What Happened in my Marriage
A couple of months ago something happened in my marriage. Something that radically changed the past 26 1/2 years. When I thought our relationship was really great, something comes along and re-directs the heart of my man.
I have always been proud of my dear man. When I told him he looked “hot”, girls I meant it. And the fellow can bake a cake better than his mama…and that is saying something. Even though we’ve had problems in the past, I had a tremendous amount to be thankful for. And I’ll go so far as to tell you a real shocker. We’ve never had an argument.
Don’t believe me? Ask him. That’s not to say that we haven’t disagreed about something before, but he has never, ever in all of our married life, ever raised his voice at me. Now, I have “heard” him raise his voice. It can rattle the leaves on the trees. He has heard me raise mine. But we’ve never raised our voice to one another. I’m really not sure why. I’ve been mad at him before. He’s been mad at me. But when we get mad, we go tell on the other one. I always tell God. I don’t know who he tells.
But I digress. I need to fill you in on just a bit of history before I lower the ultimate boom. We were married after a brief engagement—because we just loved one another, knew that we were right for one another and in my heart and his, there would never be another. Then about a year and a half later we started our family.
We had all the children problems that most folks have. Ours was always “girl fights”…since that’s what we had. (That’s when I first heard him raise his voice.) We were very involved in church, in several areas. We both worked. We were faithful to the Lord….until the enemy found a foothold in our marriage. I’m not sure if it came from bitterness that my man was feeling about something at church, or work. Either way, the result was the same.
Bitterness can eat you alive. It will destroy a happy home. It will cause pain where there was once joy. Bitterness leads to other problems as well. Discontent. Loss of compassion toward others. Sorrow of heart. Depression. It will throw you into a pit, the likes of which you have never seen. I know. The bitterness of one can spread to the other. Soon it will infest an entire family. If not dealt with.
I remember a night, standing at the kitchen sink, washing dishes and being so mad at him, and for what? I really have no idea. But the Lord began to deal with my heart. I began to earnestly seek God about our marriage. I saw that it was on a swift downhill spiral. And it was getting out of control. So I prayed. Sometimes I would lie in bed beside him and pray. Sometimes I would go on the front porch and talk long and hard with the Lord. Many times I knelt in the bathroom or beside the bed and prayed. I had a heart that was breaking.
God heard. On a day I will never forget, my dear man began to open up and share with me what was going on inside his heart and life. He cried. I cried. I wept for the pain we were both feeling, but most of all for the heartache that he had held on to for so long. By allowing the enemy to edge his slimy way in one area of his life, he started trying to take over. Little by little he was succeeding. Were it not for prayer, it might have destroyed us. But we called on our pastor and wife, along with his brother and wife, to join us in prayer over the matter at hand. God heard.
I won’t stand here (actually, I’m sitting) and tell you that it has been a picnic since then. There have been many tremendously difficult battles to deal with since that day. Teenage problems, the break-up of our oldest daughter’s marriage, financial difficulties, health crisis with grandchildren, more financial difficulties, and much emotional and spiritual issues that have had to be dealt with more than once. But God heard.
So, now is the time that I tell you the recent happening in my marriage. The thing that has forever changed the way I feel about my man. Ready?
Prayer. If you read my blog, you may have stumbled on the Thankful Thursday post where I talked about Jeff praying for me one morning. Well, it started like this: Several men from our church meet at 6:00 a.m. every Tuesday morning for prayer. Serious prayer. They pray long and they pray hard. One particular Tuesday morning, when he came back home, I was in the finishing stages of the “make-up” process. Mary Kay was applied and the hair was volumized to the max! When I went to him for our normal “hug” before I left, he immediately held me longer and began to pray over me.
Girls, even now, as my mind journeys back to that morning, I get teary eyed. I was astounded. Now you may get the idea that he never prayed for me before. He had. I know that every time I was sick and asked him to pray he did. Most of the time though, it was not out loud. I cannot describe to you what this did for my heart. To hear him call on God on my behalf! I cried. I had to re-apply Mary Kay and re-volumize my hairdo (because he rested his chin on my head). But I’d buy a truck load of Mary Kay for that!
He has prayed for me every morning since. If he was ever out of pocket when I had to leave for work, he’d call me on the phone. I told him a few nights after he began this praying habit, I had never—ever—felt more loved. Although our love is good, great, It is so much better, deeper, more focused on each other and the things of God than ever before.
Why did it take us so long to get here? I don’t know. Perhaps pride? Maybe. Sometimes we are afraid of what the other one will think. Maybe we think our words are not as fancy as someone else’s. You must remember though, that God only expect and desires you to be YOU. He expects Angie to sound like Angie when she prays. (That’s me) He expects Iris to sound like Iris, and Lynn to sound like Lynn—so on and so forth! He knows that Angie talks with a country twang. It’s okay with Him. He loves variety!
Indeed it was for my own peace
That I had great bitterness;
But You have lovingly delivered my soul from the pit of corruption,
For You have cast all my sins behind Your back. Isaiah 38:17 NKJV
I had something all together different in mind for today’s devotion. But God once again re-directed my thoughts. Maybe you just need to know that as long as there is breath, and a willing heart, there is hope. Keep praying. If your marriage is not all it should be, if you struggle with bitterness, anxiety, fear, anger, unforgiveness, or any sin —God hears the repentant heart. He heals the broken hearted. He will see you through as you put all your faith and all your trust in HIM. If I had given up in those months of pain and heartache, I’d not have the wonderful cake baking, sweet praying man I have today!
Father in heaven, You know above all others, what You’ve brought me through. You also know that there are others who are traveling similar roads. Maybe even rockier roads. Some may be deeply embedded in a pit of sin. I ask You today to help them see with their eyes and heart, the nail scarred hand of Your only Son extended to them right where they are. Help them to know that there is no need for them to try and clean themselves up—that’s what the shed blood of Jesus is for. I ask that You touch hearts and lives through the ministry and writers of Laced with Grace. I ask that You grow this ministry and reach the lost through the avenue of the internet. Bless the lives that stop and rest here today. In the holy and awesome name of Your Son, Jesus~Amen.
Still Trusting Him,
Angie
I’d love a visit from you at my place! The Knightly News
Wow my friend. Such a beautiful deep felt post. This has really touched me, thank you so much for sharing. May God continue to sweetly bless your marriage.
Angie, how beautiful! I needed this today. You are always such a blessing. Thanks and God Bless~
Oh Angie,
This is one of the most touching devotions I have ever read. I have tears in my eyes right now. Hold onto that man. He is a true gift from the Father.
Ang, thank you for being transparent. You give me hope that one day I, too, will have my man hold me and pray. What a glorious day…
I am praying this prayer along with you and asking the Lord to keep pride out of my life. Love you girl. Hugs.
Once again, I am being reminded that I need to give everything – everything and then some – to the One who brought me to where I am today. I don’t pray daily for my marriage, and that should be one of the first requests on my lips. Thanks for letting God use you and your wisdom to inspire me today.
Thank you. God knew I needed to hear your/HIS words today. My man and I are approaching our 1st wedding anniversary. We’ve had a great year, but we’ve also had some tough days in just one year. I have prayed and prayed over my marriage and God has been faithful. He has brought us thru the “first year adjustments” and blessed us with laughter and love for each other and Him.
My man blessed my heart the other night. I have been praying that God will give him a hunger for His word and a conviction of prayer over us and our marriage. God is good. My man prayed with me the other night! He took my hand and said the sweetest prayer for us…”Dear God, please bless us with children.”
Oh, how I pray that He will!
Wow….
Oh, my.. Angie! What a beautiful, sincere and heartfelt post. You have touched me so deeply and reminded of the importance of prayer in a marriage.
Okay, now I must pray and ask the Lord for a new keyboard because I’ve just soaked this one with tears!
Angie, this devotional stopped me in my tracks.
My husband deals with insecurities. I’m outgoing, he’s more introspective. I talk a lot and pray in the middle of conversations with friends when a prayer need arises. He’s quiet, a listener and prays in private. I now my man prays for me everyday, but I seldom hear him pray outloud for me or any request for that matter. The other evening at dinner besides blessing the food, he prayed for our friend Doc who just lost his wife, my friend Mindy that I wrote about yesterday. Tears just flowed down my cheeks. I know he thought I was crying sorrowful tears for our friend, but they were actually tears of joy because I heard my man pray a beautiful prayer for our friend. But I didn’t tell him. I think now I should; it could encourage him.
Thanks so much my dear fwend!
Oh, Angie – what a powerful post about God and marriage. Yes, there is a connection. – If God is the center – the enemy has a harder time to destroy marriages.
You know – I have to say that my beloved and I have not yelled at each other either, but we have been mad at each other…
Thank you again for sharing this powerful post with us…
You have painted a beautiful picture of Ephesians 5:25. Go tell your husband I said so.
love u~elaine
Okay Angie… Now I have to go and reapply my MK!!
Isn’t it the most powerful thing to have someone pray for you and hold you at the same time!!! and when that person is your husband… WOW, WOW AND WOW.
I always love it when Beth tells us about how her man prayers over her…
Thank you for a wonderful blog and for sharing insights into life and marriage and the importance of prayer. God loves us just the way we are, fancy words or not, and we need to be real with Him when we pray and not feel embarassed that we may (do) sound silly! He does heal the broken hearted, but we must first open up to Him. Thank you again for a timely reminder! Paula 🙂
Angie:
My how God works. I just posted a Thankful Thursday post on my blog. It was my thanks to my hubby. We have had some hard times during our 16 years of marriage but decided to stick it out and oh the joy, especially recently! I came over to Laced with Grace from Iris’ blog only to find your beautiful post about your sweet husband. It has blessed my heart and made me realize all the more how important prayer is. Thank you!
What a beautiful post Angie. There’s so much I want to say but as a single lady I find that so powerful and inspiring…
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing this with us. I remember one of the first steps in the restoration of financial troubles and marriage troubles was my husband grabbing my hand and praying. You see he was a “baby” Christian and one of my struggles was always being the “spiritual leader.” So when he did this I sobbed.
What a powerful post. Thank you for sharing! What encouragement it can give for the many women praying for their husbands. Thank you!
What can I say? This post is straight from the throne, as usual. It is funny how you remember those special moments in your life, when your baby walks for the first time, when you take your little one to their first day of school, and of course when your husband steps into his rightful role as the spiritual leader of the home.
I still remember the first time Paul prayed for me. I had received the phone call from my sister that my mother had died only minutes before. We were driving to her house, the last time I would see her there. I will always recall the beautiful billowy clouds in the bright blue sky. While looking up and silently thinking, “Lord, are you holding her in your arms right now?” My silent dialogue with God was broken by the spoken prayer of my husband over my life and our family.
Thank you for reminding me of the beauty of prayer.
I love you friend, Joanne
p.s. And one day, I am going to taste your husband’s delicious cakes!
I thought I just stumbled upon this post, but I know in my heart the Lord led me here to read this tonight. What a blessing your words have been and very thought provoking. I am changing my prayers tonight. Thank you so much!
My marriage is falling apart after 23 years. We have failed God in so many ways. I have received his wonderful Grace and know he doesn’t want me to give up on my marriage. My son 23 lives here. He is a wonderful young man. I don’t know how to get things back. I do know through Jesus all things are possible. We have no communication in our small family anymore. Please pray for my marriage and my son. That he may live for Christ and meet good friends and find his way. Please.
JC (Mother)