Are You a Helpmeet?
Genesis 2:18: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
How many times have you read the above passage and just kept going? I have to admit that I am definitely guilty of doing just that. I have heard and read the beginning of Genesis so many times that it becomes easy to take it for granted. I find myself skimming along something like this:
“God created all this stuff every day. Everything else came in pairs, so God made Adam take a temporary dirt nap while He took out one of his ribs. Adam and Eve went on to ruin the world for all the rest of us. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.”
Does that summary sound familiar at all to you? In almost every sermon that I’ve heard, the focus has been on God taking a part of Adam out. But lately, God has really forced me to look at the scenario through a very different lens. With each of the other creatures on earth, God created pairs in order for them to pro-create. But when it came to Adam, God had a greater calling in mind. Adam needed someone to “help meet” his needs. This is not said of any other male creature. The mighty lion did not need a lioness to help meet his needs. The tiny mouse did not need another mouse to help meet his needs. But Adam, what was different about him that he needed a help meet? And for that matter, what does that term really mean?
Over the past few months, I’ve spent a lot of time pondering this passage, and I’ve come up with two distinct answers. First, because Adam was created in the image of God, he needed companionship. The verse starts out with “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Adam was created for community. But if it were simply a need for companionship, then God could have just created another man. After all, then they both would have been created in the image of God. So why did God go to the trouble to create a different type of creature? Why a woman? I believe that the answer lies in the second half of the verse: “I will make him an help meet for him.”
History has long had favorite ways of expressing this same sentiment between couples. Phrases like “my better half”, “my other half”, or as Jerry McGuire said some time ago, “You complete me.” No other relationship in the world has the pull of that between a man and a woman. It is not by accident, and it is not incidental. Woman was made to complete man.
Now, I’m going to pause right here to clarify a couple of things that have gotten really clouded in the last few generations. This does not mean that woman is weak or subservient. This also does not mean that man cannot function without woman. The meaning is actually deeper and with great responsibility. As a wife, we are created to not only complete our husbands, but to come along beside him and help meet his needs.
As a young, independent bride, I used to bristle whenever I would hear expressions like that. I remember so many times that my mother-in-law told me to by my husband’s cheerleader. I would become angry that she thought he deserved a cheerleader and I didn’t. What right did she think she had in telling me that I should be all bouncy and positive and make him think that he was so wonderful. Why didn’t I deserve some of that myself? Now, many years later, I finally understand that it is not a matter of who deserves encouragement more as much as it is how much encouragement can I give.
My husband, as does every other man out there, lives in a society where men are constantly undermined. He carries the burden of caring for our family as well as being expected to meet our physical and financial needs. It is a burden that I often see him struggling with. He was never prepared for this, and I have seen this scenario repeated with so many of my friends’ husbands as well.
The question becomes, how do I deal with this? Do I add to this burden by pointing out all of his flaws? Or do I come along beside him, encouraging him (yes, being that cheerleader that I so despised), and helping to meet his needs?
More than anything else, I have learned that the biggest role that I can play as a wife is that of the encourager. This is where I can help meet my husband’s needs. I can be his biggest cheerleader without sacrificing one ounce of myself. And what is more, I have learned that as I encourage him, I actually become stronger instead of weaker. And in doing so, I find that it is not good for this man to be alone. I must be his help meet.
Well said, Wendy! Great post. Great encouragement for all of us.
Wonderful encouragement, bless you.
Amen to that Wendy; yes, we should encourage our husbands as much as we can. It is a rough world our husbands have to ‘compete’ in, and we should do everything to encourage them.
I feel like you just took us on a marriage retreat! good stuff here. One of the greatest ways we can encourage our husbands is to pray for them, and let them know that we are their biggest fan! Loved your post! 🙂