Wandering Paths of Perspective

“Mike?  Will you go outside and put the birdseed into the feeder for me?”  I called from the kitchen.  After exhausting every excuse he could invent (oh the joys of parenting teens;) He tromped outside (in shorts and his tennis shoes, in Michigan in the middle of winter…in the snow) to do what was required.  After a while— I noticed he still hadn’t come back in.  I went to the door to find out why.  I couldn’t see him.  Instead,  my eyes followed a crazy, men’s size 10 foot-path that wandered through the yard. 

It started at the door- went to one tree, then around another, it continued toward the patio and disappeared around the side of the house.  I looked at the bird feeder.  Yep.  It was full.   At least he’d been there.  But where was he now? At 18, I don’t worry (much) if he is out of sight, but I was to say the least, intrigued.  There were a good 6 inches of snow on the ground and he WAS wearing shorts….(I don’t even ask anymore;) Just as I was about to yell out the door to (humiliate) I mean,  locate him, I heard the front door open and shut.  

“Where were you?”  I asked. (I do not know why Moms ask questions like this… but we do.) “I put bird food in the feeder, like you asked me too.” He replied, stomping his feet to shake the snow from his tennis shoes.  “I didn’t ask you to hike through snow around the yard in shorts and a t-shirt for 20 minutes! Are you trying to freeze yourself to death, or catch a cold???” (Even if I know it’;s not true, we’ve been passing a virus around here, so I’m on high alert to germs 😉 I sounded like every lame, sit-com Mom ever on TV.  “I’m not cold… I was looking around.  There are a bunch of footprints out there, you know animals, sheesh! I did what you said! ”  He answered, through (slightly) chattering teeth. “Thanks.” I mumbled.  Annoyed- but not sure why.

I decided to back off.  (For once)  He had done what I asked, hadn’t her?   So, why was I annoyed?  I tried to let it go, chalking it up to a “mom thing.” But, every time I passed the patio door, I saw those foot prints. Those crazy, wandering footprints.  “Why couldn’t he just do what I said?  Why did he waste so much time wandering around, didn’t he know he could get sick or freeze or something?!”

“Why do you?” Said that still small voice.   I knew instantly, why I was annoyed.  It had nothing to do with my boy’s footprints.  It had everything to do with MINE.  If my days were mapped with footprints in snow, many of them would look like my son’s path.  I get done what I have to… eventually.  I’m not talking about laundry and dishes and projects and such, (although I tend to meander through those as well;) I’m talking about the things I feel like God is asking me to do.

Things like:

Love difficult people. Reach out, when it isn’t comfortable. (Hey it’s nice and toasty here in my little house;)   Stretch and grow in areas that I’d rather let atrophy or better yet- have surgically removed;) . 

When God asks me to do those things… I spend a lot of time traipsing around in the snow.  I don’t quite NOT do them…. I just don’t always DO them directly. Sometimes, to be honest,  I wonder if God knows what He’s doing… asking me to do them at all.  Sometimes, they just don’t make sense, (in a common sense kind of way) so I drag my feet in rebellion. Sometimes, I just don’t want to do them, so I hesitate, I wander. I  believe, that God knows how long it will take me to actually do something, and that He is patient and loving towards me, even in my wanderings….

But- I wonder what would be different, if I quit wasting so much time, going in circles?   

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