What are your family ties made of?
THWACK!! The sound that does not sound good in anyone’s home, especially where there are children present. That sound usually is followed by hollering or crying. The kind of noise that sends any momma running to the next room to see what happened!
Our three sons were always getting into mischief at a young age. If mischief couldn’t be found, mischief found them! This particular day, Jeremy, 13 and Jordan, 8 were chasing each other in the house. Jeremy runs in our bedroom to escape the little pesty brother and as the pest follows him, the bedroom door gets slammed. Slamming the door was not the problem, except that in the door was Jordan’s fingers! When I arrived and saw the blood, I immediately rushed him to the bathroom to wash the blood off, except to my horror, blood was not the only thing dripping, Jordan’s finger was dangling by a thread.
Such a moment causes a parent to have two types of feelings. First, there is the concern for the injured child. Second, with eyes scrunched close, eyebrows raised, and a fire rising up into your face, a quick glare around the room to find the child who imposed such an injury. If this was you, you too probably found the second child crouched in a corner somewhere waiting for the wrath to come upon him.
Family!
Family is one of the first places that we discover what we like, what we are good at, and how to relate to others. It is also where we learn to handle conflict and how our actions, good or bad, do affect others. Even the strongest families go through struggles. Families hurt from time to time. And then sometimes, we hurt our family, unintentionally.
I was thinking about this event that happened early on in my boys lives. Jordan and Jeremy are grown now, married with families of their own. I wonder if they ever even think about this incident? What made me think of it was when I was reading the story of Joseph – one of my favorite stories in the Bible. Often times, when we read the account of Joseph, we focus on the suffering that Joseph endured at the hands of his brothers. True, this is a wonderful illustrated story of forgiveness, but I am awestruck at how such incidents, even like that of my two sons, strikes families deep in the heart.
Look at Genesis 30:22-24…
22 Then God remembered Rachel, and God heeded her and opened her womb. 23She conceived and bore a son, and said, ‘God has taken away my reproach’; 24and she named him Joseph,* saying, ‘May the Lord add to me another son!’
Joseph was the honored son, and later on in Genesis we see how his brothers became very jealous of this. It is one thing to have to face your parents disapproval because you did poorly in school, but imagine how it must have been for these brothers of Joseph to not have the approval of their father Jacob like Joseph did. This feeling of rejection is what prompted the boys to retaliate by stripping Joseph not just of his coat of many colors, but his dignity as well. (Genesis 50:20-24)
From the very beginning of creation, family relationships have been difficult. Brothers hurting brothers. Parents showing favoritism. Jealousy and envy putting distance between one another. Family ties that break us!
When I think about the incident with my two young sons, I realize that Jeremy did not mean to harm Jordan, but yet he did. Jordan almost lost his finger, even though he didn’t, he still has the scars to remind him of the pain he endured. Some of us have been hurt by those we call family. Some of the hurt and pain was inflicted willingly, while some not knowingly. When we allow things to penetrate our heart like jealousy, envy, hatred, un-forgiveness towards our brothers and sisters, we are no better than what occurred around that pit … we become like the brothers of Joseph!
Joseph had scars. I am sure he had physical scars from being tossed into the pit that eventually healed up. But emotionally, the scars remained. Scars are not always a bad thing. Scars can be a reminder of what God brought us from. When we allow God to bring healing and restoration to our hearts, to our wounds and yes, even to our families, it becomes a tie (a family tie) that can never be broken!
QUESTION FOR TODAY: What kind of family ties do you have in place? Not just at home, but with your church family as well…may we all strive to be a forgiving, loving and accepting family – a tie, that when bound in God’s love, will never be broken!
