Can I Trust Him?
Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee. It happened this way: …Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
John 21:1, 4
Not long after Christ rose from the grave, he met with Peter and the other disciples on the shores of Galilee. Peter had been fishing all night, he was exhausted, and he stank, both physically and spiritually. He had just experienced the most devastating loss of his life, and he felt completely betrayed, bewildered and useless. The One that he had trusted more than anything else in life turned out to be completely different from what he had expected.
I imagine that Peter had envisioned a Messiah who would come charging in on a white horse, bullwhip in one hand, sword in the other; tearing down all the idols that were prevalent in many temples throughout the city. He would go to Rome, march into Pilate’s throne room, demanding that he step down immediately and hand over the throne to the one true King. It would be powerful, amazing, awe-inspiring, sensational, and Peter wanted to make sure that he would be right there to witness it all.
But the Messiah failed him. He didn’t follow through with what Peter had perceived of His promises. The white horse turned out to be a small donkey; the bullwhip just a couple of palm branches thrown on the ground in front of Him. As for demanding that Pilate step down? Well, that was the biggest joke of all. Instead of demanding His rightful place, or at the least defending His actions, Jesus just stood there and listened without opening his mouth.
When Peter thought it could not get any worse, he saw that it could. In place of the idols being torn down with a whip, soldiers pulled out a Cat-of-Nine Tails and blistered Jesus back until He almost could not move; then they humiliated Him by making Him walk through the streets of Jerusalem in the same manner as murderers and thieves.
I imagine Peter stepping farther and farther back from the crowd wondering how he had been so deceived into believing that this man could really be the Messiah that was to rescue the Jews from their tyranny and finally set them free forever. Did a small voice whisper inside of him that it was not yet too late? Perhaps He would not die after all. But He did.
Image by macieklew via Flickr
Workaholic that Peter was, he went straight back to his fishing when He saw that Jesus was gone. He poured himself into it night and day. Did he wallow in his sorrows as he wondered what would become of the great life that he had imagined by the side of the King? Off in the distance, perhaps it was a shadow that caught his eye. Was it the way He walked? Suddenly, Peter grabbed clothes to cover his nakedness and approached the living Messiah. He still loved Him, but could he trust Him?
Although Scripture does not specifically word Jesus’ question as “Peter, do you trust me?”, I have often sensed that it was part of what He meant by the way He continued to ask, “Peter, do you love me?” Is it possible to love without trust? Or to trust without love?
Peter had a choice to make that day on the shore of Galilee. Would he once again put his trust in the One who had filled his days for the past three years, or was the price too great? The gravity of his choice would determine the remainder of his future, but could he really take the chance to trust again? Luckily for us, that answer was yes.
I often find myself in a similar place. The visions that I have of the future come crashing down around me, and I wonder what my Savior could have possibly been thinking. Did He really intend for me to endure such pain and still move forward? Can I trust when nothing that I understood has been fulfilled? I hear a voice behind me whispering, “Do you trust me?” Often, my response is, “I don’t know, but I want to.”
Have you been there too? Are you at a place in your life where you just don’t see the point in trusting anymore? Does it seem like one too many things have gone wrong, and you have to protect yourself because no one else is going to? He is calling to you today, trust Him. As He guided and blessed Peter, He wants to do the same for you today. Give Him your full trust, rest in Him and let Him guide you through the valley to the mountain top that He has promised you.
Wendy- Loved the depiction of Peter and how Christ approached him in his spiritual low!
Niccol,
This has always been a struggle for me. Lately God has been working on me to really walk a mile in the shoes of each story that I read. It is a great reminder for times when I hit a spiritual low, including this week.