The Decision, the Jump!
Matt 14:25-31 25
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” NIV
It came to me as a simple thought. A profound thought. What if I just believe it will work out? What if I just refuse to fret and worry about it and…(wait for it)…trust God?
To other Christians, that may sound as elementary as their ABC’s. But for someone like me, who by nature is analytical, given to reasoning, and addicted to fixing things, it was huge! It was deep. It was scary. But, yes…it was do-able.
To begin this new way of doing things, I had to, well, just do it. So much like the Disciple Peter, I just threw myself out of the boat and into the water with Jesus. Over my head. At first I felt excited. Energized. Thrilled even. But then, just like the apostle, I began to look at the winds and the waves. What if it does not work? What will I do about the money? What if I did not hear God? What if I make a fool of myself and ruin my ministry forever?
All of a sudden, just like Peter, I began to slip beneath the surface of the water. I began to sink. No longer was I looking at Jesus. No longer was I enjoying the thrill of my God-sized adventure. No, sadly, I was screaming for dear life. Desperate for a rescue.
Then once again… that tiny germ of an idea sprang up. But…what if I just believe? I had wrestled with it all day. In and out of the dumps in my attitude and outlook. But, at that particular moment, when I was is inspired to reset to “faith”, I was at ladies’ Christmas party. They were in the process of drawing for door prizes. Impulsively, I threw up an audacious request- “Lord, if this is going to be alright, please help me win a prize as a sign.” The prayer was not even off of my lips when they called my name. I was elated! Ecstatic. Exuberant. I grabbed the gift like it was a million dollars, stating under my breath, “I am so excited! I won!” My mom leaned in and said, “But, Sherri, you don’t even know if you will like it yet.” I thought my heart would burst! My response, “I don’t care what it is, it is mine and I KNOW I will like it!”
It was a coffee cup. A fun, whimsical, multi-dotted coffee cup. I love my morning cup of indulgence. I only have one. But I really enjoy having it in a pretty cup. It is just the little things. But He knew. He knew I needed encouragement. He knew a coffee cup would thrill my socks off. He knew the moment to drop the idea in my head to pray for it. He just knew! He knew me, He knew the circumstance, and He wanted me to know that He knew.
I would love to report that the unearthing of that mug led to the death of my reasoning and figuring things out. But it is almost never quite that simple! Worrying things to death is a habit, an addiction of sorts, and it is overcome in time. It is conquered choice by choice. In this moment, will I trust or will I fret? I can safely say that for each time I do choose trust, I also choose joy.
Romans 15:13 (AMP) 13
May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.
Child like faith. Simple believing. It really is powerful! It will take you out of the boat and let you walk on water! But it will doing something else, something that is equally as powerful, it will let you have joy on the journey! Why walk on water if it cannot be fun? Why leave your companions behind if you are not going to have a whopper of a story to tell on the other side?
If you are like me, you will understand the conundrum. It is uncanny how quickly I can go from belief, to joy, to doubt to despair. All in 3 seconds flat!
I must discipline my mind. Yes, I even tell it to ‘shut up’ on occasion. On other days, when it seems stronger than me, I call upon a prayer partner. And once again, I am amazed at how quickly the bubble of hope springs up! What if I just believe?
I tell you this testimony now. While I am still knee-deep in the Sea of Galilee. I am learning this water walk. It is so much harder… and so much easier, than you may think. The simplicity of faith is a mind-blower to someone like me. But, oh, what a journey! And in it are tide pools of encouragement, joy, hope and peace. Later, I will share with you the outcome. I will tell, with joy and amazement, that it really is that simple. That it really does work. But for now. I decided to send you a snapshot. A “selfie” of me in the Sea of Galilee! See the boat back there? It is becoming a speck to me now! See the shore over there? It is a bit further out that I anticipated. But wait! Look a little to the left of my picture. Did you see it? Yep! It is Jesus! He is grinning from ear to ear and yelling encouragement to me. What are you waiting for? Jump in! The water is divine!
Dear Lord, you know the struggle is real. You know the things that culminated in making me a thinker, a reasoner, a worrier. But you also know the secret to faith. Teach it to me, Lord. Help me to become steadfast in faith. Remove the mixture. The doubt. I want to be pure in my hope and belief. Unwavering. I cannot do it on my own. I need Your help! In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
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This is so true! Thanks for the encouragement !
Thank you, Heather! So glad it spoke to you!
Oh Sherri; this devotion made me almost cry…because I see myself in your story. I want to always be in control. I want to fix things all the time…and I want to TRUST more than anything. Thank you for sharing from your heart; I needed to read that today!
Thank you, Heather! So glad it spoke to you!
Thank you, Iris! If walking was as easy as writing, lol!