The Outpouring of the Soul
Ps 42:4
4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng. (NIV)
I usually can sense when someone is upset. Especially within my family. It grieves me to no end when I know there is a problem, but am unable to do anything to fix it. I feel that way in most of my relationships, but in my relationship with the Lord, it seems like the usual relationship rules do not apply.
Somehow in reading about God’s judgment, I created an inner deception. I recognized that God was just and holy- and I feared that He could not abide my fleshly foolishness. So I began to hide my thoughts when I did not understand His ways. I spent my time stuffing my feelings and repenting, because I knew deep down that I “shouldn’t” feel that way.
While it is true that God is holy and just in His judgments, we can never lose sight of the fact that He already knows us. He knows our name. He knows our frame. He knows what brings us to tears and what inspires us. An in all of that, He loves us. Lavishly. Extravagantly. With that kind of love, surely He could handle some human confusion and questions.
In today’s passage, the Psalmist is pouring out his soul. He is crying out to God, remembering days when he used to rejoice in his relationship with God and in worship. But now, his soul is downcast. He mourns and bemoans the fact that his life is now consumed with tears, amidst the taunts of men asking, “Where is your God?”
Today, I took a little extra time to “pour out my soul” in His presence. I confided my hurts and disappointments. I confessed my sin and bitterness of heart. And do you know His response? Forgiveness, peace, love and mercy…they all awaited me there. Not once did the mountains tremble and Jehovah declare, “I had no idea you felt that way!” No. He knew it before I did and He waited patiently for me to be willing to be transparent before Him.
The psalmist panted with longing for God, he thirsted for the Lord. But somehow, his current experience was one of constant tears and mortal agony. He had to endure taunts from his enemies. But instead of withdrawing from God in anger and confusion, he pressed in. He determined that yet he would praise Him. His pouring out was done before His maker, and in that, he found the courage to keep pressing on.
How about you? Have any of your life’s battles turned to mortal agony and discouragement? Do you need to pour out your soul before Him? He can take it. In fact, He is waiting for you.
Dear Lord, for those who are hurt, overwhelmed and in danger of giving up hope, I pray that you would cradle them in Your mighty hand. Enable them to honestly pour out their soul before you. Apply hope and healing, in Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen!
You are right Sherri. God knows everything; our thoughts and feelings. He waits patiently for us to come to Him to let go and be renewed by Him.
Great reminder that God is just waiting for us to pour everything out to Him. Some of my most inner feelings lay at His feet.