The God Who Shares Our Pain
“Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
Just yesterday I sat with a friend in the neuro intensive care family waiting room. Tears flowed from her eyes and her speech stammered as she shared with me the trauma that began to unfold ten days earlier with her mother. One day she was fine, just the normal ills of a 75 year old woman. The next day she woke up not feeling good and 8 hours later she slipped into a coma in the hospital examining room.
After two brain surgeries, a part of her mother’s brain removed and 300 stitches later, my friend cried because what caused this is still virtually unknown. Her mother is still in a coma and the air and the fluid are building back up again.
I had no solutions and she wasn’t looking for any from me. She was merely finding comfort in a shoulder to cry on and the solace of a hug. She’d been there for 10 days and no one but her pastor and other family members drove the 100 mile trip to the hospital to be of comfort to her and the rest of the family.
As a society, we seem to have lost the ability to be stretcher bearers for those who are hurting. We might say one or more of the following, “Why should I visit this person?” “ I’m really not that close to them.” “I can’t do anything anyway. I don’t have anything to say. I’d only be in the way.”
We seem to have forgotten that it is often in “useless,” unpretentious, humble presence with one another that consolation and comfort is found.
To make ourselves available to someone in need is difficult because we are put in the position of being vulnerable to others and experiencing their weakness and powerlessness. We become part of the uncertainty and unknown, and must yield control of knowing what to do in a situation. And yet, when we become a stretcher bearer, we see a new strength and hope are born in the hearts of those we comfort.
By offering comfort and consolation, by just being there and staying with someone during those times of illness, mental anguish or spiritual darkness, a strange phenomenon often occurs. We grow close with the person and build a bond that is as strong as any blood ties, simply because we entered into the dark, uncharted waters with them.
“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14
Likewise, God is always with us. He’s an ever present help in our times of need. He came to be a part of our lives and offers us grace and truth. He may or may not choose to answer all our questions, or solve our problems, but the comfort comes in knowing He is with us.
His deepest desire is for us to enter into an intimate relationship with Him. To be yoked with Him through the fellowship of suffering. ( Philippians 3:10) By acknowledging Him as Emmanuel, God With Us, we find in Him the One who lives with us. He shares our joys and sorrows, He defends and protects us.
It is in the intimacy of realizing He is with us that we rest in the tender, compassionate arms of a God that loves and cares for us more than we will ever know.
Visit Marsha at her blog, Marsha’s Musings
This is such an insightful post Marsha. I have to confess that I am guilty of such an offense myself. Thank you for the reminder.
I sent you an email with the code for the prayer button. It is also posted on my blog as it will appear in your sidebar. Others have already copied it to their blogs and begun praying.
Let me know if you need anything else. Much love to you.
Thank you for sharing, I’ll be praying for your friend and her mother.
This is so touchingly beautiful Marsha, and it is so very true. I think that when we are suffering a deep hurt, we really don’t want any words, we just want someone to be with us.
Well put, Marsha. Very true. Thank you for the reminder.
Such an insightful post, sweet Marsha. Bless you for being the kind of person that makes herself available to a friend that is hurting beyond human ability to comfort.
Sometimes, the most precious gift we can give is our time, spent sitting next to a friend, holding a hand, silently praying for God’s mercy and grace.
Bless you,
Susan
Marsha, how true your words are! So many times when I worked in ICU as a nurse, family members would sit alone in the waiting room. Often people don’t come because they don’t know what to say. But often what is needed is simply their presence. Many times words aren’t necessary. And we can always pray with them.
Marsha,
You don’t know how perfect the timing of these words is for me. These thoughts I’ve been thinking of “what can I do” yet feel the need to do something for a friend from college.
Thanks for touching my heart, love you.
Oh Dear Marsha, thank you to help me overcome yet another shortfall of me. I need to confess that at times I have paid a formal visit to the people in need to satisfy the worldly duties, but returned with a touch deep down in my heart. But never pondered beyond it. Thanks for letting me know the deep down touch is because of the comfort I had given to a person in need even though I was paying a very formal visit.
As St. Therese beautifully puts it, ‘You know well enough that Our Lord does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, nor even at their difficulty, but at the love with which we do them’, I’ll correct myself to pay a loving visit (from a formal visit).
Yesterday itself, I read about your planned visit in your blog post and prayed for all of you (you, your firiend and her mother).
I sent out your request. Many of us are praying.
Also; Thank you for sharing this Marsha.
It helps me to understand why people don’t
reply to visit us & meet Laurie at our home.
Laurie has been in a coma for 2 years at home.
“Why should I visit this person?”
“ I’m really not that close to them.”
“I can’t do anything anyway.
I don’t have anything to say.
I’d only be in the way.”
That was a good quote, Thank you.
Having gone through issues of the brain injury
with Laurie, my heart goes out to you & your friends.
I know I’ve been pretty self focused all my life,
and can relate to those who are not warm towards us.
Oh so true, Marsha. We really do rush through life, not caring for each other more…but we ought to…I to often don’t stop long enough to comfort someone in word or deed.
Thank you for the reminder that we are His hands and feet this side of heaven.
Ouch. You got me on this Marsha! Because of some particular areas of growth the Lord is leading me on, this message is incredibly timely and has given me some much-needed food for thought. Thank you.