Slaying the Monster
The insidious monster reared its ugly head. I saw it- I was both repulsed and disturbed by its presence. I knew I should end it. I grabbed my sword. The next time it appeared, I would be ready! In a matter of seconds it appeared again. I took aim and swung with all my might, effectively separating its head from the body. Dead. Never to bother me again.
I do not know why I was surprised, when later, another appeared in its place. With yet another. I became aware of the sword in my hand. The weight of it. The way my hand began to sweat under pressure- the way it felt so slippery that I could drop it. I swing again- my implement of death making purchase just as it had before. I am victorious. But the enemy continues to multiply. I don’t know where to step. My arm is tired from the swinging. Will I ever truly be free of my tormentors?
My enemy is not snakes or spiders, or whatever monster your mind could conjure. No, it is worse. More deadly. It is evil thoughts that come to choke the life out of my Christian walk. It is a root of bitterness springing up, poisoning my heart, my attitude, and yes, eventually, my brain.
“For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13
How did I allow such evil in? It was quite simple, really. I was wronged. Wronged by another who should know better. Wronged in an intentional, deliberate, well-devised way. Wronged by one I once trusted.
Everything within me wants to justify these monstrous, deadly thoughts. The offender does not deserve my forgiveness. My offender is not sorry. My offender is smug in their right to treat me any way that suits them. My offender walks upon the shards of broken promises. Lies really. Never wincing. Convinced that the ends justifies the means.
But my sword hangs heavy in my hand. The Word of God. The Word that tells me to pray for and bless those that despitefully use me. The Word reminds me that love keeps no record of wrongs. The sword weighs upon my conscience. Its weightiness coming from the overload of truth tucked within the crisp, delicate pages.
Will I drop the sword in my fatigue? Will I use it as it is intended? Or will I, instead, lay it down and retreat? Retreat into the safety of my own walls? My defenses. My dysfunction. The place I have soothed myself before. The place where I justify wrong feelings and lick my own wounds inflicted by an enemy that once was a friend?
No! I cannot. I will stand. I will wield the sword. My right to feel wronged is bitter consolation. Christ, who died for me, tells me to mortify the deeds of the body. He urges me to forgive, that I might be forgiven. I realize, then, that it is ludicrous that I would rebel against the one who loves me so, just because another person slighted me. That can’t be right.
Do you understand the struggle? Are you struggling today with negative feelings? Anger? Hurt? Bitterness? Rage? Fear? Rejection? Abandonment?
Do not allow a bitter root to spring up in your heart! Pluck it out immediately! Wield the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. If you fight in the Spirit, you will not be defeated! You are well equipped to win, dressed in the armor of God. Do not abandon your defenses!
Dear Lord, I pray today for these dear readers, who are hurting. Wronged. Cheated. Tossed aside and rejected. I pray that in this very moment they will feel your tender arms of love wrapped around them. Help them to lay aside the need to defend themselves, and trust in your vengeance. Oh Lord, I abandon myself into your care. I will trust in you. I will wait on you. In you, I will find safety. And live! In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
I really needed to read this today. I have been hurt by someone recently and this really speaks to me about how to handle it. Thank you.
Diane, I am so glad it spoke to your heart! I pray you find grace and healing!
POWERFUL word girl! SO POWERFUL!
Thank you for the encouragement, dear sister!
Powerful Word today! ????
Great reminder to seek solace in His Word. It is often hard to defend against words from other; especially friends. May His peace be surround us in times of battle.