Trusting Him

I must admit, I first imagined that everyone would be so busy with the Thanksgiving festivities and family gatherings that no one will be reading.  But then the next thought, “what about those who aren’t as busy on these holidays?”

So dear sisters in Christ, and those just passing by this way, this devotion today is for you!  I have been waiting for the “holiday tears” to flood.  But instead, they’ve trickled a little here and a little there.  None rushing like a river, but a few coming at the most unexpected moments.  Why, you may ask?…Well for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Angie.  I have a sister named Aimee, a brother named Jeff and we were blessed with an darling middle sister, Wanda, for almost 44 years.  Then she journeyed home in February of this year. 

Today I have so much more to be thankful for than I ever dreamed possible.  I know.  You may think I’ve lost my marbles.  Now, if you are a regular reader of mine, you know that my sweet husband, also named Jeff, collects marbles.  So, I do know where to find some anytime I lose mine!

I’ve not lost them.  What I have lost was a sweet sister.  But only for a short time.  You see, I have plans to see her again!  Maybe not today, but then again, perhaps today.  Depending solely on when the Lord decides.  Either I will go by way of the grave, or by way of the rapture.  The Trumpet Call!

Just knowing that the troubles here are not meant to last, is something to be thankful for!  My resolve is to know Him more.  As never before!

“That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection…” Philippians 3:10

You know that feeling that you get when your throat seems to close up and you feel yourself choking on the tears that are about to spill down your cheeks? That is what the last several days of reading in our Sisters of Faith Bible Study has done.  The Truth and conviction is joined hand-in-hand. The Truth of what Christ willingly gave, and the conviction for the wasted years of my life seemed to haunt my mind as I read. And then other things from this year came back to me.

I have a vivid imagination and reading for me paints a picture in my mind. Reading takes me to the scene. But this scene today was filled with stomach churning anguish. I feel unworthy to even share this study today, however, I will share what I have felt as I read this study.

As a sinner, saved by Grace—I can relate to the darkness that encompassed the world the day that Jesus Christ hung between heaven and earth.  For in that darkness of my life, I purposefully kept the curtains drawn on my soul to keep the Light out. Thankfully, I had precious loved ones praying the prayer that got through—and as the Light persisted— I repented and gave my heart to the Lord I have served for many years now.

Hard as I tried, I have not been able to imagine what it must have felt like to be surrounded by darkness and not feel the Presence that had kept Him going since the day He left His throne to embark on the earthly journey.

In Matthew 27:46, we hear Him plead with His Father for an answer…”My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” He heard no answer. There was only darkness screaming back. The pain it must have been for Him to even speak those words, had to be excruciating! I heard a minister preach once about the Crucifixion and he made the statement, “in order for Jesus to be able to get enough air in His lungs to speak, He must have pressed His feet into the block upon which they were nailed (according to history he had read), and push Himself up long enough to breathe in and speak.” I don’t know, but I do believe that the words He spoke were words that He needed to say, not only for Himself, but for us today.

We experience dark days. Granted our days will never compare to Jesus Christ, bearing the sins of all the world. From every liar, rapist, murderer, abuser, addict, adulterer, stiff necked, hard hearted, slanderous, prideful and every perverse individual that would ever take a breath. He bore them all. The problems we face that causes us to “feel” darkness can never and will never compare. But it’s darkness to us all the same. With those anguish permeated words He uttered, He directed us to the next step we should take when our own world closes in on us in complete and total darkness.

Just before He breathed His last breath of mortal air, with a loud voice He cried out, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:46) From a feeling of desolation to a complete trust in His Father—He paved the way. He drew the road map for each follower to align his or her life.

Wanda followed. On Monday, February 11, 2008, her life travel plans were being concluded. We had arrived at the hospital the day before to find a weakened sister. The words from her husband, Mark, tore at our aching souls. “Come now.” Just two words. But with those two words, all of life changed. We both had been filled with a feeling of “I don’t want to do this—I can’t bear this—I hate this—but we need Your will Father.”

The hours spent after we arrived seemed to pass in a blur. Blur or not, they are forever etched in my mind. Teaching purposes. God is using them the teach me things I need to know. And remember. As Monday dawned and blood was drawn, vitals checked, the truth bore down on us like a raging bull. We each took turns talking to Wanda quietly. She couldn’t speak, her lungs were being squeezed by all the building fluid in her body. When she did try and speak it was breathy sounding and barely a whisper.

I had stepped out to go to the restroom down the hall when she uttered her last words. When I read the verse in Matthew of Christ committing His Spirit to His Father, tears fall as I remembered her own last words. Similar to Christ’s. With a question in her shaky voice, she said, “I don’t understand….(long pause for breath)….we trusted God”. Another long pause, and then with a resolute firmness amid the weak voice she said, “but I still trust Him”. He had paved the way. She had followed. All the way to the end.

Over the next several hours, until she drew her last breath, we recounted her trust and faith in God. In all the years of her life, it never wavered.

Trust. Following Him. To the end.

And so should we. I am following. Aimee is too. We are still praying for many family members to take up the Road Map (Bible) and follow Him as well.

Dear friend, I invite you today, ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart and life.  To make a change in you.  Are you tired of how things are going?  Seek Him.  Turn every life situation over to the only One who can make a difference.  He can.  As surely as I know how to breathe, I know my Lord can make a difference in your life.  Breathing is a natural reflex.  For me, trusting God is as well.  Will you today?  Trust in Him.

Following Him,

Angie

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