To Catch a Hummingbird…..and to find faith.

I watched the buzzing movement near the hibiscus tree, in wonder.  The blurred wings and the bright green head were not a bug, as I first thought.  A long graceful beak sipped nectar from the tissue paper like flower.

My brain sifted through the information:  “Tiny, buzzing wings, green head, long beak, flower sipping” Suddenly, like a yellow plastic star, slipping into a toddler’s shape sorter- the information found it’s fit:  “Hummingbird.”  I was shocked.  I was amazed. I researched.  I was surprised to find out that there actually were hummingbirds in Michigan!

Oh, sure-  I’d seen hummingbird feeders for sale and in gardens for years. There are rows of shining feeders and sticky, dust covered,  bottles of hummingbird nectar lined up in every local home and garden center.  But, I’d never actually, seen a hummingbird.   I thought it must be some marketing thing, or a standard stocking procedure to have the feeding supplies on the shelves.  I  doubted they were ever really sold, let alone used. 

Still skeptical about their existence,  but now on a quest for evidence,  I headed to the store. I bought both a tall glass feeder with a red plastic flowers on the  bottom and a dusty bottle of nectar.  My husband hung it outside, next to the patio door.  Then,  I watched . 

May.   June.  July.  August.  September.  October.     6 unbelievable months of stalking. (I mean watching.)  I kept the patio door blinds open.  I kept my camera ready.  I became desperate to get a glimpse.  A clear picture.  Nothing.   I started to doubt whether I’d ever seen a humming bird at all.  “Maybe it was just a big bug.”    I wondered whether the nectar was evaporating, instead of being lapped up by a tiny bird.   But,  kept re-filling it. Just in case.

My poor family, feared for my sanity.  The doors remained open.  I shrieked if they blocked my view.  I started seeing hummingbirds in my peripheral vision.  I saw them in the kitchen.  I dreamed about hummingbirds. I was a woman obsessed.  Just often enough, to keep me hopeful,  I’d get a real glimpse.  A bird-shaped shadow.  A brilliant green head.  A shimmering red throat.  A blur of wings.  Then- it was gone.  No matter how ready I was with the camera, I couldn’t capture it.

In early in September- I saw it again.  Sipping away at the feeder.  Instead of scrambling to find the camera.  I just,  watched.  I was awed by the speed of the wings.  I was amazed at the brilliance of the colors.  I was dumbfounded by the precision of the beak dipping into the tiny holes in the feeder.  I was convinced.  There ARE hummingbirds in Michigan!  (Yes- I can be a little slow.)

Over twenty-three years ago I had a similar experience with God.  I started seeing little glimpses of Him.  God seemed to hover like a hummingbird in my peripheral vision.  I saw Him in a child’s face.  I saw His story acted out in a Christmas play.  I saw His desire for relationships in a young man who kept talking about God as though he knew Him.   I saw his hand-work in the beautiful world He created. 

I started reading the bible to find out who He was, for myself.  I asked questions….. “If there is a God, then why would he allow _____”    “How do you know______”  There were lots of “blanks”.   First, I asked people, then I found myself asking HIM!  Although I didn’t find answers to everything I asked- somehow in the asking- I found myself  starting to believe.

I watched.  I kept my eyes open.  One day, something just clicked.  I believed.  As truly as there are hummingbirds in Michigan, and clouds, and stars and wind in the sky… I believe there is a God.  And- almost unbelievably- He loves me!  Unlike our elusive hummingbird- He wants to be found and known by me!

And, by you.

Have you seen glimpses of Him? Have you seen people, like hummingbird feeders and nectar bottles that are Christians, but you’ve been unsure whether anyone really “bought that stuff” anymore? Do you have questions?  Doubts?  Do you believe , but sometimes wonder if you’ve imagined the whole thing? Do you sometimes feel like God is elusive, always in your peripheral vision but never really seen clearly?

Let’s stalk Him (I mean watch for Him) together.

 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
 “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

 Psalm 34:8

“Taste and see that the LORD is good; 
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.”

Psalm 8

 ” O LORD, our Lord,
       how majestic is your name in all the earth!
       You have set your glory
       above the heavens.

  From the lips of children and infants
       you have ordained praise  
       because of your enemies,
       to silence the foe and the avenger.

  When I consider your heavens,
       the work of your fingers,
       the moon and the stars,
       which you have set in place,

 what is man that you are mindful of him,
       the son of man that you care for him?

 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings 
       and crowned him with glory and honor.

  You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
       you put everything under his feet:

  all flocks and herds,
       and the beasts of the field,

 the birds of the air,
       and the fish of the sea,
       all that swim the paths of the seas.

  O LORD, our Lord,
       how majestic is your name in all the earth!”

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