Forgive
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 NIV
Last year on my personal blog, I wrote a post about a pit I found myself in. It was the pit of unforgiveness. It happened when a neighbor/Christian girlfriend and I had a falling out over a Living Proof Live (Beth Moore) event that we were supposed to travel to. Following this falling out, neither one of us spoke to the other again.It was really sad, here we were, the only 2 Christians on our entire block and we wouldn’t speak to each other. Not even a “hi” or wave when outside. The falling out was not entirely my fault. However, I knew I played a role in keeping it going. I knew the buttons to push and I intentionally pushed them. I knew that even if I was absolutely blameless, I still needed to seek forgiveness and bury the grudge.
Throughout the past few months, I was reminded that I needed to seek her forgiveness. Every time it was communion and the pastor would say, “if you have a trespass against your brother, get up and go ask his forgiveness before taking communion.” I would look around the room, nope she wasn’t there. I would breathe a sigh of relief. Plenty of times I drafted an apology in my head to write in an email but I never got up the courage to do it. Apologizing through an email would be the easy way out and I didn’t even do that.
This past Sunday, I was cooking dinner – an attempt to make Chicken Marsala. I was sautéing fresh veggies in marsala wine in one skillet and sautéing shrimp in butter and garlic in another. The kids were busy with dad playing Lego Star Wars on the playstation and the doorbell rang. I assumed it was the little boy down the street coming back to get in on the Star Wars game. Surprisingly, my children who fight to see who will open the door, were so engrossed in their game they didn’t hear it ring. I walked to the front door and guess who was standing there. Yes, my neighbor. My heart sank as she quietly said, “Can we talk?” I invited her in (to the kitchen as I had to keep stirring my food). She began, “I’m here to apologize.” She explained her situation. She explained her hurt. She said it was cowardness that kept her from apologizing sooner. It was pride that kept me from apologizing sooner. We hugged, we cried – we made a playdate. I know I have to forgive her. I know I had to show her grace. After she left, I was reminded of my direct disobedience by not apologizing myself. I knew God had called me, through teaching in His word, to apologize. And I simply refused. I owed God a great big I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I chose to be disobedient. She didn’t take the simple way out either. No email. She took the time to come to my home not knowing how she would be received and ask for forgiveness.
I don’t know where our relationship will go from here. Certainly, Jesus mandates us to love one another. In time, all those hurts will most likely heal. And after nine months, I am finally out of that pit. My prayer for you is that you won’t allow unforgiveness to take root in your lives. I remember Beth Moore said something to the affect of forgiveness doesn’t make “it” alright – it makes you alright. And that is the truth.
Dear heavenly father, thank you for your forgiveness and grace. Lord, I am so sorry that I was disobedient and allowed unforgiveness to take root. I pray my testimony today will touch someone who reads it and will prayerfully consider not allowing unforgiveness to have a stronghold any longer. In Christ Jesus precious name, Amen.
Thanks for the great post! It is making me examine myself right now! Sometimes it seems so easy to take the easy way out, but the weight it puts on you and the desert you go into is not worth it. May God give me the courage to make things right and not take the easy way out.
Dana, this is making me take a hard look at myself too. Great post.
Thank you for sharing this. This has happened in my life also!
Be blessed dear one.
Oh dear – that hit right to the heart. I guess I better get my booty in gear to ask for forgiveness. Thank you so much for sharing the story of you and your neighbor, Dana. I needed to read that today.
Blessings to you and yours…
Thank you for this wonderful post!! I just found this site today & am in awe of how honest & inspirational it is! And just what I need at this point in my life! THANK YOU!!
Wow, Dana,
You are a true servant to share this honestly about your life. We all have been there. All.of.us….
Praising the Lord for He gives us the capacity and the ability to forgive. Wonderful post. Love and hugs, Lynn
HI….I don’t always leave comments, but really loved your openess in this post. Last year I posted on something similar and so it was good to read what someone else has gone thru. One thing that helped me finally apologise was a phrase that a pastor friend ( Jack Frost…yes his real name) said to me: ” When something happens between two people, even if the other person is 98% to blame, and you are only 2% of the blame – make sure you take 100% responsibility for your 2%.” That really helped me to see my mistakes or my role in an apology, in a whole new light. I hope that the Lord will restore your friendship with your neighbour to a new depth. She sounds like a lady, who is listening to God…and who is willing to make the first move – not a bad friend to keep! Bless you, for being so open! And isn’t it just hte way of the enemy, to use a church thing – a spiritual event that you were to enjoy together – to divide! He’s so sneaky sometimes..and yet so subtle isn’t he ?
It isn’t easy to be so transparent Dana, but it always blesses others. Thank you for sharing this.
Dana, this topic is so universal…and so needed. I had a similar experience a few years back, and it sapped a lot of time and energy as I held back. Thank you for being so transparent in your faith, and for writing someting we will all remember.
I pray that your friendship will be better than before. My oldest daughter found herself in a similar situation. The other young lady was leading a Bible Study and my daughter started attending, mostly because there were ot;hers there. Slowly the others stoped coming and left the two of them by themselves one night. Through a time of pray requests they began to talk about their problem and in a post my daughter said they were going to do a special study that helps in the areas they need to work on to bring their friendship back to the way it was. They are talking and praise the Lord they both have asked for forgivness of each other.
Thank you for sharing and for being so open.
Been there a time or two. Awkward is an understatement, huh? Glad it all worked out.
So glad that this frienship has been restored. ((HUGS))
What a *beautiful* testimony and witness, Dana. Thank you so much for sharing. It has boosted my walk with the Lord today.
One in the Body~ Pearl
What a beautiful post. Let me encourage you to continue to walk the path toward healing and restoration. I went through a similar situation two years ago…and though the relationship is not the same, it has grown both parties in our awe of the Savior’s power to mend as individuals and as friends.
what a beautiful post! As one who has many opportunities to be offended by my in-laws, a post like this is great for me to read! My pastor just said today that it is helpful to remember that no one’s sins against me come close to my sins against the Lord, and He has forgiven me by grace alone, through faith alone, completely! It is good for all of us believers to remind ourselves of that I can imagine, because it’s true, no matter what trials we face, we are forgiven and made the righteousness of Jesus, so
nothing can take that away from us! Praise God!!!
I look above my typing at all these genuinly affected women…posting their gratitude. I join them. You have given the enemy a black eye in your honesty, in your openess, and in teaching us—US ALL—that we are to forgive—to be forgiven. It sometimes hurts to humble ourselves and ask someone to forgive us…but it is far worse pain to continue to carry around hurt feelings—and past wrongs.
Dana, thank you for being obedient to the Father and posting such a topic. It is necessary for our healing. Forgiveness.