A True Fast
My husband and I just returned from a trip to San Diego. We had a wonderful time, just the two of us. I had been looking forward to spending some time alone while he attended work meetings. So…..on the first morning of our trip, I went out for a run and to explore the downtown a bit. What I saw surprised and appalled me.
People waking up and beginning their day…..
from a park bench…..
from a makeshift cardboard “tent”….
Now, I am not a stranger to homeless people. We frequently visit Chicago and are familiar with “street people.” But, somehow, seeing them during this trip affected me like never before. Maybe it was the sheer quantity I saw. There were both men and women. I saw every race- white, black, and Asian among the hurting. I saw both young and old. The image of a tall, beautiful woman looking at her reflection in a glass building as she cleaned her face with her hands and saliva will be etched in my mind forever. What struck me, and broke my heart was that all of the people carried something. Some, like the man above, carried grocery bags full of their belongings. Others had black garbage bags stuffed with their life’s possessions. And, some pushed around carts or luggage full of their “stuff.”
I couldn’t even fathom being able to fit all of my belongings- my life– into a cart that I pushed around all day. What unnerved me was witnessing people, human beings rummage through garbage cans looking for food…..
My heart broke for the people I saw that morning. But, the tipping point came when I stopped at Starbuck’s for a tea before heading back to the hotel. As I waited in line, holding back tears and silently praying, a very thin man, about my age, ran in the store, pulled out a discarded half eaten muffin out of the garbage, ran out of the store and ate it. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The first thing I did was buy the man a breakfast sandwich and gave it to him.
When I got back to my room, I wept and prayed. I knew I had to do more than just buy someone a sandwich.
I have been reading a life-changing book, Not a Fan. It is about being a FOLLOWER of Jesus, not just a “FAN”- living out a life of faith instead of just talking about it. The book challenges us, as Believers to die to self and live for Christ, following Him wherever He would take us. As I cried out to God that morning, I told Him I wanted to LIVE what I was reading- I wanted it to make a difference in my life! I couldn’t go have a manicure or lie by the pool- I had to live out my faith and DO SOMETHING!
As I prayed in the shower, a thought came to me to spend my day with the homeless.
So, I went to Subway and bought a small stack of gift cards. After praying about what to write in each one, I filled them with messages of hope and love, telling the person reading how much God loves them and how precious they are. On some, I felt led to tell them that God knows their name.
I went back to Starbuck’s, found a table outside and prayed that God would bring people to me and that He would give me strength to do this thing that was REALLY out of my comfort zone. Fear gripped me. What if someone would get violent or yell at me? What if someone started calling me a hypocrite or self-righteous or something? What if I was embarrassed? I couldn’t believe my fears! Here were people rooting through garbage and I WAS WORRIED ABOUT BEING EMBARRASSED????????
I was surprised at how nervous I was. My heart raced. My hands were shaking. I knew I needed to just DO IT. So, when a man approached a garbage can to go through it, I approached him and gave him the card, telling him what it was. He looked shocked, but took it. The next man who approached the garbage had a different reaction, though. He refused to take it. His sad eyes broke my heart as he said, “I can’t go in to Subway like this. Look at me.” And he walked away.
Many discouraging thoughts ran through my mind and most encouraged me to quit.
“What are you doing?”
“You are insulting them.”
“You can’t make a difference.”
But, I continued and my stack got smaller. I finished with the last group of four people all sitting against a building together. When I gave them the last of my cards, they were joyful and kept saying “God bless you.” Here is one of the men.
I am ashamed to say I have forgotten this man’s name. I asked him his name and it was like I gave him a million dollars just asking that. He got tears in his eyes when he told me it.
I may have forgotten, but God knows his name.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows…” James 1:27
“Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the cords of unjustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood?” Isaiah 58:6-7
Lord, may I die daily to myself and follow You wherever You would lead. May I see people the way You see people. Break my heart with what breaks Your heart. Give me strength and courage to do the things that are uncomfortable. I love You, Lord. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
“Fasting” with you,
Tracy
Amen, bless your beautiful serving heart.
Oh, this post brought tears to my eyes…
\”I may have forgotten, but God knows his name.\”…oh, yes, He does…
Traci,
This is an incredible post! How brave of you to actually walk amongst these people. You are so right, God does know his name. I’m glad I found you through BlogFrog.
Sorry, I listed the wrong web address before.
When I first began blogging, I used to visit you and do Thankful Thursday with you (you did that, right???) I took a short break, and came back, and lost track of some of my favorite blogs. I am so glad to have found you again!!!
I loved this post. The timing is perfect, because I have been praying about what to do over thanksgiving. The thought of preparing and eating large amounts of food is not appealing to me!! I have been feeling like serving the homeless! Then I read this post. God’s timing, or what???? I love what you did and am challenged!!
Grace to you!
Tracy, what a beautiful story, it certainly compels us to do more than what we are already doing. I would venture to say that every community that we live in has homeless or down and out people that we probably pass by each and every day. Maybe its time we stop passing by. ((blessings))
Wow, this is incredibly powerful… thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you for sharing Tracy…I pray that we all in the family of God will overflow with Jesus’ love and make the most of every opportunity as you did. For grace to take up the cross daily.
God bless you and I pray that hope was sparked in the hearts of those you touched and God will continue to send workers into that harvest field.
Tracy how wonderful!
The fact that you were moved to tears, prayer and then action. You may never know on this side of heaven what a difference you made to the lives of those people. Any deed done in the name of Jesus, always has a ripple effect.
God will always give us the strength, confidence and boldness to carry out His kingdom business.
Your story, truly moved me and has most certainly given me food for thought.
Too many children of God prayer for God to use them, but when it comes to the crunch…..well we’ll leave that to them and God!
May riches and blessing come to your house and may every step you take, be a step of increase.
Tracy, how happy Jesus must have been to see what you did for your brothers and sisters! And what an encouragment it is to me to hear of what you did. Thank you for loving God more.
Tracy, thank you for sharing your inner most fears. I find, like you, that most of our fears stems from selfishness. A feeling of embarasment, a feeling of rejection, a feeling that we aren’t good enough. Even though God understands and has compassion for us and our feelings, His word is full of commandments that dont say, if you feel like it, or are comfortable doing it. No, He says Love one another, take care of orphans and widows when they suffer and to remain uncorrupted by this world and to entertain strangers..or as the ESV states “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”
Yes, God knows that gentlemans name you forgot, He knows them all. One may have even been an angel in disguise. Bless you for following your heart and God’s spirit.
Mindy