Whatever It Takes To Win
It all started when my boss came to me with a request at work. He asked me to do something that felt as if I were being singled out from among my peers to be the only one to adhere to a new policy. There was a temptation to take offense, and I felt every telltale symptom begin to rise inside me.
I was indignant.
I couldn’t take my mind off the situation.
My outrage grew, and it began to upset me.
My shoulders tensed.
My mind raced, and my heart pounded.
All the while, I sat silently at my desk with a professional air carrying out my work. But be not mistaken. There was war going on in me.
My pride had been injured, and the urge to retaliate was intensifying with every passing moment.
I strategized ways to challenge the request, at least indirectly, and the arguments “for” and “against” began their dialogue in my head.
Confront it–you will feel better. At least you will make your point. He’ll know you know. This is unwarranted and unfair. Fight. Back!
But how does that help you? You’ll still have to comply with the request. Is this worth making waves?
But you can’t just take this on the chin silently.
I was almost too far gone when I realized this was a crucial moment. I knew what I must do.
Pray.
It didn’t come naturally; it came only by simple but hard obedience and a deliberate, excruciating bending of my will. In my mind I knew my desire to serve the Lord in every circumstance and at all times. But in that moment, my heart was telling me quite a different story.
The battle with temptation is always ugly. It turns beautiful only when we bend in our weakness. When we bend to God’s strength.
So I prayed. I forced myself to pray.
Lord, help me to fight the battles worth fighting, and not this one. I typed it on Facebook for some quasi-accountability. I put it out there, but it was vague enough that I hadn’t compromised my professionalism. Four “likes” later, and suddenly I knew I wasn’t alone. These few were cheering me on.
I spiritually backed away from the ledge, the Holy Spirit my escort. He began to still my stewing heart.
Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7).
Later that evening, tired and spent, I watched the day give way to night in the sunset sky. I watched steady quietness colored the fickle shade of pink that gives way to purple without my notice, even though I am watching. I thought to myself, the day is content to be overtaken by night, content to see its end come, and submission can be beautiful.
Only then did I know I would indeed be victorious over my temptation.
Sometimes the real struggle is not the circumstance you face but choosing how you will face the circumstance.
Therefore to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin (James 4:17).
So, tell me, how do you beat temptation?
Dawn,
That was so beautifully written and I love the line, “spiritually backed away from the ledge, the Holy Spirit my escort.” How many times I have not listened and have gone over the edge. I have that picture in my head now. Thank you!
I do the same as you did, I start praying and lay it down. Like you said, sometimes circumstances try to rattle us, but with His help we can calm down and let it go.
Lovely.