Suffering
Some moments in our lives, no matter how far in the past, stand out as though they happened only yesterday. The memory brings the same emotions – the pounding heart and palpable fear.
On a lovely summer day, when my son was just a little boy, he was viciously attacked by our neighbor’s dog. He had gone next-door with his older brother to play with a friend. Always fearful of dogs, he hung back when the friend assured him it would be okay if he petted his large, beautiful husky. Before anyone could take in what was happening, the dog lunged and took down my little boy. Had it not been for the friend’s father, I shudder to think what could have happened.
My day went from pleasant to terrifying when they brought him home – blood pouring from two tears in the side of his face. The trip to the E.R. is a blur. Somehow we got there. My next memory is of my boy’s tiny body on a large stretcher, and the doctor telling me to hold him down while he stitched up the side of his torn face.
I don’t know how I did it. He was terrified and in so much pain, and I felt as though I was taking part in his suffering. His eyes met mine as his strong little body pushed against me. I can only imagine what he was thinking.
After what seemed like an eternity, I was able to gather him into my arms and hold him tightly. I wanted nothing more than for him to know how much I loved him, that I never wanted anything to hurt him. How do you explain to a five year old that the pain was intended for his good? He finally relaxed, nestled into me and held on tight. He knew.
I’m not a little girl any longer. My childhood lies in the distant past. However, there have been moments in recent years when, like a suffering child, I’ve looked into my Father’s eyes and wondered why He allowed such pain to come to me. Moments when I cried out for an end to the suffering and heaven remained silent.
But I know Him, and though I cannot understand why He allows such circumstances to come into my life, I know He loves me. I know He is good. Sin has left its evil mark on our world and hard things come to everyone. He doesn’t erase the evil. He lovingly takes what was meant for our harm and brings something good from it. Sometimes I see the blessing right away. Sometimes understanding comes with the passing of time. Then there are those times I cannot see the good at all. It is in those moments He asks me to trust Him.
So I rest and nestle into His arms – this One who has never broken one promise and whose love is boundless.
Blessings,
Linda
Thank you, Linda, for your encouraging words. This was simply beautiful.
Your words are always a gift — thank you.
Thank you for the encouragement, Linda. It is true; we often can’t see the good from suffering, but we have to trust that God will work it all out.