Here I Am, Send Me

“And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” Isaiah 6:8 ESV

Last month I had the privilege to attend an Awana Ministry Conference. I never expected to get so much out of an Awana conference. As I sat listening to the closing session, I was moved to participate in Awana’s Returning Hearts Celebration. This is an Awana mission program at prisons across America where Awana will come to the prisons and have a carnival type day for dads who are incarcerated and their children. I found out most of these dads are now regenerated brothers in Christ and this is their one day to share their faith and testimony of God’s grace with their children.

I am fortunate that our area’s Awana missionary attends my church and she is heading up this trip. Of course our church was sending a team to help and I couldn’t wait to talk to her about it. A week later while I was in the final stages of organizing that night’s Awana things (for those who don’t know – I am my church’s Sparks Director), our missionary walked in. I began to enthusiastically tell her how I knew God wanted me to go on that trip. She enthusiastically began to give me all the information, “and we will fly to New Orleans…”

My heart sank as I asked her, “Fly? Like in an airplane?”

Ok, this trip isn’t for me after all. Nope. I don’t do airplanes. I will gladly drive to New Orleans – it’s only a 12 hour drive from home. Other fears began to set in as well. What if there happens to be a revolt at the prison? Here I thought Angola Prison in Louisiana would be a safe mission trip – a nice place to get my feet wet without any real possibility of harm. A million “what ifs” began to fill my mind.
Now, how do I get out of this? I was so excited, so ready, so willing. Until all the who, what, when, where, why and hows where beginning to fill in. Maybe mission work isn’t for me after all.

The enemy sure is good at attempting to put up hindrances to the works of the Lord being carried out by an imperfect people. I have news for him – I’m going to do this trip – even if it means doing it afraid. I know God is perfect. I know God is sovereign. I know He has a plan. The Lord knows my fears – He knows my every thought. He knew when He laid a passion for this mission trip on my heart exactly the way I would react and when I would think it. I have to trust Him. I cannot worry about a plane crashing and leaving my husband and children behind. I cannot worry about a revolt at the prison.

1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake. Psalm 23:1-3 ESV

Growing. Learning. Trusting. Even in fears, even in failures – The Lord is my shepherd – so here I am, Lord, send me.

Dear Lord, Thank you for being the Lord of my life. Please help me to live in obedience. Please use me as your servant to carry Your message of truth and hope. Lord, I pray a special prayer today for our nation as we will elect a new leader. I pray that we would be obedient in that as well to Your sovereign will. In Jesus Christ name, Amen.

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