Laced With Grace

The sun bounced off the surface of the water, leaving diamonds in its wake. A crisp, cool breeze ruffled the leaves in the small trees planted along the edge of the sidewalk. It was a perfect day for a walk,  one of those days that somehow draws us a little closer to heaven.

I walked breathing in the cool, fresh air and, as often happens when I walk alone, I began to pray. There have been so many desperate needs in recent months – needs that are beyond the ability of mere humans to meet. Apart from the Lord’s intervention, there would be no hope. It is a comfort to place the burden into His capable, gracious hands and know that He hears and answers prayer.

I crossed the street and began walking near the man-made pond, with its fountains shooting plumes of water into the air. The ducks, sunning themselves in the grass,  saw me coming and waddled quickly down  into the water. They have made the long journey from the north and are wary of strangers. A little thought flitted across the my mind as I watched them – a little problem that had been worrisome. I brushed it aside, saying with the mental gesture that I didn’t think it was important enough to pray about. Or more correctly, saying I didn’t think the Lord would want to be bothered by anything so trivial.

In that moment I felt a gentle reprimand – a reminder that there is nothing in my life He considers insignificant. Every need, every care, every sorrow, every struggle, every disappointment, every thing that affects me is important to Him. He is the God who knows “when I sit down and when I rise up;” who is “acquainted with all my ways;” who knows what I will say “even before there is a word on my tongue; whose  thoughts about me, were I to count them, ” would outnumber the sand.” (Psalm 139)

He is the God who “counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them.” (Psalm 147:4)  Jesus said of Him, “Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from Your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear; you are of more value than many sparrows.”  (Matt. 10: 29-31).

Never doubt the depth of the Father’s love for you. Everything that touches you is important to Him. As far as He is concerned, there is nothing insignificant in your life. It all matters to Him. You can bring Him all of your “impossibles” and all of the little things that don’t seem worthy of His attention. He bends down low and listens. He delights to hear your voice. He longs to draw you close and love you lavishly. You are absolutely safe in His care.

Blessings,

Linda

Picture: the little sparrows who have come for a drink from our birdbath – the sparrows He sees and cares for

“No, dear friends, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to strain to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:13-14 (NLT)

My husband and I sometimes watch the new TV drama, Unforgettable.  The main character in this series is one of few people in the world who has the daunting ability to never forget a single detail in her life.  Sometimes I think this ability would be great to have since these days I forget why I walked into a room in the first place.  Then again it would be exhausting at times to know that you have so much “stuff” locked up inside your head and as much as you may try you cannot get rid of all that “stuff” that just really does not matter at all.  Of course my husband commented that he would feel sorry for her spouse!

Seriously though, it made me think about the useless and unnecessary “stuff” I keep in my brain.  I can forget what I just ate for dinner, but when my husband and I have a disagreement I am quick to bring up something he said 20 years ago!

Satan, the deceiver, is quick to bring to our minds our past mistakes and failures.  He knows exactly what our weaknesses are and if we allow him, he will keep us focused on those weaknesses so we cannot move forward in our lives.  We begin to doubt if we will ever get out of a certain situation or circumstance so we will eventually give up.

In the above scripture, Paul reminds us that since our hope is in Christ, we are to let go – forget those things that are past (even if it was just yesterday)  and look ahead to what God will do in our lives.  We are not to dwell on our past mistakes and failures, but instead we are to grow in our knowledge of God by focusing on our relationship with Christ now – this moment.  We need to realize that we are forgiven then move forward to a life of faith and obedience to His Word.  Each day when we awake, we need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us keep our focus on Christ.  In so doing we can look forward to a fuller and more meaningful life because our hope is in Christ and not ourselves or others.

January 12, 2003

I remember the day so clearly. I was a little over 10 weeks pregnant with our first child. It was a Sunday, and we were at a fellowship lunch after morning church services. I went to the bathroom and was shocked to see I was spotting. I remember the fear I felt and how I tried to stay calm, how I told myself it’s okay, it’s probably nothing. I told my husband, and we quickly finished eating and went home. I called my Mom and tried to search online for answers. I just wanted to crawl in bed and make it all go away. I prayed over and over that everything was fine and that the spotting was just nothing. I was so scared though. I stayed in bed most of the day, and my Mom came to visit, to be supportive and give us a hug. My heart hurt as we prayed and hoped our baby was okay.

The next morning my husband took me to the local emergency room. I don’t know why I didn’t go see my regular doctor, but there I was feeling so sad and scared, not really wanting to find out what was wrong but at the same time needing to know. My heart hurt as we went through the examination and the ultrasound, followed by the news that we had lost our baby. I was having a miscarriage. I lay on the table crying as my husband stepped out of the room to call to tell the sad news to my Mom.

I remember in the following days just feeling as if I was just going through the motions of life. My Mom stayed with me a few days while I recovered physically. I dreaded going back to my classroom. I remember when I did go back how it felt so foreign. My world as I knew it had stopped for four days, and now here I was back in the classroom where I was supposed to act normal and go on with my life. Nothing was the same for me though. I didn’t know how to go on at first.

Nine years ago. So much has happened in that time, and I still sometimes will wonder about that baby. I have always felt that God had a reason and a purpose, just like He does with everything we go through. Up until that point I had never been through such a loss in my life. I had no idea the pain that can be associated with a miscarriage and didn’t really know that many women who had faced a loss. Now when I hear of someone who lost a baby my heart hurts for them, and I’m taken back to that time nine years ago.

I am thankful for how God used those 10 short weeks with our baby to change my heart forever. Through our loss, God taught me to depend on Him. I learned some things that are not appropriate or beneficial to say to someone who is hurting. I learned that carefully chosen caring words are so helpful. I learned how much it means to get a kind note or email, even months down the road. I learned that you never know what someone is going through or what kind of day they are having.

God used our loss to help change my heart to be more compassionate for the hurting. It is my prayer that I can offer comfort to others who are hurting in their lives whether it be due to miscarriage or something else.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Have a day of blessings!