, “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6:2b NKJV). I encourage them to choose God today because tomorrow is not promised. Yet, I’m often guilty of rushing today in anticipation of tomorrow.
Those days that I wished away seems so vivid in my mind as if it was just yesterday I was that high school student, that college girl, the new teacher with car payments but the reality is it was quite a few years ago. Those years that I wished away seemed to have gone by in an instant… just like life.
Did I enjoy life? Certainly I did. However, in retrospect I think I would have led a fuller, richer life if I had learned to enjoy each phase without longing for the next. Consequently, after living in fast forward mode for so long, I wish I could rewind just for a moment. I’d tell the new teacher with the car payments, the college girl, and the high school senior to enjoy the moment. Regard each moment as God’s gift to you because life is indeed just a vapor; and in the words of Carolyn Arends, “It slips away, just like hourglass sand.”
I’d tell my younger, fretful self that God has a plan and purpose for each phase of life. Like the caterpillar cannot become a butterfly unless he goes through the chrysalis stage, neither will we become the women of purpose and destiny God has called us to be without those phases in our lives that seem hard and unbearable.
I shared this post previously in Sanctified Together Newsletter
Dear Bernadine, I am always saying,”I wish this, I wish that, my husband says to me you are gonna wish your life away.” I know the thing I need to wish most fervently for is that Jesus will come really soon for His Bride, but I say I wish so and so would turn their life to Jesus, so on and on it goes. I always love your posts, Blessings Gloria
Oh Bernadine, how we often do wish our life away and instead of grabbing the very moment in front of us, we waste time and waste opportunities that God has given us. I dont want to wish any possiblilites to serve Him away. Thanks for sharing. 🙂