When Christmas Doesn’t Feel Merry and Bright
Recently I was wandering the Christmas aisles at Hobby Lobby searching for a couple of pictures to freshen up the wall over our couch. Every aisle included items that carried the “Merry and Bright” theme. My eyes teared up. Life right now is anything but Merry and Bright. It’s been downright hard and painful at times. And it’s not just me. Many I know are hurting with broken hearts, physically, spiritually, emotionally. I’m thinking about all the expectations that come with what’s supposed to be a ‘happy’ holiday while many of our hearts are laid open, raw and exposed; the stream of salty tears continue to sting wounded hearts– hearts that feel like everything is imploding.
The raw reality is this–life is hard at times. We can’t change those hard times just because the calendar says we should be merry and bright right now. But this one thing I know, God is with us; His name is Emmanuel. It’s the Name I whisper when my heart needs comfort. It’s the Name that tells all of us we’re not alone in our brokenness. It’s the Name that wraps us in comfort, the Name we can cling to when life’s sorrows are too raw to put up a tree or go through the motions of all the trappings of this season.
When life is whirling around us and it just doesn’t seem to make sense, when it’s broken and our hearts are exposed raw to the elements, all the “Happy Holiday” greetings only make the heart hurt worse. Through the eyes of the brokenhearted, life for everyone else goes on as “normal,” and that can be a bitter pill to swallow.
The hurting and brokenhearted realize, often much sooner than most, that all the trappings that engulf Christmas aren’t the true meaning of Christmas and won’t heal wounded hearts. The true meaning is Jesus and His humble coming to be with us–Emmanuel, God is with us. He came to ransom, redeem and deliver us. He alone can turn darkness into light because He is the Light of the world (John 8:12). He alone turns condemnation into acceptance, and death into life. He alone brings hope, healing, love, peace, and even joy – not happiness – but true joy. The joy of knowing the nearness of God is our good (Psalm 73:28). The joy of knowing He understands brokenness, separation, and grief. Joy isn’t, “Yippee! I feel great!” Joy comes as a fruit of the Spirit. Joy is rooted in grace. Joy is being aware of His grace in our lives (God is with us).
This . . . this . . . is the message beating in my heart this season. If you’ve never experienced it, a December kind of grief is a magnified grief. Our grieving friends and family need our prayers. Some of us grieve the loss a loved one, some grieve as weary care-givers. More than our words of advice, they need “Some One” to touch the wounds of their heart. Pray, hold their hand, give warm hugs that say, “I love you. I care. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m here for you.” If you know someone who has lost a loved one, it’s important to speak the loved one’s name, to talk about him/her; share memories, let them know you haven’t forgotten their loved one.
To all my precious hurting friends and loved ones, don’t worry about holding to the traditions of the past. Don’t rely on drugs or alcohol to heal your wounded heart, or to “get through the holidays.” There’s only One that can bring healing, His Name is Emmanuel, God is with us. He can do more than just “get you through the holidays.” This year, just be held.
Struggling with praying? Maybe this will capture the prayer of your heart during this December kind of grief. I know it’s the prayer of my broken and grieving heart this December.
“God, I’m not asking for miracles throughout this season. I’m asking to recognize Your movements in my life. I’m asking to catch Your whispers. I’m asking to sense Your presence in what I think are my darkest moments, when I think I can’t go on. God, I’m asking for moments when I can see Your grace as clearly as footprints in a fresh-fallen snow or wet sand along a beach. God, I’m asking that You be with my family and friends and somehow see us through.”
Smith, Harold Ivan (2011-01-04). A Decembered Grief: Living with Loss While Others are Celebrating (Kindle Locations 124-127). Beacon Hill Press. Kindle Edition.
Thank you for sharing these powerful words today. Yes, life is hard, and sometimes it makes no sense. However, I know that I can rely on God to give me the strength I need.
Praying for you, dear friend. <3
Thank you Marsha. These words give permission to just be…which I and so many need(ed) to hear. The hurting and the broken are plentiful. In my family, my life…your family, your life.
As I think of the various friends and loved ones faced with this very real journey of passing thru the valley of Baca (tears), the number is staggering.
I lift them in prayer and ask the Lord to keep me mindful of their hurts. And, as I continue to pass through my own appointed valley, I receive the prayer in this post as my own…
I’ve copied it into my journal.
Thank you for your post…Linda Reaves??
Thank you for your words of encouragement. You are a blessing to me always. <3
This is the time of year that hurts the most in my flesh…memories of another lifetime that is done and never replaced . Yet in more important ways…I’m being held by the one who has carried me thru it . Showed me what’s more eternal and never dies.
Just give me Jesus .
And music lol.?
Often God uses music to crack open the heart and soul so His healing balm can seep through the crevices. Love you my friend.
Thank you Ms. Marsha, so so true. Love you and miss you!
Love you and miss you, too, sweet Leslie. You are always on my heart and in my prayers.
Marsha, in the times when we are broken, He can do more in us, for us and through us. But Oh how brokenness hurts. God keep you near in this season.
Thank you, Luwana, for your thoughtful and caring comment. It’s a reflection of your caring heart.
Marsh,
You never cease to amaze me with your insight for so many that are hurting this year. It is very true that many that have losses this time of year find it very difficult to experience it in the way that Jesus wanted us to. Many of the “bagh, him-bugger” are the ones that have had the most hurts. Thank you sharing this
It was quite inspiring!
Love and prayers…
Thank you, my sweet friend. I think most of us walk with brokenness in our hearts; sadly not all know our Emmanuel, God with us.
Marsha, I appreciate your encouraging words at a time when you are walking through your own valleys and experiencing your personal pain and loss. Your sharing of struggles and your openness of experiences help us to walk with you along the way in mindful prayer and sincere empathy as we endure our own pain and brokenness. In doing so, I feel we experience healing and receive a soothing balm for the crevices of our wounds as we reach within to expend forth the energy of caring and concern for each other through prayer. Thank you and God Bless.