When Doing What’s Right, Feels Wrong
My hands sweat. My heart pounded. My feet felt like lead as we walked across the parking lot. A thousand and one reasons NOT to go, raced through my mind. They were, however, drowned out by a single quiet truth. Going, was the right thing to do. So, we did.
I lifted one foot after the other, held my husbands hand with a death grip, and together, we walked on. Right through the door. I felt awful, a mix of nausea and tension. While I knew it was the RIGHT thing…. it just felt so wrong.
We went in- we did what we knew was right, and we left. Relief flooded over me as I slid into the car. Tears filled my eyes. It had been the right thing to do. However, even after the fact- if I am honest- I would have to say that while knowing I had been obedient felt good.. the action of obedience itself, did not. It felt sickening, actually.
How can that be right? All evening, doubt continued to challenge my mind. I waivered between doubt and relief.
Finally, I was reminded of the story of Abraham. I could see him carefully tying Isaac to the altar. I could see the sun glint off the knife as he raised it high into the air. I wondered if this act of obedience felt “good”. As a parent- I can ony imagine it felt torturous. Not good. Yet, it was right for Abraham to obey God. I don’t have a doubt about that. I also don’t doubt that Abraham must have agonized over that act of obedience. Did that mean it was wrong? No. Feelings (emotions) do not always *indicate* God’s will.
In a small way, mine was an act of obedience like Abraham’s. Even if it felt awful, and, from my perspective, was torturous. It was still the right thing to do.
Don’t worry, you haven’t missed the details of this post… I’m purposefully not putting in the ” who, what, where, when, why and how’s” of my particular act of obedience. I want you to be able to relate through yours. I doubt I’m the only one who has experienced something like this.
I hope we can talk together in the comments about whether doing the right thing- always feels good, and what you do when it doesn’t….. This week? I just kept telling myself over and over.. “It’s the right thing.. it’s the right thing” and then, took the next step.
Has this ever happened to you? What did you do? Does feeling nervous, scared, anxious, threatened, etc… cause you to doubt whether something is right or wrong, to do? I can’t wait to hear… what a privilege to share….
PS- thank you for your patience while I took an unexpected break this month- The graduation of my oldest and ensuing party madness was a little more overwhelming than I had anticipated.. I missed you all- and am so glad to be “back in the saddle”!
God’s response, to Abraham’s obedience… and just maybe? To ours:
“I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring [b] all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”
Tracey…been there, done that. Gosh, it’s not easy sometimes is it? The Lord has called me twice in the past month to do something very difficult/heart wrenching. Nausea, anxiety, etc…but it has been the right thing. Yes, I was uncertain, but that’s where faith had to kick in as a verb. I’m so glad you wrote…now I don’t feel so alone.
Bless you!
Oh yes – I have been there…doing the right thing, but being nauseous about it…I remember when I resigned from my last job. Although it was a good job, I knew that I had to move on. I knew it was the right thing to do. I just had to trust God that the nauseous *feeling* would go away.
I am glad to have you back, Tracey – we missed you. But I also know that life sometimes makes unexpected turns…
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us…
Hi! I found you through Internet Cafe Devotions. I think, for me, most of these acts of obedience that feel right/wrong are usually when I have to confront someone about something or stand up for Christ in a way that someone may not understand. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other until the “act” is done, knowing full well that it is “better to suffer for doing what is right”. Thanks for the really great post!
P.S. Do you ever find that sometimes that nauseous feeling is telling you that you are about do really do the WRONG thing? Kinda tricky sometimes to discern the difference!
Tracey, thank you for your intentionally vague illustration. This message applies to so many different circumstances and you’ve allowed us to examine our own lives for examples.
When my father remarried 9 months after my mother’s unexpected death, it took all of my strength to “do the right thing” and accept the marriage. I kept telling myself that honoring my parents meant honoring my father’s decisions in life just as much as honoring my mother’s memory in death. All I could do was ask Him for the strength to obey Him.
It isn’t easy to follow His Word. If it was, then being one of His children wouldn’t be as special as it is!
Fabulous post!! And yes, I too have been there! Not too long ago I was “called” to do something that I knew, without question was the right thing to do…with heart pounding so loudly I thought the world could hear it, I forged ahead…almost chickened out, but the “rightness” about the situation kept me going. Once I did what I had to do, I felt WONDERFUL, tears of joy streaming down my face. Funny, whenever it’s the wrong thing to do, I don’t experience those symptoms (nausea, heart pounding, etc.), I just hear “that little voice” that keeps saying, “don’t do it, don’t do it” & I know to listen to that voice now!
Thanks for sharing this!!
Patricia
Doing what’s right can lead to a long battle with your own emotions, not to mention others.
After consulting elders and getting their advice and approval, Mr. Right and I felt pushed (really pushed) by the Spirit to talk with another couple about their child. In love we talked with them, first with humility and understanding, but also with hearts that said if it were us, we would want to know what others were thinking/saying/feeling about my child. We didn’t insult them or the child, but we did point out areas of concern: his anger, his glares, his disrespect. It was NOT well-received as you can imagine, but it was still the right thing to do.
Two years later, the couple still will not talk to us, and I always have apprehension when attending functions where I know they will be present. I dislike so much that they have taken this route, but were I to go back and do it again, I would do it the same, only I would pray that they would allow their hearts to be more forgiving towards us and to know that we only came with humble hearts and good intentions.
Being part of a family requires that you speak out when you see an area of concern and knowing when to keep quiet. The trick is to know which way God is prodding you.
This is so true. I used to think feelings indicated if something was right or not, but not any more. As humans, I believe our emotions naturally pull back from difficult things, even if those things are right. It’s especially hard if we feel we are going to hurt someone.
I also believe that God provides comfort in these times if we ask Him. He doesn’t always keep us from feeling uncomfortable temporarily, but I believe He will provide relief.
Such a fantastic post, bless you dear.
Actually, I don’t think I have a similar experience and I ask myself if something feeling so wrong, really could be right. But since you and more have been there, it obviously happens.
Of course, God has shown me things I needed to do that was hard, but not that made me feel so bad.
Very interesting subject!
I once had an entire year as a PTA President dealing with folk who thought they were ultimately the last word. I pushed lead feet to all my meetings, but I did continue what I did, because I knew it would benefit all. I persevered with the good and subtrafuged the blatant errors and rumors that were accosting me. I looked for the good in these women each and every meeting, hard as that was when I was verbally ‘handled’ due to thier closed mindedness.
I prayed for them, hardest thing I’ve ever done, and the left it to God. He was in control and nothing they did would be long to harm or distract me from performing the duties I was so sincere about.
We actually had a stellar year for PTA and I was awarded an honor by our local Senator. I did not brag nor complain to the public; rather chose wisely my friends and confidants through religious circles. Those who helped me the most were supportive of my journey, and allowed me to go through rather than shortcut around any problems.
I recently heard that the Holy Ghost is a helper Spirit. I’m convinced that this Holy Ghost was with me (and was working with them) the entire time as I supplicated to God and Jesus for guidance and appropriate words and works. Praise and Blessings. xxxooo
Tracey–Sometimes it is so easy to use the sweaty hands, pounding heart, and nausea as an excuse to think we are doing the wrong thing. And sometimes, like Abraham, we really just have to trust in Him because we cannot see His plan for us.
Thank you for a wonderful post!
yes I have felt nervous and scared so many times, in the end when I’ve looked back I’ve realised it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be – God’s always there beside us though – awesome!
I’m so glad you told the truth though – honesty is the best policy 🙂
Ya! it is a good thing. 🙂 your sound and whole and filled with favor
Very thought provoking Tracey, thank you.
As I am going through my own “Abraham promise” and acts of obedience, I have often thought about what Abraham must have gone through internally, what he must have thought, the questions he surely had for God, and the reasoning it out again and again in his mind. Not only did it appear to go against what God had promised, but it was a most Un-like God act that made no sense!
I appreciate the meditation this offered.
Wow, Tracey,
I am so glad you are back. I think most of the time it is difficult to obey and do the right thing especially in this desperate world.
Thank you for offering up this post and pushing us to stand for what is right…..even when it feels wrong. Love you.
Thank you Tracey for a wonderful post. I’ve been there and it’s always encouraging to hear other’s experiences.
I am in a place just like this in my life. I have two wonderful boys and live with a man that I am not married to. He is not the spiritual leader of our family. I have always known God but have not always been following him. Since I met my boyfriend, I have felt a tug to obey God but chose instead to move in with him. This decision has always left me feeling uneasy and recently I have chosen to obey the Lord but am afraid all at the same time.
My boyfriend does not understand…he is not a believer (although he says he is) he tells me that God does not care if we are married. I know that God has a purpose and plan for our lives but in the meantime…finding a place to live that is good for my boys and I is a little scary…leaving this man who loves us is scary…I often question if I am right or wrong. I am a little scared of being single and of not ever having another man love me and my two. According to my boyfriend, we are not doing anything wrong…I don’t feel the same.
I am posting because while I wrestle with my fear and doubt…I wonder if it is the right thing to do, wouldn’t I feel at peace with it? Why am I so afraid to trust in God’s plan…I am still here. Why? Is it simply because I have not seen an open door or is it because I am still fighting? I just want to serve God and do what he wants me to do. This is so tough for me…and everyone else involved.
I am at this place right now. I was working for a man Babysitting his fiance’s kids. But he was very perverted in quite a bit of his comments. And start problems and briefly threatened and harassed some friends of mine. And got in the middle for a brief bit of my marriage to my husband. And when I refused to tell him in person how I felt. He started all on me that I disrespected him and such. Yet, he says all “Poor me. I have no life. I have no money. And I didn’t threaten your friend(though my friend has the messages to prove it).” so even though I gave him my 2 weeks notice before a trip in a couple weeks I am taking, he fires me. And I know it was the right thing to do was quit and say forget it to him. But yet, I still feel like should’ve I not said anything to him. And it feels all wrong, but yet he was the one acting childish and was wrong to me and my friends.